Worried I might lose friend..

LegacyUser

Hi,

This probably isn't that big enough of an issue to be posting here but I really would like some advice with this situation.

I haven't talked to my good friend at all for the past few weeks. We were butting heads a bit and there was some tension between us that we both picked up on. We put it down to the fact that we see too much of each other, I hang out with different groups of his friends so we'd be around each other a lot. I was under the impression that we were just going to carry on as normal and hope the bad period passed.

Then, at one point, we saw each other about three times in the one week and on the 3rd night, he text me saying 'did I ever think that he might want to spend time with his friends without me being there every single time'? I was hurt but understood and replied saying I knew where he was coming from and that I was sorry.

We haven't talked since. Our mutual friend has said that he doesn't want to hear from me so I haven't got in touch. Basically, he wants space so that's what I've been trying to give him by not talking to him.

But it's been almost a month now and I just feel really lonely and worried that this break might turn into a permanent one. I get the impression from our friend that he's really pissed off at me so I'm worried if things will ever be ok again between us. I'm also getting angry about it myself because I feel like I don't deserve this kind of reaction. Maybe I'm overreacting about it all and I should just be more patient and wait a bit longer though.

Anyway, I'd hoped someone might have some advice. Should I try and get in touch with him even though it might be a bad idea? Should I just leave it and wait? Should I calm down??

Kevster

Hi,

My two words for you are quite simple but i'd like you to really give them some thought:

Move on.

He ha made it clear that the friendship is over, as far as he is concerned, and so there is little that you can do. You can show him albeit indirectly) that you're not going to let this affect you. So, delete his number, email, and all other contact details and look away from him, and then and forward into your life. You really have no time to be spent wasted on this guy.

Kevin

Marchandire

I'd tend to agree with the first poster above, but his recommendations might be a bit premature.

The best thing I can say is: this happens to everyone at some point. I've lost two friends that I'd known and been really good mates with for most of my teens and adult life - both mates I'd had for over ten years. Things changed, they moved on, and it sucked but I'm no worse off now. Neither will you be.

Its not necessarily you either - people genuinely change, and they ditch friends for their own reasons. You have to ask yourself if you're dependant on this friend (for mutual friends or otherwise) and how much impact the end of the friendship will have on ur life. Is this the real source of anxiety for you?

And yes, you should calm down Try to mentally adjust to a situation where you're not friends anymore, get used to it, and you'll find things a lot easier. You might even find that its easier to stay friends if you take the pressure and guilt off yourself.