No Woman No Cry?

mise23

I have never attracted any interest from the female sex. This is something which is unlikely to ever change.
Can you guys think of any positives to this situation either serious or humorous?
What do I focus on for the rest of my life, if I'm never going to have a partner or children
I know posts like this have been done to death, but at least I'm trying to approach this from a positive angle : I'm just wanting to know how to make the best of a bad situation.

LegacyUser

Hi OP,

How come you will never attract a partner?

Are you just 23 years old?

OS119

you'll have more money, less hassle, never have to watch X factor, never be 'talked' into going to weddings you don't want to go to, never have to pretend to be interested in what her friends are doing, never have to hide the revulsion and contempt you feel for her family - or indeed your own - and you won't have text somebody half a dozen times before they answer the fcuking question!

otoh, you'll die on your own, possibly in a puddle of wee.

make a better choice than me!

Oh The Humanity

^^^ lol

I doubt I'll ever have God forbids either so some advantages:

Your house wont be covered in garishly coloured plastic crap 24x7

You can happily ignore everything to do with kids/kids culture/schooling kids/kids medical worries/disciplining kids etc etc

You never have to enter a toyshop unless to buy a present and even then you can enter, find the neccessary item and leave without feeling like a hostage!

You will never have to assemble a cot/pram/car seat or wrestle with same.

You will never have to watch Tinkerbell 500 times or sing nursery rhymes while being more tired than you have ever been before!

You can lie on at weekends, hell you can drink beer in the afternoon if you like!

You can go on holiday and only worry about yourself.

etc

I know it can be heartbreaking to not get what everyone else takes for granted and fair play to you for not being bitter. Sense of humour will get you through a lot!

mise23

These were exactly the kind of posts I was looking for: keep 'em coming.:D
To clarify my age I'm 35, not 23.

krudler

I've always been in long term relationships and will admit there are times where I'd love to be on my own, I love my girlfriend but christ, relationships can drive you absolutely NUTS at times, arguments where neither one of you will back down for fear of having to admit you were wrong, the silent treatment when you did something wrong and dont know what it was but should know but you dont because you're stupid.

Nights out resulting in the walking, drunk argument, she's wrecked, her heels are killing her, you're annoyed, want to get in a cab but they're as rare as unicorn shyte in the part of town where you are, you walk 5 steps ahead and she keeps stopping to cry and complain her stupid shoes are hurting, which means you have to talk back to try comfort her but are met with a wall of disdain (every couple has had this)

but on the plus side, make up sex is ****ing fantastic, that sex where you're both forgiven but still JUST mad enough at each other where hot, rough sex is the best way to sort out your problems, oh yes

iguana

mise23 wrote: »

These were exactly the kind of posts I was looking for: keep 'em coming.:D
To clarify my age I'm 35, not 23.

Have you decided that a relationship and family are not for you or have you just lost faith? If it's the former then that's fine if that's the life you want, go for it. But if it's the latter then why give up? You are only 35, you have the rest of your life ahead of you. You're a man so you can start a family at almost any point in your life. I know some man who was nearly 50 having his first child. I also went out with a guy who's dad was over 60 when he met his mother, got married and they had him. Life can be full of surprises.

It's a good idea to enjoy the good aspects of your current lifestyle, but if part of you wants a family don't close you mind to the possibility.

ash23

You can fart in bed and scratch in front of the telly.
You can leave your dirty pants on the floor as long as you want, same goes for dirty plates in the sink and pint glasses on the sitting room floor.
Toilet seat can always be up.

You can have a "bachelor pad".

You don't have to trim or preen or make sure your boxers/socks have no holes in them.

You don't have to hold her handbag. You don't have to wait in the freezing cold while she says goodbye to her friends/family (when she has been saying her goodbyes for nearly an hour).
You'll never have to spend a months salary on a diamond ring and be judged on how well you've done with the cut, clarity and sparkle.
You'll never have to spend saturday sitting outside a changing cubicle while she tries on another dress and asks your opinion....to you they all look nice.

You can order whatever you want on ALL of your pizza.

You can have full fat ice cream and beer and not get a lecture.

Your bathroom isn't overtaken with 20 different products which all do the same thing.

I could go on all day.....and I'm a girl!

mise23

Thanks again for your posts.
I already figured out the advantage of being able to be a slob whenever I want to... but the novelty wears off after a while.
Being single is not a choice I made for myself, it's just what happened.
I don't want to say much more about the reasons, for fear this turns into a self-pitying misogynistic rant.

mikemac

Relax OP

Concentrate on your studies/job for the next few months
Write down a few goals and hit them. With the marathon this week maybe you can aim for something in the Spring

davyjose

take a long fcuking holiday OP. And try to clear your head - then come home and start again.

Can't hurt.

kjl

You could just leave Ireland and move somewhere like Thailand, marry some money hungry girl over there.

mise23

I've already left Ireland.
One advantage of having few ties is that I could make a quick escape.
Presumably if I had been in a relationship I would be stuck in Dublin right now paying off an over priced mortgage.

Beruthiel

mise23 wrote: »

I have never attracted any interest from the female sex.

Do you want to and what have you done to make it happen?

This is something which is unlikely to ever change

Why?

mise23

I have tried various avenues in the past with no success.
Any woman I've even shown the mildest interest in has literally ran for the hills fighting off waves of nausea at the thought that I may have found her attractive.

On several occasions I've been engaged in completely innocuous, possibly boring, conversations with women. Completely out of the blue come panicky exclamations of 'I have a boyfriend'. FFS

The second reaction could be a cultural thing with Irish women: my theory is that they have such poor self esteem that they think any man who tries to engage them in conversation must only be after one thing.

I know saying that I'll never have a relationship may be a self fulfilling prophecy. However I have been living in hope for approximately the last 20 years without any success.
I'm fearful that if I persist in this fruitless quest I will end up becoming bitter and misogynistic.

Warfi

mise23 wrote: »

I have tried various avenues in the past with no success.
Any woman I've even shown the mildest interest in has literally ran for the hills fighting off waves of nausea at the thought that I may have found her attractive.

On several occasions I've been engaged in completely innocuous, possibly boring, conversations with women. Completely out of the blue come panicky exclamations of 'I have a boyfriend'. FFS

The second reaction could be a cultural thing with Irish women: my theory is that they have such poor self esteem that they think any man who tries to engage them in conversation must only be after one thing.

I know saying that I'll never have a relationship may be a self fulfilling prophecy. However I have been living in hope for approximately the last 20 years without any success.
I'm fearful that if I persist in this fruitless quest I will end up becoming bitter and misogynistic.

First of all, how do you know those women are fighting off waves of nausea? Have they told you this, or is it your own perception of what they're thinking?

Second of all, it's unusual that every girl you're talking tells you they have a boyfriend. One or two saying it would just be hard luck, but every girl you talk to says this when you're making innocent conversation?

Third of all, I'm an Irish woman and I don't have low self esteem, so there goes your theory that all Irish women have low self esteem. I'm not the only Irish woman without low self esteem either.

Fourth of all, if you think women (Irish or otherwise) have low self esteem, it's going to come across in your demeanour. No woman (or man for that matter) would want to hang around with anyone who thinks so little of them.

You've been living in hope for the past twenty years. You might be friendly to people when you approach them, but I find myself that if I give the person I'm talking to a piece of myself (ie piece of my outlook, a piece of my life....something like the blurb you'd find on the back of a book!), you end up finding something in common. Being friendly, kind and considerate is all well and good, but if the person you're talking to you doesn't find out any more about you, it's much harder to find common ground.

Now with the wordy worthiness out of the way....thank your lucky stars you're a man-you'll only get better looking as you get older

Peggypeg

I'm just wondering if women pick up on the fact that you seem to really dislike and disrespect Irish women? I'm assuming you don't say what you've said above to women when speaking to them, if you do that could be a clue to why they "run for the hills", you sound a wee bit bitter to be honest. Maybe you're not always so misoginistic, but it could be a clue to why you're single?

Also get a pet, they'll work wonders for loneliness.