Domestic

LegacyUser

First time poster here! Please delete if inapproprate.

I'm going through a pretty tough time at the moment with my family and with college. In the last 15 years I've been beaten on numerous occasions by my father after a regular drunken binge....I've just let home again today as I normally do to head back to college. I'm simply broken. It was simply just another domestic but it's only me that's ever affected...I'm the one that ends up with the bruises every weekend/every other weekend....At this minute, I don't know what to do anymore...I left home and moved over 200 miles away from home to distance myself from my family so this wouldn't happen. I have no choice but to go home most weekends, I do try and stay away as much as possible but at this moment I've no choice to go home because a close friend of mine is seriously ill.

I've contemplated harming myself and have done so on numerous occasions. I've been on anti-depressants (which havn't helped in the slightest yet my dr wants me to remain on them, however I stopped them a month or so ago).

I am in third year now in college, having had repeats every year....This year so far, I've only been in college for one full day and odd hours here and there, which is no good. I am so far behind in all my college work and as above can't get out of bed in the morning to go in because I'm not sleeping at night.

I have attended numerous councelling sessions going back almost two years now and feel like I'm simply going around in circles and I've just decided to stop going to councelling. I am afraid to go back to my doctor because I'm afraid she'll think I've lost the plot or something!!

Is there anyone else out there thats been in a similar situation and can advise me what do do in some way....Any help or advice is much appreciated...

Kevster

Hi,

I cannot relate entirely to what has happened to you but I can certainly understand the pain that you have inside you. However, I truly encourage you to 'talk' it all out. Going to the counsellors might not feel as if it's helping, but it is. Counsellors rarely are the end-point for things like this. rather, they are the starting point. As such, I think you should actively engage with your counsellor about where you should proceed next because you feel that you need further - different- treatment.

Certainly, don't ever feel that you are alone. You can PM me or another moderator here any time you wish and I or them will be happy to respind to you.

Kevin

bSlick

Report him to the guards and have him locked up.

LegacyUser

I've tried numerous things including the Gardai and none of them to date has worked. Thanks for the thought though!

Kevster

Tell them that you want to arrange a chat with the superintendant. I mean, What are Gardai? - They're just humans. Therefore, they're incompetent. A superindent, however, will feel that he/she is obliged to speak to you if you feel that you are in danger.

Kevin

mikemac

dontknow127 wrote: »

I've tried numerous things including the Gardai and none of them to date has worked. Thanks for the thought though!

Escalate!
The garda on the front desk may not know what to do.
The desk sergeant or even higher, the superintendent will follow procedure and hopefully sort this.

Don't get fobbed off, if you're not getting the result then respectfully ask for a superior officer.

cafecolour

There's domestic violence organizations that might be able to help. They are more directed towards a parent with younger children, but they might able to point you in the correct direction:

www.safeireland.ie

I don't know what gender you are but:
www.amen.ie is a male specific one
www.womensaid.ie is a female oriented one

LegacyUser

I had to Gardai over to the house one night when he was steaming drunk and they were like what do you expect us to do?? I will try and get on to someone in higher rank to see what they will do. The problem is as well it's a small town and everybody know's everyone else's news...not something I want to face when I go home!

But on the other hand, I don't need to face being slapped about either. I am far more concerned about myself than anyone else at the minute, I feel it's putting on me harder now than it did ten/twelve years ago. I know it sounds selfish but no matter what help I've put in front of him, he has rejected it...and now I'm at a loose end because I have to go home most weekends to see my friend...

wolfpawnat

I have an alcoholic, verbally abusive father and a controlling bi-polar mother. What did I do, I fecked off and got myself a life, without them. I am 22 and for the last year and 5 months I have feared no one. I had a baby and I put myself into college. I had to come out again because of the unplanned pregnancy, but I shall return:D!!!!

It is terrifying to leave it all and it took me too long, but I got there and I do not regret my decision. You need to run too, for yourself! But no one here can force you to do that, and I think you know you have to run but don't want to because it is terrifying. You have to look after yourself and ignore pleas from your family how they'll change and how they didn't mean it. A few months without you in their lives and they may actually mean it the next time they say it!

LegacyUser

I do want to run that's why I left three years ago, but something/someone always draws me back...I have never once looked forward to going home, In fact I dread it!

Every Thursday night or Friday I'm literally there on the bus picturing what's going to happen and true to form it does happen!

Fair play to you for running, it took alot of courage and congratulations on your child! I know it's for the best that I stay away and think I will from now on...It will give me more time to focus on college, which I'm so far behind in...and also hopefully de-stress me as well!