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Confused

  • 26-10-2009 12:32pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Hello.

    Briefly...

    34yo Married woman. No sex life with Hubby. No kids. Have been with women prior to marriage, but nothing that would constitute anything more than a one night stand (same could be said for my history with men). Obviously bi, not either or. Can't stop fantasizing about women, actually my 'urges' go in to overdrive in the presence of 'sexual energy' from men too. wonder if I'm a closet case or are my feelings being exaggerated due to 'platonic' marriage.

    Can anyone relate?


Comments

  • #2
    swirlser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 289 ✭✭swirlser


    Doesnt sound like your a closet case. You seem very much aware of who turns you on (in this case, both male & female). And just because you havent announced to the world that you are bi, doesnt in itself put you in the closet.

    The problem here is your clearly not happy (at least with certain aspects of) in your current relationship. You cannot carry on like this or you will regret it sorely. So you need to ask yourself if your relationship is worth saving, do you still love him, do you actually want or believe its possible to get things right again?

    If there is a chance that you can try turn things around with your husband, then you need to talk through how your feeling. Do not hold back and definitely dont put it off any longer. It'll only get worse the longer you leave it and you both deserve to be happy, so if your marriage is worth anything then you should be able to be very frank with each other and make the changes needed.

    If you either are unable to work out the problem(s) or if you realise that you no longer wish to be in this relationship, then again its my opinion you shouldnt hold back or put it off any longer. You dont want to wake up one day and realise your 30s have come and gone and your still in the same boat....

    You only live once, be true to yourself :)


  • #3
    Dwn Wth Vwls
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 401 ✭✭Dwn Wth Vwls


    I'd agree that your marriage situation is most likely interfering with your feelings. I really think you should sit down and talk about that or find some sort of resolution, because things are only going to get worse. If you resolve that issue you'll probably be thinking far more clearly and recognise which of your feelings are genuine and which were just escapist.


  • #4
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Thank you.
    Yes, the current state of things is in the way of my being able to clearly feel anything. I have had 'the talk' with hubby many times only to have it swept under the carpet time & again. After the last time I brought it up I said it would be my last time to do so & explained that the way I was feeling was a threat to our relationship.

    I love him & I love our life together save for the fact that I'm so sexually frustrated. I don't want to break up. At times I get angry that we operate with 'his' comfort zone with no regard for mine.

    I am paranoid too that it's obvious how frustrated sexually I am, as in when I go out I feel people can see straight through me!

    Am so torn. :-(


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