puberty went wrong

LegacyUser

Something went terribly wrong at puberty for me. Only one of my breasts grew. I am a C cup on one side and completely flat chested on the other side. I hide it by wearing mastectomy bras (bought online) and filling the empty side with padding and 'chicken fillets' - those type of bra inserts.

Went to the doctor once when I was a young teenager and was dismissed. I was told that they would even out. They never did. I am in my late 20s now and never had the courage to go back to my doctor about it.

Most of the time I have a positive outlook about it all, but there are times when it does get me down. I think things like:
What the hell happened during puberty?
Why did every other girl grow nice even bosoms?
What happened to me? Why didn't it happen to anyone else?
What caused it? What did I do wrong?

I'm going through one of these low moods now. It doesn't happen often but I do feel down about it. Last week I was out and about and my bra broke. I tried to mend it in the jacks but couldn't. Was no where near a shop that sold bras. I had to go about wearing no bra. The difference was noticable. Walked past a group of young lads and they all laughed and sniggered. Heard one of them say: look at the tit on her. Was never so embarrassed.

Had an arguement with a now ex friend a few years back and she said something terrible about my breasts during the arguement but to this day what she said has still remained with me.

The lack of a breast affects relationships in that I cannot get close to a member of the opposite sex in fear that I would have to tell him this horrible secret. I only ever had one boyfriend. I can't and don't want to get physically close to another man.

Have done some researching. I have recently learned about a new procedure that was developed in japan or china, where breasts enlargement surgery can be done, not with implants but with fat from other areas of the body. The procedure could be available in the uk from next year. I want to get this done and I feel it would be suitable for me because it would be a one off procedure where as with implants it would have to be done every 10 years. It could cost up to 10,000 euro. Not to mention taking time off work for recovery reasons.

My problem is money. I grew up on boderline poverty in a one parent family with 5 other siblings. It is only within the past few years that I am on my feet, working and earning a wage. Although I have a job and one that I like, it does not pay too well. I have little savings. My wages are spent on living: rent, car, bills, food. I try to save every week even if it is just 50 euro. If I was to take out a loan I would be years paying it off. If I had 10,000 saved, as much as I want and need such a cosmetic procedure, I'd prefer to put it towards a mortgage. Would a medical card cover such a procedure? Or health insurance?

Where do I start? Do I need to go to my GP. Have always wanted to bring this up with my GP since I was 16 but never had the courage to. Would I look silly now, in my late 20s saying such a thing to my GP because I'm finished with puberty for a long time.

liah

I'm not sure about Ireland, but in some countries with globalized medical, if you can prove that your breast issue is causing serious emotional damage you can get some or all of the fees covered. Quite clearly you would qualify for that 100%.

I know it's possible in Canada, and I think the UK. You'd have to check further into how it is here, but it's a possibility.

I really hope you get the issue resolved, truly. I can't imagine how awful that must be. Good luck.

opinion guy

I'm sorry to hear your story.

Yes go to your GP. Look before thinking of surgery they may need to do tests and so-on to try and figure out the cause. Don't worry about looking silly - in fact i would say you should tell them they dismissed your concerns when you were 16. Anyhow - if you want to go down the surgery route, you need to get yourself into the system now as it takes a while to organise all these things.

I'm not sure but the treatment purchase fund thingy might cover this to send you to uk, but you'll have to start workign the system to find out and build your case etc etc. They will probably want you to see several specialists, but first stop is the GP who should be able to advise re medical cards etc etc

Darthhoob

in the UK you most certainly would qualify for surgery...i've known people get surgery on their breats for 'simpler' reasons (all emotional mind). i don't know how you would go about getting it done over here though (am in the UK) but maybe your doctor will know.

like another poster has said, you really should go to the doctor, there is obviously a reason why this has happened..and you want to know why...before you have surgery. plus it is important for the doctors to know that this is possible, and that they didn't take you seriously when they should have.

LegacyUser

I agree, you REALLY need to go and find out why this happened, and shop the GP concerned that it CAN happen and is a significant problem.

I actually think that you need this fully checked to find out the cause and prognosis before you even consider breast surgery...but when you DO consider it, it seems to me that they are already offering this adistem surgery in Thailand, just not widely, in a year's time it will, no doubt, be widely available, and cost a lot less than 10,000 euros.

Idea:

Why not find a part time job...anything, even addressing envelopes...and put all the money away towards an op?

It will give you less free time for social situations that eat into your self esteem, and if you CAN get the operation funded somehow, you can always blow that money on dressing up for your brilliant new bod.

I so feel for you in this.

LegacyUser

opinion guy wrote: »

Don't worry about looking silly - in fact i would say you should tell them they dismissed your concerns when you were 16.

OP here, Thanks for the replies. I actually went to the doctor at 13 with this problem, and thats when he dismissed my concern. He never explained anything. Just told me that they would even out. I wanted to go back to my doctor ever since the age of 16, which was a different doctor by this stage, but I never did in the fear of being dismissed again.

I am not going to lie here. I don't think I am suffering from depression because of this problem. As I said in my first post I like to keep a positive perspective on it all. However it does get me down from time to time. Very rarely that I feel down about it and the low mood never lasts for long when I do feel miserable about it. I'm certainly not going to lie to doctors and tell them stuff that I am constantly depressed because of my breasts issue (or the lack of one) in the hope of getting free cosmetic surgery.

Will go my GP sometime soon about it and hope he can help me and put me in the right direction regarding surgery and where to start. Heres hoping the HSE will cover the costs.

dudara

I can see why the doctor told you not to worry when you were 13. At that stage, your body would have been growing in spurts and stages.

However, once you turned the corner in adulthood, you should really have visited the doctor again. Having such asymmetry in your figure can be the root of real mental anguish and I would immediately visit your GP, explaining how you feel about this.

Best of luck.

Overheal

Of course the american way would be to file a huge lawsuit against a fast food chain for using hormone-enriched foods but for the rest of the world yes, i would at least go with the obvious mental anguish and try to get something sorted out through your health insurance options.

scuby

if you have private Health insurance, call the insurer, they may cover breast agumentation, when there is such a difference in size. afaik they cover reductions subject to conditions, but worth a try !

LegacyUser

scuby wrote: »

if you have private Health insurance, call the insurer, they may cover breast agumentation, when there is such a difference in size. afaik they cover reductions subject to conditions, but worth a try !

I don't have health insurance? Would it be worth getting health insurance.

Thanks for talking me into going to my GP. I'll be going to my GP within the next few weeks, next time I'm free really. I feel daft bringing up such a subject 10 years or so after puberty. Dear God, help me! What will I say to him?

Somebody mentioned getting a part time job to start saving more money. Thats a very good idea. unfortunately I can't due to working long hours. Theres also a few more different reasons I cannot get a part time job. Rather not say but very good reasons all the same.

LegacyUser

Not sure if it be worth getting insurance as they usually won't cover something if it is pre-existing.

Definitly agree need to see a GP but if you really feel strange you could go to a new one someone different, you might feel more comfortable with a female GP, just a suggestion.

LegacyUser

Hi OP,

Would just like to say you're not the only one this happens too. I knew a girl growing up who only developed on one side, due to curvature of the spine. The curvature got corrected but not the breast. Also it is quite common for girls to only grow on one side at puberty (this even happens to boys sometimes at that age) but it usually will correct itself, I've heard.

Of course, for some reason this hasn't happened. So I would suggest going to doctor and yes, do say you are depressed. Why not? Ok so you have a positive mental attitude and you don't want to be dishonest but you have a responsibility to yourself to do whatever it takes to get the appropriate treatment that you should have got years ago. I'm surprised your mother didn't push more on your behalf.

If that doesn't work, open a credit union account. Bung in any money you have. After three months you are entitled to borrow three times the amount you have in there. In fact, you could even just throw in a months salary and take it out again, as part of the loan, the next day. You may be entitled to tax rebates for medical stuff (therefore all the more important to pose this as a serious issue to your doc, not just a cosmetic one). You're only twenty nine, you still have alot of time to sort out that mortgage. Get proactive about this now. Good luck.

LegacyUser

Op I know exactly what you are going through.. My right breast was 3 full cupsizes larger than the other it affected me from my teens and gave me awful hang ups about myself.

I couldnt bear to look at myself never mind have a relationship of any sort.. I can imagine the horror you felt when your bra strap broke things like that were a nightmare for me

I went back to the doc when I was 21 and he referred me to James hospital for an appointment with a specialist when I went I showed her my breasts.. I litreally broke down I was in an awful state no one had ever seen them apart from me.. I was put on a waiting list (I was offered a reduction on the bigger one or a implant on the smaller one) I opted for the reduction as it was nothing to do with vanity I just wanted to feel normal.

6 Months later I received my appointment I was brought in for the operation and I have never looked back. It was an extremly painful op and will take a good while to heal and I was left with scarring on one breast but they are perfect to me

As there was such a difference in the size and I had the procedure done in James there was no cost.

Boyfriends have never commented on them and ive never had to explain why I have a scar
(theres not much of a scar now) and I love every bit of whats left! if they did you can always say its because of a cyst operation or something..

8 years on and no longer do I feel like a freak I can wear whatever I want and feel great because of it.

The reason mine grew differantly is because I have PCOS this caused a major hormonal imbalance and affected my breast and hair growth( not to mention weight gain and possably fertility) its a constant battle but after having this operation I am a new woman!

Get to your GP and explain how this is affecting your life if they wont listen please find a GP that will..All you need is a referral from your doc the hospital will then decide if you are eligble for the op ( when i was in hospital the nurse said they had 1 girl a week in for this procedure)

Dont be embarressed you are not alone xxx

hope this helps and best of luck

scuby

op.justtheone wrote: »

I don't have health insurance? Would it be worth getting health insurance.

as it's a pre-existing condition, you would have to wait 5 years, so that would not be of any use to you.

As the other posters said go to your GP, or a new GP and talk to them, you may be thinking about it too much and building it up in your mind. The GP may have come across it before and put you at ease about the whole thing.

let us know how you get on...best of luck

opinion guy

Great post myexperience

myexperience wrote: »

As there was such a difference in the size and I had the procedure done in James there was no cost.

Yes I would suspect that this woudl be the case for you too OP. OP just go see a doc, tell them the backstory and that it sometimes affects your life. do take this step

username123

OP - can only echo what other posters have said here, wonderful post from myexperience.

Absolutely go to your GP, do not feel any embarrassment, GPs see everything, they aremedical people interested in solving medical problems. I can understand the doctors reaction when you were 13, sometimes these things do resove but now you are long past puberty and have a physical problem for which a solution exists.

I would think as this is causing emotional distress you will be eligible to have it done on the public health service. You wont know til you go and ask.

On the private side of things you would have to pay to either have a reduction on one side or enlargement on the other, its expensive though which is no use to you right now.

Please dont feel bad about this, its a normal problem, it happens. A doctor will understand. It affects your self esteem and attitude towards developing a relationship and procreating, a doctor will take this very seriously indeed.

LegacyUser

Hi OP,

sorry to hear this has been effecting you for so long of your life, it really is time now for you to make yourself happy.I'm so close to tears having read your post as I know your pain.

For what it's worth I had free plastic surgery when I was a teen, not my breasts but I did grow up with a deformed ear that I'd hide with my hair.

So I went to my GP as this was such an issue for me , he asked one simple question "Do you think about this (my ear ) during your day to day life?"

I answered of course, it's a huge issue for me and he told me straight away that because it was having an impact on my daily life I could go on a waiting list for a free Operation,under mental health grounds (yeah sounds a bit mad but I knew what he was on about) and he listed me onto a public waiting list for a cosmetic surgeon in St James's.

The treatment was 100% free (and our family could never have afforded it) and I now have two identical ears I have never stopped smiling since.

I know how this can get you down, don't let it waste another day of life and pop down to see your GP , there are free procedures that the state pays for.

Best of luck , I hope this is the last day that this is a problem for you ,

C