Orientation, fixed?

Filan

Do others here feel that many people are fluid in their sexuality, both inside and outside of the Gay community?. By that I mean do you feel that you or many others are capable of being attracted to either sex depending on the circumstances and person?......I think a lot of non-gay identifying people, often in healthy heterosexual relationships are capable of developing/have repressed/conditioned out homosexual/bisexual tendencies, have met a few such people and am to a certain extent fluid myself. What do others think. is there bisexual tendencies in possibly even a majority of people, not necessarily attracted to both genders in equal measure but capable of both?. I don't believe in that many fixed points.

Dwn Wth Vwls

The Kinsey Reports from 1948 and 1953 would agree with you They were shocking at the time, that so many people had had some sort of same-sex experience.

L1011

I know many people who have or have had a very fluid sexuality at times in their life, its not at all uncommon I'd suspect. Ranging from experimentation through to going with whoever they love regardless of gender (believe Nuala O'Faoilan had a quote on this).

KnifeWRENCH

I'm not sure about a majority but I definitely think a lot of people have a fluid sexuality and possible bisexual tendencies. (Then again, I'm bi myself so that notion comes naturally to me anyway. :pac:) Like obviously I understand people identifying as heterosexual or homosexual, but personally I'd surprised if the majority of the population were either 100% straight or 100% gay.

I read somewhere on this forum recently a post that said something like:
"Everyone is x% attracted to the opposite sex.
Everyone is (100 - x)% attracted to the same sex."

I like that idea partially because I'm a big maths nerd but mainly because the value of x varies from person to person, and there's no fixed value so it's a pretty good formula.

Nebit

im believe no1 is one way or the other. we just have prefrences mine to would be men even tho im bi because of some reasons, for example, i find men better in relationships because its not all one sided but thats my opinion:D .

Zee Deveel

I'd agree that there is probably a certain degree of fluidity with a large percentage of the population, though whether that is acknowledged or acted on by most of those people is another thing.

I think it is becoming more acceptable to act on/express sexuality like this... I don't know how many times I've heard people complaining about emos being bi because it's 'cool'. Always seemed to me that they were just able to act upon their feelings because it was socially acceptable within their group. Though maybe I'm just projecting a little, as I wasn't in one of those groups

Personally, I'm mostly attracted to males, but there have been several females in my life who I've fallen head over heels for, only to completely chicken out of ever expressing my feelings, for fear of... well, rejection, being laughed at, rumour spreading and the like. (Not saying it's all that likely, but I was certainly afraid of the possibility of it).

My partner would deny being anything but straight, YET, has had some rather tongue-y kisses with other guys on many occasions. (Nope, I don't quite understand that one either, so don't bother asking :pac:).

Filan

Yes I think it's not acknwoledged and possibly feared by a most people, I mean bi-tendencies could be unsettling, because it isn't socially that acceptable to admit to such or if one is in a relationship it could unsettle the partner.

I'm attracted to people not genders,although I usually prefer women. I inhabit a male body but am not very masculine.

A university lecturer said that she believes everyone is capable of being attracted to someone of the same sex, not everyone will be but that everyone could. Maybe everyone is a bit strong, but think there is a lot of unacknowledged bi people.

shoegirl

Yes, I most definitely think so, both from my own past experience and that of others. It is an awful lot easier socially to fix to one or other gender. I know locally the lesbian community where I live are deeply hostile in practice to bi women (though they will constantly deny that). Its regarded as being a bit "flighty" I think.

AssaultedPeanut

I've always said I think everyone has a tendency to be bi, just some people are terrified to admit it.
I'd agree with the above, lesbians often see bisexuality as being greedy yet expect other's to be completely accepting of their orientation?!! I can't imagine attitudes like that, from what would be considered a minority group, would instill much confidence in people who may want to share/explore their bisexual experiences.
So I believe there's a very large grey area there in regards to bisexuality and the fact that it appears to be more prevalent than most would think.

I find myself attracted to women mostly, but have had the occasional thing for a guy or 2 in my life and quite often with famous guys.

jady88

I'm sure that it is possible, however it has never happened for me, I've never had the sexual 'spark' for any woman. Also I think the idea that everyone is bi is just as silly as everyone being straight, hard and fast rules do not exist in relation to sexuality.

Zee Deveel

Filan wrote: »

I'm attracted to people not genders,although I usually prefer women. I inhabit a male body but am not very masculine.

That's me. Exactly. Just swap all the genders in that sentence.

Dinxminx

I would consider myself pansexual. And no, I don't think that orientation is fixed.

Cabbage Brained

Well I can say now with 100% certainty that anybody who says "everybody is a little bit bi" is wrong. I'm 100% attracted to members of the same sex, and have never had any attraction whatsoever to women. I don't find the idea of sex with them repulsive, I'm just absolutely indifferent to it. I'm about as turned on by the ironing board in my sitting room which just caught my eye. Having sex with the ironing board doesn't repulse me, but it just seems absolutely pointless.

These conversations always remind me how limited we are as human beings to see the world from other peoples' perspectives. It's either gays saying true bis don't exist, or bis saying true gays don't exist etc etc. As human beings, we always transpose our own feelings/ emotions/ views on to others, assuming that because we think or feel a certain way then everyone else must too. It's a real measure of our arrogance as a species that we assume our primitive minds can explain away the vast complexity of human nature with a one fits all rule.

Everyone is different. To use knifeWRENCH's example, X can be any number between 0 and 100, and will remain fixed for some throughout life, but for others it will change. Surely the testimony of the various people on this thread alone should be enough to prove this to everybody.