That time of the month.. a guy's perspective.

Mr Benevolent

21 days of the month she's fantastic. Yore ma I mean, just to get the joke in early.So it's that time again. I've tried being extra nice. I've tried making her dinner. I've tried making her make the dinner. None of it works. Sex is out of the question, and 'The Red Menace' (as she calls it) looms large over us both. How do you usually deal with a girlfriend/wife who is transiting a certain period of the month? Savage beatings don't work btw.

Tubberadora

Lick her out.

watna

If it annoys you that much secretly give her shots of depo provera. It stops her getting knocked up but also stops your periods so you don't have them any more. Win win for you! There may be side effects but sure, you can just tell her she's imagining them.

phasers

Give her a crate of chocolate and just leave her the hell alone

WindSock

Richard Jeni explains it best. (RIP)

Gummy Panda

Put a towel on the bed. Problem solved

That_Guy

Get the hell out of the house!!!

Lollipops23

Just be ok with the fact that everything you do/say/believe/imply etc is wrong!!

That_Guy

Lollipops23 wrote: »

Just be ok with the fact that everything you do/say/believe/imply etc is wrong!!

So for a week or so the earth is flat.

mikom

Periods..... What a bloody waste of time.

That_Guy

mikom wrote: »

Periods..... What a bloody waste of time.

And it makes women believe that they can get away with anything and make them feel more superior than men.

Well if you're so superior then why haven't you come up with a way to stop the bleeding?

Lollipops23

That_Guy wrote: »

So for a week or so the earth is flat.

pretty much. also, try to remember how exhausting it is for us to go from depressed to ecstatic to horny to confused 30 times a day. it's tiring!!

Mr Benevolent

watna wrote: »

secretly give her shots of depo provera. It stops her getting knocked up but also stops your periods so you don't have them any more. Win win for you! There may be side effects but sure, you can just tell her she's imagining them.

Great idea, I'll do that.

That_Guy

Lollipops23 wrote: »

pretty much. also, try to remember how exhausting it is for us to go from depressed to ecstatic to horny to confused 30 times a day. it's tiring!!

Ah yes. Depressed in the knowledge that you may not get any that day. Ecstatic when you realise that I'm coming over to visit. Horny because I have arrived at your door wearing nothing but a smile. Confused that my penis is too small. Then you're depressed again.

Vicious circle.


*BTW my penis is bleedin' massive.

wudangclan

That_Guy wrote: »

*BTW my penis is bleedin' massive.

btw.
beside the weener?

That_Guy

wudangclan wrote: »

btw.
beside the weener?

Beside the wudangclan my penis is massive.

So I suppose beside the weener is correct too.

Rabies

shower sex.

Gummy Panda

Rabies wrote: »

shower sex.

Ah.. Recreate the opening scene from carrie as a couple

brendansmith

watna wrote: »

If it annoys you that much secretly give her shots of depo provera. It stops her getting knocked up but also stops your periods so you don't have them any more. Win win for you! There may be side effects but sure, you can just tell her she's imagining them.

Confab wrote: »

Great idea, I'll do that.

Yes and then instead of a moody girlfriend you will have a frantic girlfriend urinating all over prenancy tests driving you mental.

Mr. Incognito

A Guys perspective of periods.

Well it's starts with a pointing at your lady and then the following......

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA

Now I'm off to the pub.

mudokon

Nothing much you can do barring emigration but PMS Buddy will at least let you know when it is time to look for your passport.

AckwelFoley

during period time she turns into a bleedin cnut.

Nodin

That_Guy wrote: »

Get the hell out of the house!!!

Jaysus no. Thats medieval.









Put her out of the house. Out the back, in a wee hut, with a phone where she can shite on to her mates.....

LimeFruitGum

Oh it is a piece of cake, so they are.
All you get are, abdominal cramps, back ache, mood swings, mineral deficiencies, bloating, sore boobs, no nookie, and then it happens all over again next month, yay!!!

mudokon

LimeFruitGum wrote: »

Oh it is a piece of cake, so they are.
All you get are, abdominal cramps, back ache, mood swings, mineral deficiencies, bloating, sore boobs, no nookie, and then it happens all over again next month, yay!!!

That's a lot of issues from a guy's perspective, all I ever get is earache. :P

Gummy Panda

LimeFruitGum wrote: »

Oh it is a piece of cake, so they are.
All you get are, abdominal cramps, back ache, mood swings, mineral deficiencies, bloating, sore boobs, no nookie, and then it happens all over again next month, yay!!!

We have already covered this part. Put a towel on the bed.. seriously, its not that hard.

Kiera

Gummy Panda wrote: »

We have already covered this part. Put a towel on the bed.. seriously, its not that hard.

Now cover the parts which you get nothing out of!

Gummy Panda

Kiera wrote: »

Now cover the parts which you get nothing out of!

most of the rest can be eased by soothing massages and making her a nice meal.

sore boobs - lets get in the bath and soap them up
bloated - lets rub your belly
back ache - lets grab some massage oil for it.

Kiera

Gummy Panda wrote: »

most of the rest can be eased by soothing massages and making her a nice meal.

sore boobs - lets get in the bath and soap them up
bloated - lets rub your belly
back ache - lets grab some massage oil for it.

The last thing i want is for someone touching me. But that might be just me.

Gummy Panda

There's no pleasing some people...

netwhizkid

Just be nice to her and give the space and privacy she requires, it is a personal affair and they should be left to handle it normally.

Cheer yourself up with this joke!

A young guy from Alberta moves to Vancouver and goes to a big "everything under one roof" department store looking for a job.

The Manager says, "Do you have any sales experience?"

The kid says "Yeah. I was a salesman back in Alberta ."

Well, the boss liked the kid and gave him the job. "You start tomorrow. I'll come down after we close and see how you did. His first day on the job was rough, but he got through it. After the store was locked up, the boss came down. "How many customers bought something from you today?

The kid says "one".

The boss says "Just one? Our sales people average 20 to 30 customers a day. How much was the sale for?"

The kid says "$101,237.65".

The boss says "$101,237.65? What the heck did you sell?"

The kid says, "First, I sold him a small fish hook. Then I sold him a medium fishhook. Then I sold him a larger fishhook.

Then I sold him a new fishing rod. Then I asked him where he was going fishing and he said down the coast, so I told him he was going to need a boat, so we went down to the boat department and I sold him a twin engine Chris Craft. Then he said he didn't think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I took him down to the automotive department and sold him that 4x4 Expedition."

The boss said "A guy came in here to buy a fish hook and you sold him a BOAT and a TRUCK?"

The kid said "No, the guy came in here to buy Tampons for his wife, and I said, "Dude, your weekend's shot. You should go fishing."

Keogg

Kiera wrote: »

The last thing i want is for someone touching me. But that might be just me.

I think that might be just you, I love a nice massage if my back/stomach is killing me...
although maybe thats just me:pac:

Crumble Froo

massage is bloody good. and ive had this conversation with enough women to know that im not the only one who gets ridiculously horny at the one time that himself's terrified to go near ya too :pac:

Keogg

Crumble Froo wrote: »

massage is bloody good. and ive had this conversation with enough women to know that im not the only one who gets ridiculously horny at the one time that himself's terrified to go near ya too :pac:

yeah its killer, typical men :rolleyes:

LaMortis

Lads! I discovered the best cure for that, although you have to face a 2-hour sacrifice: Go out to a DVD shop or Xtra Vision and get a cheesy sh*tty rom-com like "27 dresses" or "made of honour". Something with a happy ending in it. Watch it with her. Because she's emotional she cries it all out and you don't have to worry about anything after that.
Works all the time for me, to the point that my bf is used to watching rom coms with me.

Crumble Froo

works for some, perhaps. but sometimes, watching sad thigns... just makes me sadder. and consequently, crankier.


you know where it goes from tehre...

Keogg

Yeah i think i might have to agree with CrumbleFroo on that one... i'd probably have to watch something hilarious, but then laughing too much would probably only hurt my stomach more...

Wow, guys really cant win this one!:pac:

LaMortis

Keogg wrote: »

Wow, guys really cant win this one!:pac:

Ah they deserve it! :D:D

LimeFruitGum

Gummy Panda wrote: »

most of the rest can be eased by soothing massages and making her a nice meal.

sore boobs - lets get in the bath and soap them up
bloated - lets rub your belly
back ache - lets grab some massage oil for it.

Now see, that is how you handle it, boys.