Stray dog in house!

D-A-V-E

i was watching a film and when i walked into my kitchen this wet, smelly, dirty, no tail maingy dog was just there staring at me, he absolutely stinks! he is very vicious and everytime i enter the kitchen he starts running at the door to attack me! what do i do?! my parents and family are away, i think he jumped into the kitchen window..i burned dinner earlier and there was smoke everywhere so i opened it

Borneo Fnctn

Call a big strong man to help you.
Seriously though, you'd want to be careful of a stray.

January

If he's vicious, the Gardai. That or leave the front door + kitchen door open and hide upstairs and hope he leaves.

MagicMarker

DSPCA?

My name is URL

Start hoovering and freak him out

caseyann

He sounds scared and could be hungry,either open the doors and see if you can lure out with food or ring the emergency line for dog warden or you could ring your local garda station tell them and they might be able to get dog warden out faster.He hasnt bit you is good sign if he wanted to he would have already.
Poor thing and poor you

brummytom

What's with the loose animals in AH?!

G_R

leave a trail of food to outside the front door, then close it behind him.

be sure to go into the kitchen then and close the window before he gets back in again

WeWillBeReborn

Christ, we have one thread about a mouse in a sink, now a dog in the kitchen? What's next, a tramp in the closet?

Anyway yeah, DSPCA sounds like your best bet

WIZE

Send it to this guys house

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2055720090

pebbles21

Ill call your stray dog and raise you two mice!:D

Sharpshooter

D-A-V-E wrote: »

i was watching a film and when i walked into my kitchen this wet, smelly, dirty, no tail maingy dog was just there staring at me, he absolutely stinks! he is very vicious and everytime i enter the kitchen he starts running at the door to attack me! what do i do?! my parents and family are away, i think he jumped into the kitchen window..i burned dinner earlier and there was smoke everywhere so i opened it

Open your hall door, then open the kitchen door and stand behind it.

He should make a run for it as he probably wants out anyway.

Saibh

brummytom wrote: »

What's with the loose animals in AH?!

Must have something to do with the witching hour we are going to gain later.



Ring a friend or ask a neighbour to call into you

WeWillBeReborn

brummytom wrote: »

What's with the loose animals in AH?!

WeWillBeReborn wrote: »

Christ, we have one thread about a mouse in a sink, now a dog in the kitchen? What's next, a tramp in the closet?

Anyway yeah, DSPCA sounds like your best bet

BVB wrote: »

Send it to this guys house

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2055720090

pebbles21 wrote: »

Ill call your stray dog and raise you two mice!:D

Great minds think alike :rolleyes:

D-A-V-E

i peeped my head in..ALL the plates that were on the worktop are now on the floor..there is at least two sh!ts on the floor and he is now on the kitchen table eating a plate mat

Sea Sharp

Piss all over the hall carpet to let him know it's your territory.

claireloopy

D-A-V-E wrote: »

i peeped my head in..ALL the plates that were on the worktop are now on the floor..there is at least two sh!ts on the floor and he is now on the kitchen table eating a plate mat

what the hell? just call someone!!!

Hard Larry

D-A-V-E wrote: »

i peeped my head in..ALL the plates that were on the worktop are now on the floor..there is at least two sh!ts on the floor and he is now on the kitchen table eating a plate mat

Its his house now dude, you'd better leave.

take an umbrella its wet out there.

Ally Dick

caseyann wrote: »

ring the emergency line for dog warden (

I believe there are only FOUR of these in the whole of Ireland :eek:

WeWillBeReborn

If he's a stray he's probably just happy to get some heat and shelter, he won't be going anywhere without a fight. You'll need the professionals to get rid of him

caseyann

D-A-V-E wrote: »

i peeped my head in..ALL the plates that were on the worktop are now on the floor..there is at least two sh!ts on the floor and he is now on the kitchen table eating a plate mat

You are taking the mick now lmao If he is doing that feed him
P.S show no fear and no aggression and no eye contact at all they see as threat if already scared and sounds like treated bad.

WIZE

He doesn't think much of your house if he **** ( Not once but twice ) on your floor

January

Ring the Gardai. Tell them he's been vicious towards you and tried to bite you already. (Maybe a lie, but they'll only make you a priority if you're in danger) they'll have to send someone out. Especially if there's no dog warden about.

Sharpshooter

D-A-V-E wrote: »

i peeped my head in..ALL the plates that were on the worktop are now on the floor..there is at least two sh!ts on the floor and he is now on the kitchen table eating a plate mat

Did you open both doors?

Gummy Panda

LMAO!!

Get a mope and scare it out. just make sure it doesn't bite you or its a trip to the doctors for shots

WIZE

Take a photo and post it in the Thread so we know its not a chihuahua

fletch...

try make it feel confortable, give hime some grub and somewhere quiet to sleep, thats all he wants, but if he gets aggressive then punch the head off it!!!

and before the hippies start - yes i am a dog lover (not in that sence you pervs lol)

January

Gummy Panda wrote: »

LMAO!!

Get a mope and scare it out. just make sure it doesn't bite you or its a trip to the doctors for shots

What's a mope?

Mint Sauce

go out your front door, jump the garden wall into your garden, hopefully he'll come out the way he came in,

hang on, but then you have the problem of a him being in the garden with you

mmm, need to think this through again

Gummy Panda

adrieanne__x wrote: »

What's a mope?

Male porn actor, often less known.

Some call them "mopes", but the male performers who do some of the dirtiest work in porn -- the blow-bangs, the pile-ups, the spuzz-athons - are more than meatsticks with a cel phone.

Dogs fear them!

caseyann

irish-stew wrote: »

go out your front door, jump the gardem wall into your garden, hopefully he'll come out the why he came in,

hang on, but then you have the problem of a him being in the garden with you

mmm, need to think this through again

Lmao

Sharpshooter

OP has gone offline.

I wonder if he's in the doghouse.

caseyann

Sharpshooter wrote: »

OP has gone offline.

I wonder if he's in the doghouse.

I was just about to say the dog has chewed the connection so he cant get help:( We are talking werewolf :eek:

Mint Sauce

Sharpshooter wrote: »

OP has gone offline.

I wonder if he's in the doghouse.

no, the dogs in his house

Jumpy

It probably ate the ADSL box.

Sharpshooter

caseyann wrote: »

We are talking werewolf :eek:

<_<

>_>

Where wolf?

irish-stew wrote: »

no, the dogs in his house

All he had to say way he brought a dog home and doesn't know how to get rid.

WIZE

Must have had the beer googles on and is starting to sober up

Mint Sauce

Sharpshooter wrote: »

All he had to say way he brought a dog home and doesn't know how to get rid.

suppose it will save having any uncomfortablness (is that a word) in the morning

K-9

GaNjaHaN wrote: »

Piss all over the hall carpet to let him know it's your territory.

Ah, but the Kitchens mine!

df1985

that shakira song about the wolf in the closet came to mind reading this thread!

artanevilla

This is the most hilarious thing I've heard in a long time.

ScumLord

D-A-V-E wrote: »

i was watching a film and when i walked into my kitchen this wet, smelly, dirty, no tail maingy dog was just there staring at me, he absolutely stinks! he is very vicious and everytime i enter the kitchen he starts running at the door to attack me! what do i do?! my parents and family are away, i think he jumped into the kitchen window..i burned dinner earlier and there was smoke everywhere so i opened it

The human animal is the greatest predator the world has ever witnessed. Dogs eat their own poo. Kill it, kill it now, if only to prove your a man.

claireloopy

What did he take??

caseyann

Looks like OP got devoured

D-A-V-E

i didnt record it because i was trying to come up with an ingenious plan but i promise i will next time something like that happens!

in the end a couple of knackers called to the door wondering if it was here because they were setting off fireworks in the green next door and i think the dog got scared, i said he has eaten half the kitchen and demanded i took the rest of their fireworks as a compensation, so got 2 big cilendrical looking fireworks and a couple long ones out of them..and a huge mess in the kitchen! all thanks to the scumbags, funny cos i was actually wearing my ballaclava and gloves when they called around cos i was outside every now and then thinking of an escape route for 'the monster' so i think they were a bit intimidated! (it was freezing cold and wet so i just picked it up..not really a thief!)

The_Minister

D-A-V-E wrote: »

...eaten half the kitchen and demanded i took the rest of their fireworks as a compensation, so got 2 big cilendrical looking fireworks and a couple long ones out of them..and a huge mess in the kitchen! all thanks to the scumbags, ...

cylindrical.
Sorry, but it was hurting.

jumpguy

Yeah, there's a stray dog in your kitchen. Sure. I believe you. I really do. I mean, don't bother posting pictures, like the mouse one, you don't have time for that!

Throw your laptop at the dog and do us all a favour.

D-A-V-E

sorry i know, i knew there was a y in it somewhere

citizen_p

get a cat and put it in yourback garden.....

and tie it too a tree so it wont just runaway