What Do you Think About Carrying Condoms.

Jood

Hi Girls & Guys

After listening to the G Ryan show this morning and nosing on AH I decided that I'd post here because I would be interested in all opinions. The discussion was about all sorts of contraception but when the topic turned to condoms the general consensus was that girls dont carry condoms cos they don't want to be thought of as a slut.

Now I wouldn't consider myself a slut but I always have my own supply, wouldn't want to give up on some sexy time because we didn't have any.

What do you think..??

Vinta81

I do, but I don't say it to anyone, if I need it's there. My friend didn't have one the last time, I did. He was surprised I had one, but I don't believe in the whole "oh men are the ones who have to have them, it's their responsibility". It's both our responsibilty to be careful.

Call me a slut, but you won't be calling me a pregnant one

MissFlitworth

Vinta81 wrote: »

Call me a slut, but you won't be calling me a pregnant one

+1

and also, hehehehe

Snowie

Vinta81 wrote: »

I do, but I don't say it to anyone, if I need it's there. My friend didn't have one the last time, I did. He was surprised I had one, but I don't believe in the whole "oh men are the ones who have to have them, it's their responsibility". It's both our responsibilty to be careful.

Call me a slut, but you won't be calling me a pregnant one

Your not a slut because your prepared dib dib :P
I wouldnt think anything if a girl said here you go Id go sweet
I think less if she said its ok you dont need one :eek: Id make a bee line for the balconey, Me no wants any of those funky freeky std/sti's

France is great theres condom machines at every chemist its dead handy but usueally its a drunken strole there and back again and 3 condoms cost 2 euros

Vinta81

Snow-Monkey wrote: »

Your not a slut because your prepared dib dib :P
I wouldnt think anything if a girl said here you go Id go sweet
I think less if she said its ok you dont need one :eek: Id make a bee line for the balconey, Me no wants any of those funky freeky std/sti's

France is great theres condom machines at every chemist its dead handy but usueally its a drunken strole there and back again and 3 condoms cost 2 euros

Condoms should be more accessible here I think, I also don't think it's something to be embarrassed about buying.

Oh if a guy didn't want to use one, the door my dear is that way >>>>>

Snowie

Vinta81 wrote: »

Condoms should be more accessible here I think, I also don't think it's something to be embarrassed about buying.

Oh if a guy didn't want to use one, the door my dear is that way >>>>>

I agree but unfortunatly that will take some time to sort out

IvyTheTerrible

Snow-Monkey wrote: »

Your not a slut because your prepared dib dib :P
I wouldnt think anything if a girl said here you go Id go sweet
I think less if she said its ok you dont need one :eek: Id make a bee line for the balconey, Me no wants any of those funky freeky std/sti's

France is great theres condom machines at every chemist its dead handy but usueally its a drunken strole there and back again and 3 condoms cost 2 euros

Yeah, they have the machines outside...which must be handy for middle-of-the-night emergencies...I don't think that would work in Ireland, the machines would get vandalised.

minidazzler

EVERYONE should carry condoms, Males and females, in case the other person forgot them!!!

Condoms are cheap, Babies are expensive.

I usually carry 3, the reasoning, If my friend forgot his I give him 1. Then if I am gonna get some I have 2 tries with the condom, if it won't work then, I don't deserve it or I am too drunk for it.:)

Jood

I have my own supply now because one time whilst with my ex things got hot and heavy and it turned out that he didn't have one. His comment made me laugh tho he said, blowing them up or putting them over my head seemed like such a good idea at the time!!

xcarriex

When I first started going on with my BF, I was cleaning out my purse of reciepts and he seen it, now at this stage we hadnt slept together, and he was asking questions, and I explained that I had been single for a good 2 years, and yes I did have sex with guys and it was at my will, not because I was getting about, I was having fun, He said that he had missed out on sexy time before as girls werent willing to buy condoms and he sure as hell wasn’t having THAT conversation a few months down the line,:eek:
Also my mother found some in my bag (cringe:o) and made it clear, as much as she dis-approves (she is quite a catholic) she was glad too see that I could b responsible at the same time! I don’t think it should be looked at, the way it is, besides any man who made a comment about a woman carrying a condom would be quickly reminded of how happy our vibey friends can make us:rolleyes:

SeekUp

I didn't used to carry condoms, although I would always have plenty back at my place. If I was going to get some lovin' from someone new who I didn't know, it'd be on my turf.

Although I did find myself caught off guard in Dublin once . . . long story short, I had one, but I needed more.

Oh The Humanity

You'd want to be a bit weak minded if you were more worried about being called a slut then getting the clap/Aids/warts or an unwanted kid.

'slut' is a term used to try to negate a woman who can get as much sex as she likes.

I dont recognise the word as being negative, its meaningless.

Snowie

IvyTheTerrible wrote: »

Yeah, they have the machines outside...which must be handy for middle-of-the-night emergencies...I don't think that would work in Ireland, the machines would get vandalised.

two true

taram

I've never really carried any out because I've only ever had sex in bf's house, mine or pre-planned hotel/holiday, but I do carry my pill with me if staying somewhere over night, I got a very negative comment on that once by a guy in my class, he was convinced only the sluttiest of girls went on the pill. :mad: If I was going out with the possibility being there, however small, of having sex, condoms are small little things, can't be too hard to throw a few in your bag!

Jood

I remember one time having a bit of a pregnancy scare when a condom broke. I went into Boots and bought two pregnancy tests, a family size box of condoms and a box of tampax, I swear the woman behind the till thought I was mad, she managed to keep a straight face anyway!!

minidazzler

taram wrote: »

I've never really carried any out because I've only ever had sex in bf's house, mine or pre-planned hotel/holiday, but I do carry my pill with me if staying somewhere over night, I got a very negative comment on that once by a guy in my class, he was convinced only the sluttiest of girls went on the pill. :mad: If I was going out with the possibility being there, however small, of having sex, condoms are small little things, can't be too hard to throw a few in your bag!

What an Idiot. I know most lads don't know much about the pill, I would consider myself as educated as the average woman (I'm a fella, weird i know but still) is about it, but how can he just assume a girl is Slutty because she is on the pill?

On an aside, I am the one who convinced my 15 year old sister to go on the pill, my mam has been trying to do so for a year, but my mam doesn't know much about it. (She's not sleeping with anyone, it's to clear spots and regulate her among other things).

As I said before, everyone, regardless of gender should carry condoms, they are useful simple as. I did get caught out in the past though where I was asked did I have one, I didn't and thinking back I am quite happy I didn't because I didn't want to do anything with that particular girl.

Malari

Jood wrote: »

I remember one time having a bit of a pregnancy scare when a condom broke. I went into Boots and bought two pregnancy tests, a family size box of condoms and a box of tampax, I swear the woman behind the till thought I was mad, she managed to keep a straight face anyway!!

Interesting imagery! :cool:

I used to keep condoms in my bedside drawer, but have been going out with my boyfriend for years now. We just throw them into the trolly when we do the shopping.

I have to say, it never once occurred to me that anyone would think I was a slut for having my own supply. :eek:

minidazzler

Malari wrote: »

I have to say, it never once occurred to me that anyone would think I was a slut for having my own supply. :eek:

A few years ago, OK a year and a bit, I would have been one to think so, I have grown up and stopped been an idiot now though. I did used to think that a girl carrying condoms meant she was "gaggin for it bud". *Shudder* I hate oldd me!!

Mackleton

I absolutely believe that both girls and guys should carry condoms, I mean you can say that a guy might make a smart remark but, you can bet he'd be glad enough to use them when the time came, (if you'll pardon the expression!)

I always carry one out with me, not that I am expressly looking for sex but if it happened by chance, better prepared than sorry nine months later...;) If any guy said anything about it well that's just plain hypocritical and he doesn't deserve to get any in my opinion!

stovelid

Guy carrying them: virile bon viveur

Woman carrying them: hellbound

Orla K

I used to carry around condoms but then I noticed that they were out of date:o. I no longer have any but then again I no longer have use for them:(.

Anyway I don't think they would have got a far amount of the population on that show, how many women that would have sex freely listen to that show. I actually can't imagine anyone that thinks if they carry condoms other people would think of them as sluts.

Anyway what really is a slut? I'm sure most of us here could be called sluts for one thing or another. I know I've done my share of slut like things I also should get back into things and do a whole lot more!

metaoblivia

I don't carry condoms with me, but I don't see anything wrong with women who do carry them.

Kooli

Mackleton wrote: »

I absolutely believe that both girls and guys should carry condoms, I mean you can say that a guy might make a smart remark but, you can bet he'd be glad enough to use them when the time came, (if you'll pardon the expression!)

It wouldn't make a lot of sense for the guy himself to be put out by the girl having a condom.

I think that the crux of it is that a girl carrying a condom means she is ready for casual sex. I don't think anyone would argue with that?

Some people would call that girl a 'slut', others would call her a modern woman who likes sex, others something else. This is where people start to disagree.

So I don't think it makes sense for the guy who she is actually having sex with to be put off by it - after all, he already knows she is interested in casual sex, if that is what they are having. So the condom should be a plus!

I think the issue is what other people might think, rather than the potential partner themselves.

I have never really carried a condom around with me, because I'm not really into one night stands. I have had one or two in the past, and the guy had a condom. If he hadn't, it wouldn't have happened, and no biggie.

minidazzler

Orla K wrote: »

I used to carry around condoms but then I noticed that they were out of date:o. I no longer have any but then again I no longer have use for them:(.

Anyway what really is a slut? I'm sure most of us here could be called sluts for one thing or another. I know I've done my share of slut like things I also should get back into things and do a whole lot more!

Just to fix that, it's that you CURRENTLY don't have use for them, who knows you could have a use for them soon and not be prepared!!!. My advice is always have them, no matter what!!!

I call girls sluts all the time, friends and such as a laugh, when they are in fact quite prudish!!:o

Jood

I would kind of compare it to being on the pill when you dont have a boyfriend. Would you think that someones a slut because they're on the pill (I know there are other reasons to be it on), I wouldn't, it's just being prepared for anything that can happen.

Malari

Kooli wrote: »

I think that the crux of it is that a girl carrying a condom means she is ready for casual sex. I don't think anyone would argue with that?

I have never really carried a condom around with me, because I'm not really into one night stands. I have had one or two in the past, and the guy had a condom. If he hadn't, it wouldn't have happened, and no biggie.

Sorry, but I don't agree with that summation. I've never had a one-night stand (apart from my first time - but that wasn't someone I had never met before).

I carried/had condoms in my bedroom because for part of my early 20s I was on-off with a guy and I could end up with him on a night out. Also I've been in the situation where you have been kissing a guy for several weeks, for example, and you never know what night out you might actually take it further.

Jood

Kooli wrote: »

I think that the crux of it is that a girl carrying a condom means she is ready for casual sex. I don't think anyone would argue with that?

I wouldnt agree with this statement either to be honest. You can be in a relationship and carry condoms, it simply means that you are taking care of your sexual health and not relying on a man to provide protection be it a husband, boyfriend or a one night stand.

Kooli

Malari wrote: »

Sorry, but I don't agree with that summation. I've never had a one-night stand (apart from my first time - but that wasn't someone I had never met before).

I carried/had condoms in my bedroom because for part of my early 20s I was on-off with a guy and I could end up with him on a night out. Also I've been in the situation where you have been kissing a guy for several weeks, for example, and you never know what night out you might actually take it further.

OK but I'd say the examples you gave are similar to girls who have boyfriends carrying a condom - no one would call them 'sluts'.

I would imagine what we're talking about are girls who always carry one no matter what, whether they're seeing someone/kissing someone or not. And whether these girls are seen as 'sluts' (in comparison to blokes who carry around condoms in the same fashion).

And I think condoms in the house are very different. That's just sensible!

Kooli

Jood wrote: »

I wouldnt agree with this statement either to be honest. You can be in a relationship and carry condoms, it simply means that you are taking care of your sexual health and not relying on a man to provide protection be it a husband, boyfriend or a one night stand.

Oh yeah of course I agree with that. As I added above, I mean girls who aren't in a relationship or seeing someone. The only reason I can see that they would be carrying a condom is because they are interested in, or open to, casual sex.

I'm not saying there's anything wrong with that by the way. How you judge that then depends on how you view casual sex.

Malari

Kooli wrote: »

OK but I'd say the examples you gave are similar to girls who have boyfriends carrying a condom - no one would call them 'sluts'.

I would imagine what we're talking about are girls who always carry one no matter what, whether they're seeing someone/kissing someone or not. And whether these girls are seen as 'sluts' (in comparison to blokes who carry around condoms in the same fashion).

And I think condoms in the house are very different. That's just sensible!

Yeah, I know what you're saying but no, I don't think there is any correlation between carrying condoms and being a slut.

Same as no correlation between being on the pill while single and being a slut.

Kooli

Malari wrote: »

Yeah, I know what you're saying but no, I don't think there is any correlation between carrying condoms and being a slut.

Same as no correlation between being on the pill while single and being a slut.

Yes, I agree with you.

What I think makes this debate confusing is that there are so many ways of looking at it, and the response of 'she's a slut' or 'she's not a slut' doesn't actually make clear which one we mean.

Like for example: if you say 'No, it doesn't make her a slut' you could mean because

a) it doesn't necessarily mean she's into casual sex - there could be other reasons (like examples given of someone having on/off relationships)

or because

b) she could be open to casual sex, but this doesn't mean she is a slut

The fact that people are rushing to this hypothetical girl's defence giving other reasons why she might be carrying a condom is very telling I think....

Malari

Kooli wrote: »

Yes, I agree with you.

What I think makes this debate confusing is that there are so many ways of looking at it, and the response of 'she's a slut' or 'she's not a slut' doesn't actually make clear which one we mean.

Like for example: if you say 'No, it doesn't make her a slut' you could mean because

a) it doesn't necessarily mean she's into casual sex - there could be other reasons (like examples given of someone having on/off relationships)

or because

b) she could be open to casual sex, but this doesn't mean she is a slut

The fact that people are rushing to this hypothetical girl's defence giving other reasons why she might be carrying a condom is very telling I think....

OK, I see the confusion. Fondness for casual sex does not a slut make, in my opinion. Likewise, carrying condoms is not a good indicator of fondness for casual sex. No more than carrying a credit card everywhere implies a tendency to impulse shop for expensive items.

Orla K

Kooli wrote: »

Yes, I agree with you.

What I think makes this debate confusing is that there are so many ways of looking at it, and the response of 'she's a slut' or 'she's not a slut' doesn't actually make clear which one we mean.

Like for example: if you say 'No, it doesn't make her a slut' you could mean because

a) it doesn't necessarily mean she's into casual sex - there could be other reasons (like examples given of someone having on/off relationships)

or because

b) she could be open to casual sex, but this doesn't mean she is a slut

The fact that people are rushing to this hypothetical girl's defence giving other reasons why she might be carrying a condom is very telling I think....

For some reason after reading this I started thinking about things like if she's not wearing tights she's ready for sex and don't shave your legs that way you'll be sure not to have sex with him tonight.

As someone who spent however long condoms stay in date for with some and not being interested in casual sex or having someone on/off relationship with, I think it's as bad to say that a woman who carries condoms and isn't in any sort of relationship is open for casual sex.

Kooli

Orla K wrote: »

As someone who spent however long condoms stay in date for with some and not being interested in casual sex or having someone on/off relationship with, I think it's as bad to say that a woman who carries condoms and isn't in any sort of relationship is open for casual sex.

This is my point. The implication that to 'accuse someone' as being open to casual sex is a bad thing.

I'm not saying you're wrong to see it that way. I just think it means we are having two debates in one.
a) does carrying a condom mean you are open to casual sex
b) does being open to casual sex mean you are a slut?

OK so you carried around a condom despite not wanting to engage in casual sex and not being in a relationship - could you really not understand why someone might think you are open to casual sex? I don't see what other reason you would have to carry one around?

Orla K

Kooli wrote: »

This is my point. The implication that to 'accuse someone' as being open to casual sex is a bad thing.

I'm not saying you're wrong to see it that way. I just think it means we are having two debates in one.
a) does carrying a condom mean you are open to casual sex
b) does being open to casual sex mean you are a slut?

OK so you carried around a condom despite not wanting to engage in casual sex and not being in a relationship - could you really not understand why someone might think you are open to casual sex? I don't see what other reason you would have to carry one around?

Your confusing me with the first part, to me it seems you have done a u turn on your views, same with the first bit of the second part, but I'm going to go back and re read your posts.

As for these
a)sometimes but not always
b)no, to be honest with you I can't see anyone as a slut, I could see people acting slutty(done it myself:D) but I don't think it's always a bad thing.

I could see why some poeple would think carrying one would mean I'm open to casual sex but to be honest I wouldn't have much time for those people.

Another reason would be incase I got very very drunk and stupid at least I would have been smart enough to have a condom. I just like to know just in case I got too drunk and anything did happen that I would have one.

CathyMoran

Jood wrote: »

I remember one time having a bit of a pregnancy scare when a condom broke. I went into Boots and bought two pregnancy tests, a family size box of condoms and a box of tampax, I swear the woman behind the till thought I was mad, she managed to keep a straight face anyway!!

Also, some women use condoms as the sole method of contraception in long term relationships where an unplanned pregnancy would not be a problem. At the begining of our pregnancy my husband and I got a similar list of products, we really hoped that we would stay pregnant this time but I had had so many miscarriages that we both needed a break...thankfully we did not need the condoms...

I would have thought any woman carrying a condom was just being sensible.

Orla K

Kooli wrote: »

This is my point. The implication that to 'accuse someone' as being open to casual sex is a bad thing.

Alright I've now re-read them and this makes more sence to me now. It's nothing about casual sex being seen as good/bad. It's the you carry condoms so your open to casual sex.

Kooli wrote: »

I'm not saying you're wrong to see it that way. I just think it means we are having two debates in one.

Of course I'm not wrong, I'm never wrong:P. Anyway I think, you think that I see it in a way that I don't but I'm not sure this bit still confuses me.

Jood

CathyMoran wrote: »

Also, some women use condoms as the sole method of contraception in long term relationships where an unplanned pregnancy would not be a problem. At the begining of our pregnancy my husband and I got a similar list of products, we really hoped that we would stay pregnant this time but I had had so many miscarriages that we both needed a break...thankfully we did not need the condoms...

I would have thought any woman carrying a condom was just being sensible.

My main problem is that I'm still searching for an alternative type of contraception that suits me so for the time being I have to rely on condoms and I have to say this has been pretty succesful as that was the only time I had a scare. But because of this I do carry condoms even when I was in a ltr I still carried them because a baby wouldn't be ideal for me at this stage.

CathyMoran

Jood wrote: »

My main problem is that I'm still searching for an alternative type of contraception that suits me so for the time being I have to rely on condoms and I have to say this has been pretty succesful as that was the only time I had a scare. But because of this I do carry condoms even when I was in a ltr I still carried them because a baby wouldn't be ideal for me at this stage.

They have been the only thing that I have ever used and saying that, we have not used them in years. Edit, I should state that pregnancy would never have been a bad problem for us.

Kooli

Orla K wrote: »

Your confusing me with the first part, to me it seems you have done a u turn on your views, same with the first bit of the second part, but I'm going to go back and re read your posts.

QUOTE]

[
Yes, rereading what I wrote and it does sound confusing. I know you said subsequently that it was clearer, but I still think I should make myself clearer here!!

What I mean is that the people who rush to defend these girls who are labelled sluts by saying that they might not be carrying condoms for the reason of casual sex, are actually supporting the argument that if it WERE for casual sex, then they would be sluts.

I don't think anyone is actually saying that directly, but that's the implication in the argument.

Here's another example:

Person 1: "Americans are stupid cos they only speak one language"
Person 2: "No they're not stupid - a lot of Americans actually speak more than one language"

Although person 2 is defending Americans, he/she is still implying that to only speak one language does make someone stupid

OK not a great example, but the best I could come up with at short notice!

Orla K

Yes, rereading what I wrote and it does sound confusing. I know you said subsequently that it was clearer, but I still think I should make myself clearer here!!

What I mean is that the people who rush to defend these girls who are labelled sluts by saying that they might not be carrying condoms for the reason of casual sex, are actually supporting the argument that if it WERE for casual sex, then they would be sluts.

I don't think anyone is actually saying that directly, but that's the implication in the argument.

Here's another example:

Person 1: "Americans are stupid cos they only speak one language"
Person 2: "No they're not stupid - a lot of Americans actually speak more than one language"

Although person 2 is defending Americans, he/she is still implying that to only speak one language does make someone stupid

OK not a great example, but the best I could come up with at short notice!

Alright but my point was that there are more reasons than the one's you gave, and I know this because it was my reason. I wasn't defending "these girls" or even myself, just letting you realise that there are more reasons to carrying condoms than being in a relationship (stable or on/off) or being open to casual sex, could just to feel more secure incase of excesive alcohol not be one (and I don't think that has anything to do with being open to casual sex)

Madame Razz

I wouldn't judge any woman for carrying them; I think it's sensible tbh. Not just from a 'being prepared' point of view, but from a practical point of view. Most men keep the condoms that they carry with them in the worst place possible(their wallet) and for the most part said condoms have been there for ages, which doeesn't exactly do much for latex tbh.

Added to which a lot of those wall machines contain the most bizarre brands, some of which aren't even kite marked!

Plus, certain brands and types suit some women better than others, lots of women are allergic to spermicide etc.

Lots of reasons for a girl to carry her own tbh.

misslt

I think it's clever for a woman to be prepared for whatever may happen; even if she is open to casual sex - doesn't necessarily make her a slut.

This whole thread and the Gerry Ryan show discussion comes down to the same thing - women that enjoy sex are branded as sluts whereas men that go out to 'score' are perfectly okay.

If she has condoms to be practical, safe, and avoid STI's, fair fcuking dues to her.

If she has condoms to be prepared for whoever she may take home at the end of her night out; again fair dues.

Lets face it - most (if not all ) women enjoy sex so who cares if she has it with her bf, her next door neighbour or the milkman - as long as shes clever about it?

Cupcake_Crisis

I have a lot of respect for a woman who carries condoms, theres absolutely nothing wrong with being prepared! Personally, i dont carry them, but thats only because im single and dont want to give in to temptation. If i was in a relationship id have no problem at all carrying them around. No babies for me

pow wow

I don't carry them but do have a healthy supply in my sock drawer. If I'm getting busy it's usually planned I found a pair of unworn knickers in my work laptop bag this morning so I'm not sure what I was planning there They're definitely mine!

entropi

I think its a good idea to be prepared jsut incase, male or female. Personally i always have 2 with me (i know the heat in a wallet will slightly weaken them etc but better safe than sorry i say)

sam34

i dont carry them in my wallet/bag, but i'd always have some in my bedside locker.

on a once-off or unplanned encounter i'd bring a fella to my place rather than going to his, thats my logic.

iguana

I used to carry a box of 3 in my bag. It's better to keep them loose and cool than to have them squashed in a wallet as that can degrade them. Plus that even if it's just a ons, if he's any good you may want to do it more than once.

rainbow kirby

I think it's just being sensible to carry them, no matter what gender you are. Better safe than sorry!

Novella

I usually carry a condom, yeah. I don't think a woman carrying a condom is a reason to presume she is slutty or whatever. As the saying goes, it's better to be safe than sorry.

I was casually seeing a guy for a year or so, hence why I carry condoms. Anyway, one night, I didn't happen to have any so I stopped at a shop and we ended up having a pretty huge argument because he insisted that I should be the one to go in and buy condoms because I was the one who'd get pregnant if I didn't.

Professey Chin

Novella wrote: »

I usually carry a condom, yeah. I don't think a woman carrying a condom is a reason to presume she is slutty or whatever. As the saying goes, it's better to be safe than sorry.

I was casually seeing a guy for a year or so, hence why I carry condoms. Anyway, one night, I didn't happen to have any so I stopped at a shop and we ended up having a pretty huge argument because he insisted that I should be the one to go in and buy condoms because I was the one who'd get pregnant if I didn't.

Smooth.....