what is wrong with me??

scarymoon1

ok i was out last night with a friend - we met 2 guys that we got on well with. exchanged numbers and one of the guys has text my friend already. And me - NOTHING! This is the second time this has happened me. Im not ugly - i had a laugh with him, and he seemed interested. Plus earlier on we were talking to 2 other guys and my friend overheard them say they are too good looking and prob have boyfriends and so they left. But in fact i thought the guys were nice. Just to point out - he saw me kissing a guy earlier so maybe he thinks im 'easy'! I duno - im getting really fed up of all that crap

minidazzler

Yeah, if he saw you kissing another fella that would be it.

However if ye exchanged numbers then you have his!! Text or ring him.

He could be nervous.

Then again, he could also have been running interference so his friend could get in there with yours.

There are lots of possibilities, so text him, no reply then assume he has a gf and was just being a wingman.

martdalto

Yes, why are you waiting for him to contact you?
You liked him, had a laugh, got on well.. what's stopping YOU from making the call/sending the text?

scarymoon1

well i dont have his number. He has mine. But he also asked was i on facebook etc. so that made me think he was interested. Plus he wasnt using me so his friend could talk to mine - i started talking to his friend first. maybe he will text - i duno - but the other guy has text my friend already and there is me again telling my friend no he hasnt text me and she is like - aww poor you!!

G-Money

This might seem like a stupid question, but why not get the number of the guy you were kissing rather than the one you weren't?

I guess it's possible he was just being friendly or something. He might have seen you kissing the other guy and that might have put him off.

To be honest if I was out and I seen a girl kissing a guy, I wouldn't exactly be keen to make a move on her. I'd probably chat or be friendly at most but I wouldn't really be interested in anything else.

Faith

It's only been a day. Give him a chance!

Without wanting to be harsh, I wouldn't be surprised if you're coming across to guys as really desperate and scaring them away. Starting a thread here because a guy hasn't called you in less that 24 hours is a bit much.

scarymoon1

grandmaster wrote: »

This might seem like a stupid question, but why not get the number of the guy you were kissing rather than the one you weren't?

I guess it's possible he was just being friendly or something. He might have seen you kissing the other guy and that might have put him off.

To be honest if I was out and I seen a girl kissing a guy, I wouldn't exactly be keen to make a move on her. I'd probably chat or be friendly at most but I wouldn't really be interested in anything else.

it was only a kiss for like - 10 seconds tops! He kinda caught me off awares!!! but ya maybe it did put him off.

ash23

Are you only bothered because your mate got a text and you didn't?
It is coming across that it's less about this guy slipping through your fingers and more about the fact that you feel that your friend has "won" as her guy messaged her.

Do you actually want this guy or do you just want him to text you so you feel validated in comparison to your friend?

scarymoon1

Faith wrote: »

It's only been a day. Give him a chance!

Without wanting to be harsh, I wouldn't be surprised if you're coming across to guys as really desperate and scaring them away. Starting a thread here because a guy hasn't called you in less that 24 hours is a bit much.

i knew someone would call me that. im the opposite if you must know. and the reason i started the thread was because the other guy text my friend already and i heard nothing!

scarymoon1

ash23 wrote: »

Are you only bothered because your mate got a text and you didn't?
It is coming across that it's less about this guy slipping through your fingers and more about the fact that you feel that your friend has "won" as her guy messaged her.

Do you actually want this guy or do you just want him to text you so you feel validated in comparison to your friend?

well maybe - i hardly know the guy so i dont know if i 'want' him yet or not. Its just im feeling a bit, rejected i guess. She got the call and i didnt

MizzLolly

I doubt very much that there's anything wrong with you at all but I wonder if you're giving off the signal that you're out specifically to bag yourself a fella? There's nothing wrong at all with wanting to find yourself a nice guy but in my experience, it's the nights when I'm out and not even thinking about guys where I find myself being approached left, right and center.

I just got the impression from your posts that yourself and your friend are out specifically to pull. (Sorry if I'm wrong, I just picked it up from you saying you were kissing another guy and chatting to those two guys before this one)

I mean, when I go out, I drink, dance and have a laugh with my friends and IF I happen to get chatting to a nice guy then that's a plus but if not, I don't care because I'm out to have a laugh with my buddies.

If you're going out intentionally to pull then you are set up for a disappointment if you don't. I'm convinced at this stage that guys can sense the women who are on the prowl.

There's nothing wrong with you at all, at all!

G-Money

I just know if I was out and seen a girl I was possibly interested in kissing someone else, I just wouldn't go near her. I'd think she's either got a boyfriend or if she didn't, I wouldn't want to be just another guy she kissed a short while later.

Think of it this way. Imagine you seen him kissing another girl, would you bother calling him if he gave you his number?

G-Money

MizzLolly wrote: »

I wonder if you're giving off the signal that you're out specifically to bag yourself a fella?

This reminds me of something that happened on a night I was out. I was out with a few of the lads and one of them got talking to this girl who was in Dublin for the weekend. She was friendly enough but she came across like a bit of a hussy. She was sort of chatting away and saying how she was out to get a man that night and said something about some rugby team being out and hoping to land one of them.

At one point I got talking to her a bit and she started telling us about the first time she took the pill and everything. Complete head the ball and to be honest, it turned all the guys off and at the end, none of us wanted anything to do with her. A while later we saw her and her mate all over some other guys.

I'm not saying you were like that, but if I felt a girl was out to get just whatever guy came along then it would really put me off and I'd completely avoid her. I don't think you were like that but when he seen you kissing someone else, then being very friendly with him, he might have thought you were just out to land a fella.

scarymoon1

but i wasnt out to 'land a guy'. is it a crime to talk to people when on a night out? i was having a good time. and when talking to them it wasnt in the back of my mind - im going to grab you or whatever. That girl you described sounds like a headcase! i was with the same guy for 3 years so im not a hussy i guess i just, ok jealous, my friend got a call and i got nothing

G-Money

Nope, not saying you are a hussy at all and yer woman was a head case. What worried me more was that she was a doctor! I thought she'd have a bit more sense.

I just think a lot of guys wouldn't be super interested in doing anything with a girl if they'd seen her snogging someone else a short time before. But maybe that's just me.

G-Money

scarymoon1 wrote: »

my friend got a call and i got nothing

In fairness you did get a snog off someone last night, so it's not like you got nothing. That's more than I've got in the last 10 years!

scarymoon1

grandmaster wrote: »

In fairness you did get a snog off someone last night, so it's not like you got nothing. That's more than I've got in the last 10 years!

haha - it wasn't a snog - it was me embarrassed trying to get away from him TBH

e04bf099

Often lads are afraid of rejection. That sounds a bit simple. It feels a little demeaning to be chasing a girl who kisses other lads so casually. I know you were embarrassed and trying to get away, some of mates "face-rape" girls all the time. They laugh about it afterwards, but those lads get most of the attention out in clubs, which irks us guys that are a little more timid. On the toilet wall in Whelan's it says "he who gets the most slaps, gets the most shags", and considering the friends of mine that do (some particularly "successful" man-whores) it can be frustrating for lads who might think women want lads that are more fun, loud and boistrous, whether it is true or not. So lads just don't bother sometimes. They expect the worst, whether its a nice put-down or a blunt "no thanks!", it still hurts a lads confidence enough that it isn't worth it. I never ask women out and in clubs or pubs I'm bashful to the point that I can only ask the most mundane boring questions, and the fun guy I am with my mates gets gets constricted and constrained.

But to answer your question, he is probably chuffed that he got your number in the first place (I never get that far) and is doing everything he can not to fukc it up. So he is waiting a couple of days so he won't come across as desperate. He could be doubting himself by thinking something like: "well, she probably wasn't that interested and might have just given me her number to be polite because she didn't want to put me down and thought I was harmless(which is the worst thing a girl can call a guy)". So make it easy for him and if he comes off a little strange, don't jump ship and suppose it is his usual self.

scarymoon1

e04bf099 wrote: »

Often lads are afraid of rejection. That sounds a bit simple. It feels a little demeaning to be chasing a girl who kisses other lads so casually. I know you were embarrassed and trying to get away, some of mates "face-rape" girls all the time. They laugh about it afterwards, but those lads get most of the attention out in clubs, which irks us guys that are a little more timid. On the toilet wall in Whelan's it says "he who gets the most slaps, gets the most shags", and considering the friends of mine that do (some particularly "successful" man-whores) it can be frustrating for lads who might think women want lads that are more fun, loud and boistrous, whether it is true or not. So lads just don't bother sometimes. They expect the worst, whether its a nice put-down or a blunt "no thanks!", it still hurts a lads confidence enough that it isn't worth it. I never ask women out and in clubs or pubs I'm bashful to the point that I can only ask the most mundane boring questions, and the fun guy I am with my mates gets gets constricted and constrained.

But to answer your question, he is probably chuffed that he got your number in the first place (I never get that far) and is doing everything he can not to fukc it up. So he is waiting a couple of days so he won't come across as desperate. He could be doubting himself by thinking something like: "well, she probably wasn't that interested and might have just given me her number to be polite because she didn't want to put me down and thought I was harmless(which is the worst thing a girl can call a guy)". So make it easy for him and if he comes off a little strange, don't jump ship and suppose it is his usual self.

hi - yeah he may be waiting a couple of days but what gets me is that my friend got a text the next day! I always seem to meet the ones that play hard to get or wait for days before he texts!! The other guy obviously likes my friend and so texts her - but not me

G-Money

scarymoon1 wrote: »

haha - it wasn't a snog - it was me embarrassed trying to get away from him TBH

Hmmmm, I'm not sure I buy this to be honest. I remember this other girl saying to me one time about snogging guys just to get them to leave her alone and I thought that was the most ridiculous thing I'd ever heard of.

I mean if there was a girl I really didn't like and wasn't interested in, there's no way I would snog her to "get away from her". If anything, that would be just leading her on and showing her that I was interested. They would literally and I mean LITERALLY have to take out a gun and point it directly at my head to make me snog a girl I didn't want to.

So to say you kissed a guy for 10 seconds to get away from him sounds a bit silly if I'm being honest. You must have been somewhat interested in him.

So you didn't get a call, so what? Welcome to the world of rejection. Us guys have to put up with a monumental amount of rejection, fickleness and occasional hostility - even when we're just trying to be friendly. You shouldn't be too cut up about the fact that this guy didn't call you.

I'd probably also recommend not kissing a guy in front of another guy who you actually like. To be honest, us men have less than no interest in acknowledging a girl who is into someone else. We will be polite and courteous but in our minds all we are thinking is "Please God, let me get away".

scarymoon1

grandmaster wrote: »

Hmmmm, I'm not sure I buy this to be honest. I remember this other girl saying to me one time about snogging guys just to get them to leave her alone and I thought that was the most ridiculous thing I'd ever heard of.

I mean if there was a girl I really didn't like and wasn't interested in, there's no way I would snog her to "get away from her". If anything, that would be just leading her on and showing her that I was interested. They would literally and I mean LITERALLY have to take out a gun and point it directly at my head to make me snog a girl I didn't want to.

So to say you kissed a guy for 10 seconds to get away from him sounds a bit silly if I'm being honest. You must have been somewhat interested in him.

So you didn't get a call, so what? Welcome to the world of rejection. Us guys have to put up with a monumental amount of rejection, fickleness and occasional hostility - even when we're just trying to be friendly. You shouldn't be too cut up about the fact that this guy didn't call you.

I'd probably also recommend not kissing a guy in front of another guy who you actually like. To be honest, us men have less than no interest in acknowledging a girl who is into someone else. We will be polite and courteous but in our minds all we are thinking is "Please God, let me get away".

well i kissed the guy before i started talking to the other guy, but he was right beside me. i guess il have to deal with the rejection - 3rd time in a row this is now.

G-Money

Yeah it's not nice, but unfortunately it happens.

The reality of the situation is that most of us - men and women, have kissed/been with other people. However when you meet someone new, you don't think about who they've been with. Or at the very least, you try not to think about it. You sort of push it to the back of your mind. You begrudgingly accept the fact that they probably have been with other people, but you try not to think about it, in the hope that the number isn't very high. You might even hold on to some naive possibility that they haven't really been with anyone before.

However actually seeing them kiss someone or do something with someone else is completely different. At least it is for me. I find it hard to imagine how you can still be interested in someone when you see them kiss someone else.

I'm not trying to make you feel bad for kissing that other guy and I hope you don't. I'm just trying to explain how this guy you liked may have reacted. For me it would be a case of "Oh right, fair enough, I'll chat but now that I've seen that, I'm not interested in her anymore".

Anyway, I'm sure you will get over it

scarymoon1

but why would he ask for my number and when talk to me touch me on the shoulder, arm etc? he was charming so i guess he was used to chatting up girls!!

G-Money

Flip knows. Maybe he was just being friendly and sociable. Maybe he was interested.

And lets not ignore the elephant in the room called alcohol. I'm not saying he was drunk and was only into you because of that, but if you were both drinking, it's possible you both had a slightly distorted view of the situation.

Also, haven't you ever got a guys number and for whatever reason, lost interest in him shortly afterwards (within a few days)?

To be honest there's many different possibilities and I may be completely wrong. Anyway just forget about it and move on.

scarymoon1

grandmaster wrote: »

Flip knows. Maybe he was just being friendly and sociable. Maybe he was interested.

And lets not ignore the elephant in the room called alcohol. I'm not saying he was drunk and was only into you because of that, but if you were both drinking, it's possible you both had a slightly distorted view of the situation.

Also, haven't you ever got a guys number and for whatever reason, lost interest in him shortly afterwards (within a few days)?

To be honest there's many different possibilities and I may be completely wrong. Anyway just forget about it and move on.

i guess - but 3 rejections in a row makes me think thats what it always will be like! thanks for your replys

G-Money

scarymoon1 wrote: »

i guess - but 3 rejections in a row makes me think thats what it always will be like! thanks for your replys

You're welcome. I'll see you in town tomorrow night then and buy you a drink to cheer you up

scarymoon1

grandmaster wrote: »

You're welcome. I'll see you in town tomorrow night then and buy you a drink to cheer you up

aww theres at least one nice guy in this world

G-Money

scarymoon1 wrote: »

aww theres at least one nice guy in this world

I don't know about that, I'll be making you buy the first one

scarymoon1

grandmaster wrote: »

I don't know about that, I'll be making you buy the first one

HA- ok i take back my statement but thanks again for your help.

m..graham

What has happened to you has happened to me on numerous occasions. It lowered my self confidence.. But you just have to 'get back on the horse' as they say. Its their loss at the end of the day.

muboop1

scarymoon1 wrote: »

i guess - but 3 rejections in a row makes me think thats what it always will be like! thanks for your replys

look im not going to comment on a lot im reading here, as i honestly have a problem with what you are saying as well... doesn't matter.

But to think of it from another point of view.

You have 3 rejections over course of 3 nights out.

He might of had that in an hour... Maybe he thought you didnt want him to or maybe later on he met someone else or he's just busy... he's playing it cool/hard to get...

Next time you want the lad make the move yourself. If he gets your number ask for his to!

But honestly this seems a pride game to you. If you can't take the hits don't play the game... it's clearly all your after...