Humpty Dumpty:The Resurrection

wudangclan

The BBC have changed the ending of the nursery rhyme with Humpty being pieced together at the end for a happy ending

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/media/tv-radio/humpty-dumpty-had-a-great-fall-but-dont-worry-hell-be-fine-1804870.html

The report contains this classic;

"The MP for Glasgow South said yesterday: "For goodness sake. Obviously children will find it far too violent, distressing and horrific that Humpty should not be put together again."

dr.bollocko

How in the **** is a horse supposed to put a broken egg back together? The logistics of these claims are astounding.

dlofnep

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hYytaZ06Hco

RoadKillTs

Did they ever find out who pushed him?

4zn76tysfajdxp

RoadKillTs wrote: »

Did they ever find out who pushed him?

He "tripped."

Borneo Fnctn

RoadKillTs wrote: »

Did they ever find out who pushed him?

He took magic mushrooms and thought he could fly. :rolleyes:

Whosbetter?

Eggciting news!

pikachucheeks

RoadKillTs wrote: »

Did they ever find out who pushed him?

The Zohan!

indough

dr.bollocko wrote: »

How in the **** is a horse supposed to put a broken egg back together? The logistics of these claims are astounding.

i dont think it was originally an egg at all

Photi

Speaking of distressing and horrific, remember this?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kGxWxjEr6F8

ejmaztec

No doubt little Miss Muffet gets through her curds and whey these days, with no interruptions from any spiders either, and weighs about 29 stone:(

Soft bastards!

Archeron

Photi wrote: »

Speaking of distressing and horrific, remember this?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kGxWxjEr6F8

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
I still have nightmares over this. I hope whoever made it was shot.

104494431

Alec Fancy Mulch wrote: »

He "tripped."

National accident helpline to the rescue!

TheZohanS

ejmaztec wrote: »

No doubt little Miss Muffet gets through her curds and whey these days, with no interruptions from any spiders either, and weighs about 29 stone:(

Soft bastards!

The spider was charged with sexual harassment and is now on the Sex Offenders list.

jumpguy

TheZohan wrote: »

The spider was charged with sexual harassment and is now on the Sex Offenders list.

How did it sign the register?

Photi

jumpguy wrote: »

How did it sign the register?

It was on the web.

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the king's horses,And all the king's men,
Said "fcuk him, hes only a egg"

Earthhorse

All the children should receive medals for watching the BBC.

Arnold Layne

Why is Humpty Dumpty depicted as an egg and a male one at that? There is no mention in the Nursery Rhyme that he/she was one. The only reason I can think of is that all illustrations of the nursery rhyme depict him/her as one

Photi

Arnold Layne wrote: »

Why is Humpty Dumpty depicted as an egg and a male one at that? There is no mention in the Nursery Rhyme that he/she was one. The only reason I can think of is that all illustrations of the nursery rhyme depict him/her as one

Wasn't it supposed to have been a large gun or cannon?

edit: hmmm, maybe not

Origins

According to the Oxford English Dictionary the term "humpty dumpty" referred to a drink of brandy boiled with ale prior to the "little, clumsy person" meaning.[1] There are also various theories of an original "Humpty Dumpty". As some are mutually exclusive, the theories necessarily include false etymologies.

The theory that Humpty Dumpty was a cannon used in the siege of Colchester in 1648 during the English Civil War is often stated as fact.[3] However, the additional 'discovered' verse which reveals this meaning was actually written as a spoof for the Oxford Magazine in 1956 by Professor David Daube.[4] The story was originally attributed to Gloucester and has no substance in fact, despite its adoption by the tourist industry of Colchester. The additional verse is:

In Sixteen Hundred and Forty-Eight
When England suffered the pains of state
The Roundheads lay siege to Colchester town
Where the king's men still fought for the crown
There One-Eyed Thompson stood on the wall
A gunner of deadliest aim of all
From St. Mary's Tower his cannon he fired
Humpty-Dumpty was its name
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall...

Another theory posits Humpty Dumpty referring to King Richard III of England,[5] Shakespeare's hunchbacked Egg, the "Wall" being either the name of his horse (called "White Surrey" in Shakespeare's play) or a reference to the supporters who deserted him. During the battle of Bosworth Field, Richard fell off his steed and was said to have been "hacked into pieces". (Though the play depicts Richard as a hunchback, other historical sources suggest that he was not.)

wiki

Arnold Layne

Photi wrote: »

Wasn't it supposed to have been a large gun or cannon?

So why the need for a happy ending, be it for an egg or a cannon?

Photi

Well, if it had been a cannon then maybe not being able to put it together again would have been a happy ending.

As for changing the tone of nursery rhymes nowadays it's just nanny state-ism at its best I guess. These odes have survived for hundreds of years as short poetic references to war, plague, illicit love affairs etc.

Joey the lips

It explains why i am going around pushing scumbags off walls. Sh1t it seems its now a waste of time.

orourkeda

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
Humpty Dumpty is a pain in the a*se
All the kings horse and all the kings men
Said why do Glasgow MP's talk such boll*cks

TPD

That song taught kids to be careful sitting on walls. Now kids are going to be sitting on walls all over the show, 'cos Humpty did it and was fine in the end. Sitting on all sorts of walls, they will be. 5ft walls. 7ft walls. 9ft I tell you!

Disgrace.

mikeystipey

Photi wrote: »

Speaking of distressing and horrific, remember this?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kGxWxjEr6F8

jaysus! Thats more than an Aphex Twin video!

Joey the lips

The Perfect Drug wrote: »

That song taught kids to be careful sitting on walls. Now kids are going to be sitting on walls all over the show, 'cos Humpty did it and was fine in the end. Sitting on all sorts of walls, they will be. 5ft walls. 7ft walls. 9ft I tell you!

Disgrace.

good point! Its true!

Mint Sauce

would rather tell the kids ealier in life he couldn't be put back together again, rather then them finding out later and causing them all kind of distress and years of councilling, next thing they'll want to them that santa does not exsist and baba black sheep could not provide any wool

:mad:

Coriolanus

Happy ever afters: The IoS rewrites some childhood favourites
* Seesaw Margery Daw, Johnny shall have a new master. He shall earn the minimum wage, because the Labour government made it legally binding.
* Rock a bye baby on the tree top, when the wind blows, the cradle will rock. When the bough breaks, the cradle will be safe because the tree has undergone a health and safety assessment.
* Old Mother Hubbard went to the cupboard to get her poor doggie a bone. When she got there, the cupboard was full because she just had a delivery from Ocado.
* London Bridge is undergoing planned engineering works. Please wait for further announcements.
* Three visually impaired mice, three visually impaired mice. See how they run, see how they run. They all ran after the farmer's wife, who handed them over to the RSPCA.
* Little Bo Peep has lost her sheep – but she knows how to find them because she has satnav.

Here's some of the Sindos other suggestions.

iddy

RoadKillTs wrote: »

Did they ever find out who pushed him?

My two and a half year old informed me recently that "Humpty Humpty fell off the wall cos he has a roundy bum"

mikom

wudangclan wrote: »

The BBC have changed the ending of the nursery rhyme with Humpty being pieced together at the end for a happy ending

The follow up rhyme details how Humpty pushes his girlfriend off the wall just to see her crack.

Havermeyer

RoadKillTs wrote: »

Did they ever find out who pushed him?

There were a couple of witnesses, but the stress of it all scrambled their memories of what happened.

I'll get my coat.....

marcsignal

Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall....


.... and 2 Israeli soldiers riddled him with machine gun bullets

If they really wanted to "save" the children from distress they should have made him a weeble!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qq0OQBdIhsc

Anyway - it's nothing new, Disney saved the three little pigs wears ago, in the original story two got eaten and the wolf got boiled.

Photi

Nevore wrote: »

Here's some of the Sindos other suggestions.

The Independent on Sunday is a world away from the Sindo, don't tar them with that brush!