So scared about new (potential) relationship

LegacyUser

Ok, going anon for this!

So, I am 28 and i have only had one long term relationship with a guy for almost 4 years who really treated me like dirt, at the same time i was battling bulimia and my self-esteem was rock bottom. Anyway, we broke up almost 2 years ago and i had a few flings with guys - nothing serious in the aftermath but then made a concious effort about 9 months ago to stay man free and get my eating and my head together.

For the first time I got my head together and am feeling fantastic! I finally feel like i don't need a man and i've become independent, secure and happy. Then, a couple of months ago i was introduced to a guy through a friend and we became friends. He is 40, separated and has his own baggage. It took me a while to open up and admit that i fancied him but when i did (by text message 3 days ago) he was really shocked and said that he totally fancies me too but never would have made a move because he assumed i was so young i would never be interested. Anyway, we are meeting up at the weekend but since the revelations (which i am so happy about btw) he has been texting, emailing and calling me a lot - he even said he has lots of baggage which he will tell me about when i see him.

I just feel really scared, i mean, it feels like i'm gettng in to something big and i might only be ready for something more relaxed. The last thing i want to do is mess this guy about....he is so lovely and i know he has been single for a long time (like 4 years plus)...

Any advice?

Thanks x

jellyboy

You are putting barriers in front of nothing....

being able to open to the idea of opening your heart to sombody is enough for today...

invoke the power of your ears and go to meet being able to listen...

Dont allow the past to shape your futre ,leave the ghosts of your realship,illness behind and embrace the beauty of life...

it will take patince and love ,Enjoy....;)

Peggypeg

He sounds like a lovely man, patient and honest in that he has baggage which he wants to talk to you about. Sounds really promising to me. I'd say that a leaf out of his book, be honest with him, tell him that while you like him you're still rebuilding yourself, gaining your indepence and happyness etc. From the sounds of him he'll be content to take it slowly. And yeah as above don't let your previous relationship ruin this one, this guy doesn't sound like the last, give him the benefit of the doubt, give it a go but be up front and honest about the type of relationship you want at the moment. If you get swept up though, go with it, it's lovely to be in love and he does sound trust worthy.

Best of luck!!!

ladymarmalade

Sorry don't mean to rain on your parade, but going out with someone who is seperated brings it's own complications. Just because he has '' his own baggage'' doesn't automatically mean he is the guy for you or that he will understand yours. He will bring with him insecurities that may match yours or not.

I am not being hateful, i am talking from experience. I am seperated myself and have dated so my advice to you is go for it, but with both eyes wide open.
Don't let yourself believe this is your knight in shining armour until he truly deserves the title.
Believe in yourself, I wish you well xx

opinion guy

he even said he has lots of baggage which he will tell me about when i see him.

OK i don't mean to rain on your parade either but someone telling me that before we even had a date would be a bit of a warning sign for me. You don't want someone who will make u their therapist!