He gets really moody!

sunnylife

Hi all,
would love some advice

I love my boyfriend of 2years and can't imagine life without him.....
But...
he gets into these moods when we fight, where he doesnt come out of for like 3/4 days. it's like his punishing me for fightin with him- when the fight was his fault....
like right now.... he is in this mood, coz 2days previous- he got pissed off for me not textin him back while i was working.....
i then, went a little crazy over him been pissed at such a ridic thing-he often doesnt txt me back& i dont mind coz i kno his workin....

this then went into a fight( i wasnt backin down-over him been so cross for no reason) and went our seperate ways...(he had got upset and shed a tear,which i was ignorned) i then text him and was lets put this behind us, it was stupid etc....

i am well able to switch back to been happy in love mode, but he cant... so right now, the only texts i get off him, are forced replies to my mg. no love you or miss u or anybit of affection........ just forced mgs....... we went for dinner yday at his friends, he bearly address me, i tried to hold his hand, put my hand on his lap, kiss him good night etc.... and gettin nothin back!!!

its driving me crazy and it gets me really down..... wat can i do??

Oh The Humanity

Its called passive aggressive behaviour.

He is indeed punishing you with silences and moodiness. Its a form of attention seeking behaviour some people engage in.

The worst thing you could do is chase him around asking do you love me? do you love me? etc and trying to go back to normal loved up-ness. Thats what he wants you to do. And when you do it he takes pleasure in being cold and rejecting.

Its childish and attention seeking. Ignore the strops and silence when its going on. When he's out of it, sit him down and let him know you see what he is up to and you think his behaviour is childish and embarrassing and either he cops on and stops it or ?

Elbi

Oh The Humanity wrote: »

Its called passive aggressive behaviour.

He is indeed punishing you with silences and moodiness. Its a form of attention seeking behaviour some people engage in.

The worst thing you could do is chase him around asking do you love me? do you love me? etc and trying to go back to normal loved up-ness. Thats what he wants you to do. And when you do it he takes pleasure in being cold and rejecting.

Its childish and attention seeking. Ignore the strops and silence when its going on. When he's out of it, sit him down and let him know you see what he is up to and you think his behaviour is childish and embarrassing and either he cops on and stops it or ?

you hit the nail on the head...

I had an ex exactly like that, what is it is sulking.... he would sulk over the slightest thing which them made me feel bad, sad or even guilty.
eventually i did start to ignore them and the sulks started to bother me less and less but that i started to lose respect for someone who would carry on like this
I thought i was madly in love with him that i couldnt live without him but i realised sometimes you have to love yourself more. i found the carry on too stressful so i ended it and never looked back.

ManOfMystery

As above...

Even though HE is in the wrong, he has turned the situation round so that he is the one in control. That is what passive aggressive behaviour is all about, ultimately you are left as the one chasing him and the ball is in his court so to speak.

Don't allow this to happen, and don't give in. When he gets over this little strop, explain to him how childish his actions are and in future, let HIM come grovelling to you when he's wrong- even if it takes weeks.

dubdcugirly

Had the same problem myself, really upset me after awhile as I restrained myself from talking about my problems because I knew it would lead to bigger issues and I woild have to deal with his moods, which is wholly unfair.

Although I didnt like I had to become a bit of a bit*h and say whatever was on my mind; if this resulted in a mood I would simply say "snap out of it" and after awhile the moods lessened. Stand up for yourself and tell him to get over it.

Taltos

Hi OP

feel like I am reading a post about myself here.
I too used to do this - but in my case I was not really all that aware I was doing it - just that I was annoyed etc etc.

My OH handled it along these lines...
1st time - let me get away with it and we had a big bust up that cleared the air
2nd time - challenged me - had a big bust up, cleared the air - BUT made it very clear that my behaviour was not on. Bit of an awakening for me - as up to this point I was not conscious of what I was doing.
3rd time - as above - "Oh xxx is in one of his strops again, baby needs his nappy changed..." - lets just say the in my face, calm nature this was delivered to my MUM - woke me up.

Has happened only a few times more - but each time my OH spots it coming and snaps me out of it - in a really calm but efficient manner..

So as someone who used to do this...
Stop it now - take control and let him know his misbehaviour is NOT on...

Kinda thinking I should have gone unreg'd for this.

Peggypeg

Fair play to you Taltos; realising you were behaving badly- changing your behaviour - that's something to be proud of, not something to go unregged for;)