Have a date with non-drinker

zxcvbnm1

I have a date tomorow night with a non-drinker.

I've never been on a date with a non drinker.

Normally as a first date i would go to some pub for a few pints and leave it at that.
However - does a non drinker get bpored in a pub?

Any suggestions as to what to do on a date with a non drinker?

I certainly don't want to go the cinema.

shellyboo

Ask the girl/guy what they want to do.

Ann22

I didn't drink 'til I was about 20...up until then I didn't know any different so I'd go to pubs and clubs, I'd dance and have great craic and enjoy the company of merry friends. It's only when you start to drink that you feel a bit fed up when you're sober.
I have a friend who doesn't drink, I don't like getting p*ssed in her company really as I'm a bit of a silly drunk whereas she's a bit more serious however I do enjoy meeting her for a coffee or for lunch.
You could go for a drink and maybe some grub. I'd be inclined to wait 'til I knew them better before getting jarred.

zxcvbnm1

Ann22 wrote: »

I didn't drink 'til I was about 20...up until then I didn't know any different so I'd go to pubs and clubs, I'd dance and have great craic and enjoy the company of merry friends. It's only when you start to drink that you feel a bit fed up when you're sober.
I have a friend who doesn't drink, I don't like getting p*ssed in her company really as I'm a bit of a silly drunk whereas she's a bit more serious however I do enjoy meeting her for a coffee or for lunch.
You could go for a drink and maybe some grub. I'd be inclined to wait 'til I knew them better before getting jarred.

ya - i think you're right.

i'm thinking a quick bit of grub in someplace to give a bit of focus to teh night followe by a couple of drinks ain a pub afterwards and leave it at that.

It depends on the reason why the person doesnt drink. There can be alot of reasons why someone's a non-drinker, most of which end up in them not liking going to pubs at all. If it's just because they're not that into drinking, then you'd probably be fine going to the pub (with the purpose of going being convo and a laugh rather than the drinking itself), but either way it would probably be better to steer clear of the pub unless they bring it up.

As for non alcohol based activities, I've heard tell that there's no alcohol in tea and coffee, so a cafe for food and convo or something might be good. If you're in dublin there's an oktoberfest thing on down at the IFSC, so you'd be able to have a drink while the two of you have a mosey around, without your non-drinker being obliged to drink something (though I havent been to it so cant say for sure how alcohol based it is). No matter where you are there's probably a few small gigs on around that you could check out together too.

Or just ask what they think of pubs....

themusicman

As a non drinker can i offer a little advice.

Meet for the drink in a pub, have 2 maybe and move on.... cant beat a stroll if the weather is dry!!!! stop off in cafe for quiet coffee. IMO its easier to talk sometimes while strolling, it throws up topics for conversations, you dont have to look at the person particularly as you seem to be conscious of the non drinking thing. End of day its never an issue for me. Just dont get hammered!

zxcvbnm1

themusicman wrote: »

As a non drinker can i offer a little advice.

Meet for the drink in a pub, have 2 maybe and move on.... cant beat a stroll if the weather is dry!!!! stop off in cafe for quiet coffee. IMO its easier to talk sometimes while strolling, it throws up topics for conversations, you dont have to look at the person particularly as you seem to be conscious of the non drinking thing. End of day its never an issue for me. Just dont get hammered!

Slightly off topic but out of curiosity why do you avoid alcohol?

Is it health reasons or some other reason?

LeixlipRed

There are a million things you could do for a date that don't inolve a pub. Use your imagination. You sound like you have reservations about dating someone who doesn't drink so perhaps think it through before you actually go on the date. Not everything has to revolve around a pub. And I do drink before you ask me if I don't.

krudler

Christ, why do people think that non drinkers will be bored in a pub? if they are thats proabably more to do with you than where you are, I gave up drinking for 2 years and had some of the best nights out ever during that time, and no hangover to boot, typical Irish attitude that non drinkers cant enjoy themselves on a night out without getting ****faced like everyone else

Liam Byrne

zxcvbnm1 wrote: »

Slightly off topic but out of curiosity why do you avoid alcohol?

Is it health reasons or some other reason?

Slightly off-topic but would you think it weird if (s)he asked you why you didn't avoid alcohol ?

Vegetarians avoid meat......would you ask them the equivalent question - for example, if you were having a date with a vegetarian, and don't know any suitable restaurants ?

herya

Are pubs for drinkers only, since when? I almost don't drink, just an occasional light drink and it would never occur to me to avoid pubs for this reason.

IIDSIIELMO

As a non drinker myself I have no bother going to the pub. There is no need to feel conscience about it... just relax and have a good time.

davmol

DO NOT trust non drinkers!!they are evil!
Dont call this girl delete her number and move on!!

Wibbs

davmol cop on and read the charter of this forum. Helpful posts only from now on or post elsewhere. Thanks.

anniehoo

I went out with a "limited drinker" lets say last week and i felt very self concious to be honest. He only told me once we got to the pub so when he stopped at 2 pints i felt terrible drinking 2 more after that. It was basically one drink per hour but it made me think about dating a non drinker full stop. The reason i felt self conscious is because he commented on it so it was awkward. If theres a future date id have to seriously think twice about the pub again and go to a comedy show,concert,restaurant for example.

zxcvbnm1

ya - i have to say that dating a non-drinker has a big downside.

Stheno

I've been going out with a non drinker for a while now, and it's not really a problem tbh. He is fine going out for a few drinks, we vary the stuff we do, so it's not all down the pub

bp

Right, just asked bf of many years if he finds it a downside to date a non-drinker....he says no!

Personally pubs bore me but I don't have any problem going into one. Have two drinks, anymore and the drinker I find personally just feels uncomfortable - it is odd that people feel weird drinking in front of a non-drinker and feels the need to justify it!

I had a friend who dated a non-drinker and found that she didn't know what to do for dates, as she always went to the pub with her last bf....but there are plenty of other things!

My first date was a movie and a chat on the going into town (but we were teenagers), and the next one was then going to howth, sharing a bag of chips and sitting on a wall - it was quite nice!!!!

Try something casual like eating somewhere nice (not posh but howth/ Dalkey where ever you are from).

I was at the zoo last weekend and had a great day.....and I am 27 so you are never too old for a date in the zoo....another idea could be bowling and a bite to eat. I really like the idea of a comedy show....it is a good night out, you both laugh which breaks the ice and having a drink then isn't as big a thing as it would be just sitting in a bar

LegacyUser

I think it's a fair question to ask. There may be reasons why this person does not drink. Maybe had bad expereicen with drink, medical reasons, or like most non-drinkers just not into that scene. That does not mean you should not meet up in a pub. Afterall the main point of the date is to get to know each other more. Why not have a chat over a drink, alcoholic or non-alcoholic doesn't matter. Good question to ask. Get to know her and if the sparks are there they are there regardless of drink.

I think the answers some people put up here show more about them then the non-drinkers. Why do you feel uncomfortable with a sober person? Is this not YOUR problem? Why do you need to get sloshed? Why not enjoy a decent chat with someone? Why need the drink?

Marathon Man

If you cannot comprehend why somebody won't drink or indeed think of something to do which doesn't involve drink: 1.then either you need to find some hobbies for yourself or 2. You are the one with a problem- a drink problem.
Probably both.

ohohoh

The Comedy Club on the quays makes for a great night out.

From someone who used to go out and get absolutely hammered, I have recently started cutting down on booze, even driving some nights. And the only annoying thing about those nights is getting questioned by everybody as to what is wrong and why I am not drinking. It's irritating because I actually have a thoroughly enjoyable night otherwise.

RealEstateKing

doesnt find pubs boring for about 2 hours or so. But yes after that you get an itch to do something.

I mean sitting in the pub is just like being in a cafe, but nobody wants to sit in a cafe for more than about 2 hours.

But drinkers will sit at the same table without moving or doing anything at all for 4 hours and consider it a short night out, cause alcohol makes you feel like the rather boring, dingy little pub their in is a little slice of fried heaven.

As far as social interaction goes, I dont find non-drinking makes any difference until people get beyond about 4/5 pints. Then they do actually repeat themselves and get boring/sentimental/etc.

Actually I think the hardest thing about being a non-drinker in Ireland is how shocked and appalled most people are when you tell them. Its like telling people in The Bible Belt that you dont beleive in God!

So Id just relax and not worry about it. He/she is probably well used to going to the pub for long stretches, as in this country you have to if you want any form of social life.

ridonkulous

bp wrote: »

Right, just asked bf of many years if he finds it a downside to date a non-drinker....he says no!

Well yeh, obviously, hes not an idiot. Ask him if your ass looks fat in something and see what he says.... (not meant as an insult in any way)

But on a more serious note I think its very difficult going out with someone who is a non drinker. Just like its tough going out with someone who is a borderline alcoholic. Personally I don't generally enjoy the company of non drinkers (or at least the ones I have met) as it is true there is just something I do not feel comfortale with. It may be something within myself and probbaly says alot about me rather than them but thats the way it is for me.

davmol

Ive had some great relationships in my life and 1 aboslutely terrible one....and that was with a non drinker.

This is my case obivously it doesnt relate to all other cases.
i like to drink at the weekend as i work hard during the week.a girl i was seeing at teh start turned out to be sound but the mroe time we spent in pubs/socialising the more we argued.Understandably she got bored/p1ssed off in a pub after a while when people became drunk and did the usual unintentional spitting into her ear and slurring.
After midnight shed always want to leave and would be hurryingme up and i didnt go back to parties with friends cos she didnt want to and any festive occasion which invariably take place ina pub was met with sighs and disgust.

Anyway you can imagaine what happened when i mentioned my mates(other couples) were going to ocktoberfest in germany...well lets just say i went she didnt and she certainly wasnt at teh airport to welcome me home.......moral-if you like pubs and she doesnt there WILL be friction

Eve_Dublin

Hello! I got a bit of an insight into our mentality as a nation with regards to dating when I went out on a date with a non-drinker in the past was the awkwardness at instigating the end of night kiss. All the guys I´ve dated have been drinkers and as is the Irish way, we tend to get a bit of Dutch courage with a few drinks on us and just go for it. As a drinker myself, I found it awkward to initiate anything when we were saying goodbye and I guess he sensed the awkwardness I felt, even though things had been relaxed all night ´till that point. I laid off the drink myself for the night and had a good night (comedy club, coffee and a chat) although it ended a bit early for my liking because of the lack of options beyond the pub after a certain time. We didn´t actually kiss and it gave me something to think about the next day. I´ve probably kissed most, if not all the guys I´ve ever dated after at least a few drinks! Shocking stuff really and made me think about how much we depend on drink in Ireland for Dutch Courage that other nationalities don´t seem to need.

If I kissed this guy soberly, I suppose it would have meant I really meant it and I couldn´t blame the drink for a "stupid drunken kiss" the next day if I wasn´t really that into him. Pretty heavy for a first date! The next day I regretted not kissing him and was kicking myself for not having the bravery to soberly go for it.

I have the upmost respect for the people with enough self-awareness and confidence in themselves to choose to be non-drinkers in Ireland. Takes some balls.

kjl

im a 29 year old male non drinker, pubs are fine. Its not like because we dont drink we want other people to stop. If you first date would normally be a pub, then do that. Just dont get to drunk.

Also dont make it a huge issue, already it seems like you are making a massive deal of something that is nothing.

bp

ridonkulous - :-) that did entertain me....and he would....he said it a few nights ago (and I agreed, my ass did look big)

maybe the fact that he isn't the biggest drinker in the entire world helps! I have been to Octoberfest and had a great time with my mini-stein full of Cola, but by the 3rd day I was somewhat bored!

I hope the date went well/ is going well!

Just relax and have a laugh, maybe go to the pub closer to the end of the night so that you aren't spending the entire night there.

I have no problem whatsoever with people drinking around me, I love drunk people because they are so entertaining! Don't worry that they don't drink just don't spend the entire night in the pub