I feel really out of place here!

LegacyUser

Hi
Thanks for reading this.
I've recently moved to Scotland, Im in my early twenties.
This is the first time Ive lived on my own in a foreign country and I'm finding it hard.
Its like everything I do marks me out as different to everyone else. I never knew how different the Irish are from the Scots.
- We dont just have a different accent, we actually swear more often. I cant just speak the way I do when I'm at home or I get funny looks
- We have a completely different sense of humour. Everytime I crack a joke here I get funny looks
- We call things different names. Anytime I tell my flat mate Im going to wash the ware I get funny looks.

These are minor things I know, but another thing has really bugged me.
Im living in quite a small town, at about 12 o' clock the other night I needed to go buy some fags. All the shops were closed so I wandered into a pub to buy some.
When I asked the barman for some I got something worse than funny looks. Every person in the pub turned to look at me. Then I noticed the guy standing next to me at the bar had UVF tatoo'd in big bright orange capital letters all along his arm.
I left as soon as I could, but the experience has really thrown me off balance.
The place is great, the people are lovely but I just cant shake this feeling that Im not really welcome in this town. I have'nt had any problems and Im here about 4 weeks now. But I found out recently that this is a seriously loyalist orientated town.
I wouldnt say Im scared, just less at ease than I was.
Its making me even more homesick. Im frightened to be Irish in public in case I draw any attention.
And I really dont want to tell my family any of this because they will worry like mad.
I dont know how to deal with this. I cant go home and I cant just move to the next town down the road.
Any advice please?

minidazzler

Firstly, You should definitely have investigated the place you planned to move to.

Secondly, just use colloquial terms. Dishes instead of Ware, Ciggarette's instead of Fags, Don't use the same Vernacular that you would use at home. Use all terms that are universal.

Personally I wouldn't stay in any place that is full of either Unionists or Republicans, I would be out of there faster than you can blink. I don't like strong political views.

You are new there, of course you're not welcome yet, especially if it's a small town. Most of them probably know each other all their lives, they have to assess you as a person before they accept you.

unhappycamper

Sometimes people in life make bad choices, by the sound of things you have made a bad decision by moving to what sounds like a living hell. Pack your bags right now and get a plane home. As mentioned above do your research next time. You have no obligation to stay so leave and be done with this chapter of your life you poor sod

Eve_Dublin

Hey OP....I lived in Scotland myself in my mid-twenties and was surprised at some of the anti-Irish feeling I got from people I came across that I never experienced anywhere and I really didn´t expect it...I thought we were much of a muchness...Celtic brothers and all that...and I also came across the complete opposite: people who automatically worshipped the ground I walked on and talked about the "struggle" back home. I couldn´t relate to either extreme. Saying all that, I found the Scottish to be the closest to us culturally than any other country I´ve been. I´m making broad generalisations but I found the Scottish to be very like the Irish....with a bit more of an edge that I found took a while to get used to.

I´ve been living in Spain the past month and I´ve talked to Americans living here and they said they get a hard time wherever they go and they just have to deal with it or they´d never leave their own country. I´ve also experienced a couple of rude people who I know dislike "foreigners" as one entity...they have a word for us, Guiris (don´t know what it means but I´ve been told it´s derogatory) and they´ve basically tarnished all clear eyed, pasty faces with the same brush but I´ve come across the very same in Ireland. Just strange to be on the receiving end of it. It´s irritating when I just want to blend in with the crowd but I´ll probably never shake my Spanish spoken with a thick Dublin accent and the pasty Irish skin and blue eyes. If they can´t accept a bit of diversity, then it´s more their problem than mine. Saying this, these people are in the tiny, tiny minority and you just have to push this to the back of your head and remember the majority of good experiences.

I think anywhere new takes some getting used to and perhaps the few bad experiences you´ve had are being amplified by a million because you´re feeling vulnerable in a new place. I´m not accusing you of exaggerting, I´m sure very it´s uncomfortable for you but I´m guessing most of the animosity you believe your on the receiving end of is probably in your head. The actions of a few have tainted your preconceptions of everyone. If you have to be there, then give it a chance. You´re experiencing a bit of culture shock and that´s totally normal. You have to see it as part of the adventure of moving somewhere new and honestly, the people who hold extreme unionist or Republican views in Scotland are in the minority and are most definitely a dying breed, just like in Northern Ireland. I had a great time there and found the Scottish friendly and after you get past their sometimes cutting humour, really good fun, just like us Irish can be.

Give it a chance, keep an open mind, be yourself and relax. If you´re still miserable in a few months, then maybe consider moving.

buckieburd

I moved to Dublin from Scotland 6 years ago and I could of written your exact post but swap Scotland with Ireland!

Dont change yourself to fit in, fair enough if people dont understand your accent tone it down a bit, but when people get used to it you slip back into your old ways.

The whole unionist thing just ignore it, I can assure you you'll be in no danger, the people telling you to pack your bags and leave need to calm down :rolleyes: Make an effort to chat to people, Scottish people are very friendly, join a few clubs or do an evening course and you be rolling in friends in no time.

Can I ask where exactly where are you living?

OS119

Hi OP,

i take it you've moved to some post-industrial shithole in Lanarkshire?

is there a real reason you can't move - no transport to your job etc - or is it just that you think that moving would show you've made a mistake?

if you really can't move then just keep your head down, don't drink in the pubs - like Lanarkshire has any pubs worthy of the name - and don't get involved in what they are pleased to call the local football culture.

other than that, move to Glasgow's west end or south side - both are very multi-cultural areas with highly mobile populations (most of the flatshares are informal, no notice, no references and a small deposit) so nobody will bat an eyelid at who you are or how you speak, though helping yourself by not using - where possible - dialect that no bugger will understand will be a start.

theres a a news agent on Byres Rd in the west end with 300 or so so flatshares/flats to rent from all over Glasgow in his window, and another, similar one near 'Roots n Fruits' on Gt Western Rd.

good luck.

Faith

I lived in Edinburgh for 4 years and can't say I ever felt anything other than welcome. Why have you moved to that particular town? Did you not research it at all? Can you not move anywhere else?

You also have to be aware that you're in a different country. You have to adapt somewhat. If people don't understand you, use the proper words: cigarettes, trousers, dishes, etc. You can't expect everyone else to adapt to your language; you have to use theirs.

Apart from that, my advice is to move to a better town, and preferably a city, as soon as you can.

On one hand, I can sympathise with you, as I know what it's like to move to another country and be the outsider - I've been doing it all my life. On the other hand, what did you expect? You can't seriously have thought any place on earth would be that similar to Ireland? You really have to adapt when you move to another country - of course people won't understand Irish expressions or words. I've heard Irish girls at my college here moaning that nobody understands when they say 'press' rather than cupboard and I have no sympathy whatsoever. If something so tiny is such a problem, they should have stayed at home. When you go somewhere, YOU are the one who has to adapt, you can't expect other people to adapt to you. Believe me, it's exactly the same for those who move to Ireland!

As for where you live, well it sounds like a sh!thole. Why did you choose that town? Could you really not move to Glasgow or Edinburgh or somewhere else more welcoming towards outsiders?