Afraid of new relationship and working with OH

KiLLeR CoUCh

I'll try to keep details to a minimum...

I just recently started a new relationship. We've been seeing each other for around six months, known each other for two years and just sat down last week and had "the talk" if you will. I'm absolutely mad about him, I think this could really work between us. The problem is ever since we made it official, I'm absolutely terrified. I've been in a LTR before that lasted almost four years and we left on good terms. We just broke up because we drifted apart and lost feelings for each other. But now all I can think of is what if this end in exactly the same way. When I got together with my previous boyfriend I remember being very excited and happy about the whole thing. This time, i'm happy yes, but I'm just having horrible visions of myself in the future breaking up with my current OH and being crushed about it. Is this normal?

Second problem is something I could use some practical advice for. We're in college together, same course, same hours and we work closely together for at least one day every week. It's going to be like this for the next two years. I've never been in this scenario before where I was required to be around my OH so much. I don't want it to be overkill and end up sick of the sight of each other. I know some people here have metioned working with their OHs and was wondering how you cope and does get hard?

Contessa Raven

I'm not sure how to answer the first half of your post. You can't know how things pan out in the future so worrying about it is only putting extra stress on you (and possibly unnecessarily) When these thoughts kick in say to yourself "This is new, fresh and exciting. Nothing will spoil it for me." That usually works for me.

As for the second half, I have experience with this. My OH and I met in 1st yr of college and started a relationship at the end of 1st yr. In the same class, same course, same discipline all the way through. Now we're both currently finishing our degrees in a U.K. university in the same class and even living in the same house. Now when you read back on that I'm sure it sounds claustrophobic to most. But we realised before we started going out that the chances of this happening were high. So it wasn't a factor really. However by 3rd yr (last year) there were only 8 people in our class altogether. This was a bit more difficult because if he and I were to have an argument it could affect the whole atmosphere because the class was so small and the others would pick up on it.

Also if you're working closely together, it can get quite stressful so if you are working in groups try join a group without him in it. This will give you some space even if you're still in the same room. Also have days during the week where you don't sit together at lunch or hang out after college cuz otherwise you'll drive eachother demented. And remember, once you finish your course and you both get jobs, you'll both be pining for more time together, So make the most of it now! :P

CDfm

IT depends on the nature of the work.

KiLLeR CoUCh

Thanks Raven, that's some pretty solid advice. I've no way of getting out of working with him sometimes but there's plenty of group work later on in the year and I'll make sure I get some time away from him

Red Alert

I had a small class (under 30, usually only 20 present) and there were essentially no relationships within the class except for a couple of very short lived ones.

I also worked in a medium-sized shop where almost all the staff were late teens or early 20's and there were a fair few couples there. Didn't really cause anyone too much bother.

If you're both mature about it and mix well within the class I don't think you should have many problems.