Moving Statues Outbreak Watch

Sponge Bob

Back in 1985 in the middle of an economic depression in Ireland we had a really relly **** summer where it rained all the time.

In september 1985 statues started to move nationwide ( most notably one in Cork near Clonakilty) and the country went pure mad for about 3 months . Bus Eireann scheduled buses to go to Cork for the statue . At peak there was a daily bus down there from Galway .

In september 2009 yadda depression yadda rain ...it is happening again .

However this statue in Donegal is a sort of Hip Hop generation moving statue . It does not just move but puts on a light show and all .

http://www.independent.ie/national-news/grotto-statue-took-on-human-form-and-wept-say-witnesses-1902391.html

"We went into the shelter facing the rock and at a few minutes to eight someone suggested we should start the rosary. We had no sooner started than someone shouted 'look up'.

"To the left of the cross, another cross appeared in the sky and as soon as it disappeared, another one appeared. It lasted about 10 minutes," he explained.

Then people began noticing that the white statue with its red heart had begun changing colour and form.
"She appeared to have a human face and her head turned and she looked at people. She looked down at the children who were at the front," he said.

One woman explained how the statue began crying and she went up to dry the tears.

Donegal is also experiencing an outbreak of Pestilence but the guards are not interested

But expect another massive outbreak of bleedin movin statues people . All the preconditions are satisfied .

mikom

Sponge Bob wrote: »

But expect another massive outbreak of bleedin movin statues people . All the preconditions are satisfied .

Probably moving to Canada or Australia like every 2nd tosser I speak to.

mcaul

Idea for Paddy Power...

A book on where the next statue will be seen dancing.


Another idea...

Those people in Donegal should stop buying mountain juice from people they don't know. It make you see things that aren't there!:D


And speaking of mountain juice... does anyone know where good poitin can be had these days. ???

Heisenberg.

This post has been deleted.

Gone Drinking

Why do holy statues always cry? Why can't they be reported to have smiled, or flashed a passer by or something..

gerTheGreat

Gone Drinking wrote: »

Why do holy statues always cry?

You know what, I think it's the weather. It just bums them out. The first sign of rain and it's wah-****in'-wah... oh wait :eek:

genericguy

shower of fcuks.

Hells Belle

they are calling it Shrine Flu, ha brilliant, we can laugh at the idiots too so its all good

PatB71

Ah I remember it well the hysteria here in Monasterevin when our Lady moved ..seeing our little town on the news and trying to spot yer mates in the crowd who had about as much interest in religion as .....me:).

antodeco

What did one statue say to the other statue in the dark?

" 'Statue Dave?"

admiralofthefleet

Scien wrote: »

We have Holy Stumps now.

will it still be class 3 when they, eh...remove it

Iggy Pop

Sponge Bob wrote: »

Back in 1985 in the middle of an economic depression in Ireland we had a really relly **** summer where it rained all the time.In september 1985 statues started to move nationwide ( most notably one in Cork near Clonakilty) and the country went pure mad for about 3 months.

Ballysaliva, Fcuking brilliant!! I remeber it well. There were a few fcuking epic pieces about it in the Pheonix. I think Brendan Grace even did a piss take song about it.

There must have been a million jokes doing the rounds.

Fcuking busloads of aul ones in their scarves clutching rosary beads standing in the rain for hours. :pac::pac:

Fcucking classic.:D

And then the rival moving statues all over the country trying to drum up a bit of business for their town.
I can't remember such a country wide slagging. The interviews with the 'believers' were pure gold.

Thank you OP, you made my weekend:)

dvpower

Gone Drinking wrote: »

Why do holy statues always cry? Why can't they be reported to have smiled, or flashed a passer by or something..

Bloody celebs. Don't know when they're well off.

citizen_p

you mean in the economic depression drug sales are on the rise,,.. not statues moving

Sponge Bob

http://www.irishtimes.com/newspaper/ireland/2009/1012/1224256437842.html?via=mr

The outbreak is gathering pace . Possible reasons are and or all of

1. Clinical depression leading to hallucinations.
2. Ergot ( a poisonous hallucinogenic) in our cereal supplies after the damp harvest .
3. LSD introduced into the Castlebar water supply .
4. September/October is traditionally around when magic mushrooms are to be found and people always went a bit mad around then in Ireland

THOUSANDS GATHERED at Knock Shrine, Co Mayo, yesterday hoping to see an apparition of Our Lady.


There were ripples of applause from a crowd estimated at more than 5,000 as some people believed they could see the sun shimmering, changing colour and dancing in the sky.


Some people were rapturous afterwards. Others were highly sceptical. “It’s an optical illusion, pure and simple,” one sceptic, who did not wish to be named, said. “Anybody looking at the bright sun long enough would begin to imagine things.” But other pilgrims were adamant that something supernatural, possibly life changing, had occurred.


John Tunney, from Islandeady, Castlebar, said: “I’m 53 years old and I never seen the sun go like that before. I witnessed the sun go all different colours, yellow, red and green. Then it completely darkened and began shimmering. Sometimes the sun emitted a clean, bright light, then it would darken again.”


Mr Tunney’s wife, Nina, said: “The sun was spinning in the sky. I experienced a feeling of total happiness. It is a feeling I would love to experience again. It was amazing. I felt marvellous.”

It was cloudy yesterday but the sun is out again this morning :eek: .

brummytom

I honestly thought I saw Our Lady when I woke up yesterday morning.. seriously nearly had a heart attack, said a Hail Mary.

But I'm not well so I was probably delirious... fcuk it was scary though :eek:

mk2

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5OVlyuwsu3s
quality:D:D:D

phasers

There are moving statue guys in town all the time

Yeah I said town.

Sam Vimes

Sponge Bob wrote: »

However this statue in Donegal is a sort of Hip Hop generation moving statue . It does not just move but puts on a light show and all .

I know if I was the omnipotent creator of the universe I'd prove my existence by making a statue appear to move and making lights appear. I wouldn't waste my time on worthless pursuits like ending world hunger or giving a cure for cancer.

Jesus Wept

mcaul wrote: »

Idea for Paddy Power...

A book on where the next statue will be seen dancing.

Pure hilarity. PP have one joke that they've flogged to death for 10 years+.



In the 80's, in the Town where I lived - someone hung a sign on the Mary statue that said 'out of order'.

Insect Overlord

Sam Vimes wrote: »

I know if I was the omnipotent creator of the universe I'd prove my existence by making a statue appear to move and making lights appear. I wouldn't waste my time on worthless pursuits like ending world hunger or giving a cure for cancer.

Ah come on now, sure don't you know those things are there as a test of faith? :pac:

Sam Vimes

An File wrote: »

Ah come on now, sure don't you know those things are there as a test of faith? :pac:

What I'd also do is I'd pick a random few prayers to answer. I'd get someone that raise they wanted while allowing a family to go bankrupt and destitute. And I'd never answer a prayer that couldn't have just happened by coincidence, for example I'd allow some cancers to go into remission but an amputee isn't getting their arm back no matter how hard they pray. Sure they can't even put their hands together to pray and everyone knows you have to do that for him to listen :rolleyes:

wudangclan

Sam Vimes wrote: »

but an amputee isn't getting their arm back no matter how hard they pray.

he will if he prays for pixie dust.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/7354458.stm

Sponge Bob

Paddy Power opened and closed a book on apparitions last week . Thats apparitions mind ...not moving statues !!

http://ballyhaunis.blogs.ie/images/knockbet_01.jpg

Knock attracted the most money , of course . I am nearly hoping for rain this weekend

m5ex9oqjawdg2i

genericguy wrote: »

shower of fcuks.

I never quite understood these types of posts...

Lirange

They are Quantum Locked. They don't exist when they are being observed. The moment they are seen by any other living creature they freeze into rock. No choice, it's a fact of their biology. In the sight of any living thing, they literally turn into stone. And you can't kill a stone. Of course, a stone can't kill you either, but then you turn your head away. Then you blink. Then, oh yes, it can.

jor el

Lirange wrote: »

Of course, a stone can't kill you either

Oh, really?
http://img39.imageshack.us/img39/5360/lev24.jpg

Lirange

Stones don't kill people. People with stones ... oh fekk it.

Manic Moran

Why am I reminded of the movie "Hot Fuzz", all of a sudden?

Remember what happened the moving statue in that?

NTM

G_R

ah would ya leave the aul wans/mad people/priests alone,

if they want to believe in moving statues, the sun going mad and that some aul wan from around 2000 years ago is popping uo to say hi then i say let em off

DarkJager

Between holy faced tree stumps and hallucinations, I am starting to get seriously worried about the mental health of this country.

Corkfeen

Knock, stumps and holy statues.
Sounds like it could be the name of a father ted episode. We'll be extremist if this recession lasts any longer.

Demonique

Lirange wrote: »

They are Quantum Locked. They don't exist when they are being observed. The moment they are seen by any other living creature they freeze into rock. No choice, it's a fact of their biology. In the sight of any living thing, they literally turn into stone. And you can't kill a stone. Of course, a stone can't kill you either, but then you turn your head away. Then you blink. Then, oh yes, it can.

ZzubZzub

Lirange wrote: »

They are Quantum Locked. They don't exist when they are being observed. The moment they are seen by any other living creature they freeze into rock. No choice, it's a fact of their biology. In the sight of any living thing, they literally turn into stone. And you can't kill a stone. Of course, a stone can't kill you either, but then you turn your head away. Then you blink. Then, oh yes, it can.

Dammit, that's exactly what came to mind when I saw the thread title!!


DON'T BLINK!!! Gotta love Doctor Who. :cool:

Lirange

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e5cCAmiZJAo

Jesus Juice

''Yes,the Madonna,the Virgin Mary,our Holy Mother is actually bleeding out of her Anus''