new relationship-guy opinions needed

LegacyUser

This is not the biggest dilemma, esp after I read the other tales of woe.
But I wanted some opinions. I'm with new boyf a few since May and he has asked me to go to a wedding with him in October. Asked my friends about this and they said it means he's really into me and sees this as a serious relationship-why else would he inlcude me in something like this. Is that true guys or would you bring a new girlf to a wedding without a second thought? I'm asking because I don't think we're that serious, we're having a great time but I'm not thinking its a really serious thing yet-maybe after a year or so but not only after a few months?
I'm 28, he is 10 years older, don't know if thats relevent but would like opinions on this as I'm curious because we've had "the talk", we are exclusive but I think we're still not that serious.

ash23

whose wedding is it?

If it were his sisters for eg, then it is a serious enough indication as you would be meeting all his family.

If it's a mates wedding it's a bit less serious.

Depends on the guy.
I've gone to weddings with guys I've only been casually dating/friends with.
I think you're over thinking things. You're his girlfriend. So if he has an event where he needs a plus1 he is going to ask you and not ask someone else.

It doesn't mean he's getting all intense and will be thinking of proposals and babies

If you don't want to go then just say no.

Oh The Humanity

Take their advice with a pinch of salt!!! Dont let them pressure you.

I'd say its fairly usual to invite whoever you are seeing to an upcoming wedding. Why not, if you two are getting on well!

Don't mind your friends, sure October is not that far away!

But anyway, Im not a bloke so .....

ManOfMystery

I also think you're over analysing.

You're going out 5 months, you've had the 'talk' ...... he has a wedding coming up .................. who else is he going to bring to it? Of course he's going to ask his girlfriend.

Floppybits

OP, I think you are looking into this too deeply. I am a fella (well I was the last time I looked) and I wouldnt even think like that If I was seeing a girl and invited her to come to the wedding me. If I got a invitation and it was me and a guest and I was seeing a girl, serious or not I would invite them to the wedding. I dont think he should be a big hooha about it, obvisiously the invite is there for him and a guest and he has asked you. If I was you I would take it as a compliment that he doesnt mind being seen with you and must enjoy your company. I would be more worried if he didnt invite you.

Julietta

Hi OP

I am with my current chap 4 months now and we're going to a wedding on Saturday, he is best man - to be honest, I would have thought it odd if he hadn't invited me as his date (unless numbers were limited) and I really didn't give it a second thought other than what am I going to wear!

Inviting you doesn't mean he is going to drop down on one knee any time soon and you accepting doesn't mean you are hoping he will, it just means a good day out for both of you, enjoy it for what it is.

J.

Canis Lupus

Bejaysus women are weird. He's got a party to go to and as his GF he has asked you along as would be expected.

LegacyUser

Hi OP
Im with my gf only a few weeks and as I really enjoy her company (obviously or she wouldnt be my gf..) I would bring her to a wedding at weekend if there was one on..
In fact there a big get together with lots of my friends and I am bringing her

There's no secret agenda, I just enjoy being round her Similiar with your guy I'd say

As another poster said it would be ODD if he DIDNT ask you !!

Over analyzing....just go and have a great day out...

ash23

Canis Lupus wrote: »

Bejaysus women are weird. He's got a party to go to and as his GF he has asked you along as would be expected.

I can see the alternative now

"I've been seeing a guy since May and he has a wedding in a few weeks and hasn't invited me as his guest"

CDfm

LOL - it would be very odd if he didn't ask you to accompany him.

abceire

i dont think it means your serious or not serious, he s going to a wedding , you two are going out few months , so why wouldnt he ask you to go with him
i wouldnt read to much into this either way, just go to the wedding and have fun

I don't understand how this can possibly be a problem. Would you prefer if he took another girl to the wedding? You are his girlfriend, why wouldn't he ask you?

LegacyUser

Hi OP here,
Well thanks for the replies-I did have a giggle reading them and rereading my post, which I wrote very quickly and came off 100 times more panicky than I actually am-so hard to give context in writing a quick post!!
Yes I know it sounds like I'm overanalysing but i'm quite casual about relationships and have tended to stumble from one to another, i'm not one for putting a label on things. New boyf was very into the "you're my girlfriend I want us to be exclusive stuff" after about a month, very soon for me. Wedding thing was dilemma cos i don't want him to be thinking about us racing up the aisle next (haha!) i'm so not into that stuff and this is a big fancy church do where i'll be meeting loads of his out of town friends for the first time. i don't want him to think we're candidates for getting hitched, but i guess guys don't think that way. Thank god he wont be getting down on one knee soon.
One poster was right. Women ARE weird, especially crazy ones in new relationships.

Nervous Wreck

I'd prob ask a girl to go to a wedding with me after 3 weeks (as long as we'd already had sex). Reason being.... who the f*ck wants to go to a wedding alone?!

aidan24326

newiegirlie wrote: »

Hi OP here,
Well thanks for the replies-I did have a giggle reading them and rereading my post, which I wrote very quickly and came off 100 times more panicky than I actually am-so hard to give context in writing a quick post!!
Yes I know it sounds like I'm overanalysing but i'm quite casual about relationships and have tended to stumble from one to another, i'm not one for putting a label on things. New boyf was very into the "you're my girlfriend I want us to be exclusive stuff" after about a month, very soon for me. Wedding thing was dilemma cos i don't want him to be thinking about us racing up the aisle next (haha!) i'm so not into that stuff and this is a big fancy church do where i'll be meeting loads of his out of town friends for the first time. i don't want him to think we're candidates for getting hitched, but i guess guys don't think that way. Thank god he wont be getting down on one knee soon.One poster was right. Women ARE weird, especially crazy ones in new relationships.

You've only been seeing him since May, I very much doubt he's planning on asking you to marry him any time soon. But 4 months is more than long enough that he should ask you to accompany him to a wedding. What would you say if he didn't invite you? Wouldn't you think that a bit odd? Just enjoy what you have for now and stop over-analysing.

How Strange

newiegirlie wrote: »

I'm with new boyf a few since May and he has asked me to go to a wedding with him in October.

That seems natural enough. You're together a few months, he has a wedding, he asks you. Simples.

Asked my friends about this and they said it means he's really into me and sees this as a serious relationship-why else would he inlcude me in something like this.

Eh, don't listen to everything your friends tell you. You're seeing this guy, they aren't so you know him better than they do.

Is that true guys or would you bring a new girlf to a wedding without a second thought?

Here's the thing about guys that we girls don't get. They do most things without a second thought. I want to do something so I will. Us wimmen have to analyse every little thing. This thread being a case in point.

I'm asking because I don't think we're that serious, we're having a great time but I'm not thinking its a really serious thing yet-maybe after a year or so but not only after a few months? I'm 28, he is 10 years older, don't know if thats relevent but would like opinions on this as I'm curious because we've had "the talk", we are exclusive but I think we're still not that serious.

Now you're analysing and over analysing and getting yourself worked up. There is a huge age gap between you (in terms of life experience and years) so you'll have to get used to it if you plan to continue seeing this guy. For all you know he may have no intention of getting married until he's 45 hence if ever which is why he's dating an 18 year old. If he dated a 28 year old she may be a bit more antsy to get up that aisle in the next few years. You're making alot of assumptions about him falling on one knee, you walking up an aisle and then you're working yourself into a panic.

Relax, enjoy the wedding and have fun with this guy.

LegacyUser

Um, How Strange I am 28 and he is 38...so I don't think we're that far apart!
Yes I see how people think I am over-analysing this, but given that he is a bit older I thought maybe he's a bit more "marriage"minded than me, given that he's sowed his wild oats, is very settled and all his mates are married or getting married. I am really into him, just don't want to think he's bringing me to this so "test the waters" so to speak.
Would never have looked at a 28 year old when I was 18 and I've always been out with guys my age or younger, first exeperiance of an "Older setttled guy" for me.Anywho thanks for the interest guys, was expecting 2 replies at most....have to go shopping now for fancy frock! (Yes,women are weird)

ManOfMystery

newiegirlie wrote: »

Hi OP here,
Well thanks for the replies-I did have a giggle reading them and rereading my post, which I wrote very quickly and came off 100 times more panicky than I actually am-so hard to give context in writing a quick post!!
Yes I know it sounds like I'm overanalysing but i'm quite casual about relationships and have tended to stumble from one to another, i'm not one for putting a label on things. New boyf was very into the "you're my girlfriend I want us to be exclusive stuff" after about a month, very soon for me. Wedding thing was dilemma cos i don't want him to be thinking about us racing up the aisle next (haha!) i'm so not into that stuff and this is a big fancy church do where i'll be meeting loads of his out of town friends for the first time. i don't want him to think we're candidates for getting hitched, but i guess guys don't think that way. Thank god he wont be getting down on one knee soon.
One poster was right. Women ARE weird, especially crazy ones in new relationships.

People get asked to weddings all the time, doesn't mean they're getting hitched themselves. I've gone to 4 weddings this year but have no intention of getting married just yet. Remember, assumption is the mother of all f**kups!

CDfm

newiegirlie wrote: »

Yes I see how people think I am over-analysing this, but given that he is a bit older I thought maybe he's a bit more "marriage"minded than me, given that he's sowed his wild oats, is very settled and all his mates are married or getting married. I am really into him, just don't want to think he's bringing me to this so "test the waters" so to speak.

Haven't heard the expression wild oats in ages.

What if you catch the bouquet?;)

How Strange

newiegirlie wrote: »

Um, How Strange I am 28 and he is 38...so I don't think we're that far apart!
Yes I see how people think I am over-analysing this, but given that he is a bit older I thought maybe he's a bit more "marriage"minded than me, given that he's sowed his wild oats, is very settled and all his mates are married or getting married. I am really into him, just don't want to think he's bringing me to this so "test the waters" so to speak.
Would never have looked at a 28 year old when I was 18 and I've always been out with guys my age or younger, first exeperiance of an "Older setttled guy" for me.Anywho thanks for the interest guys, was expecting 2 replies at most....have to go shopping now for fancy frock! (Yes,women are weird)

OP, apologies, I misread and thought he was 28 with a 10 yr gap.

I think you need to relax about the marriage thing. You're assuming without any reason. Yes his friends may be getting married now but give him the benefit of doubt that he sees more in you than a quick route to marriage.

IMO, a single man of 38 may quite like being single so may not be in any rush to change that.

I'd just go to the wedding and enjoy the day. You've met a guy you like, he likes you so don't look for complications.