Annoyed at parents

LegacyUser

Hi there,

I recently started 4th year (transition year) and I got my Junior Certificate results this month. I was generally pleased with them althought I think my parents may been dissapointed/angry at them since my brother well exceeded me.

So yesterday my mam told me that I'll be getting grinds in French and Irish during this year. Personally myself I am absolutely fuming at this decision even more so since they didn't discuss it with me. TBH anyway I object or bring up a valid point it goes in one ear and out the other.

I am quite hurt the way they will not take my views into account. I didnt do well in the french exam but Irish I got 1% off the B mark so I when I got another C in the JC I intended to get it rechecked, but as is life it didn't happen. I'm starting to regret that now because of these grinds! I don't what to say and TBH I was looking forward to this year due to no stress of homework, grinds, or exams but this year will be like 3rd year all over.

I need to know yours opinions on this and whats the next course of action.

Thanks in advance!

Taltos

Maybe try to see that they are only trying to help you secure your future as things get more competitive.

Maybe try sitting down again with your mum and trying to explain why you need a break.

OR.

Instead of grinds why not see about spending time in the gaelteacht or in France absorbing the culture and getting away from home? I was crap at both these languages too so much so that after the cert I dropped down to pass Irish. But after then spending 2 summers on the Aran islands - I did really well - so well that in the Oral the examiner told me I should have been doing honours. Wish I had done something similar for French...

I know you probably want to destress a bit and that is important but maybe on this you can compromise if you find the compromise that works better for you..

Toto Wolfcastle

I know it must seem like a pain but if it's just Irish and French grinds that you will be getting they wont take up too much time and you will be grateful when you go into 6th year and have a good foundation to tackle two demanding courses. You can still have fun in TY while going to grinds.

Firetrap

You might be mad at your parents but they're only doing what they think is right. I would guess they think that you didn't live up to your potential in the Junior Cert and that you need a bit of help to get better grades for the Leaving. The Junior Cert is an easier exam than the Leaving so if you follow the logic through, your two C grades in the Junior Cert means that you will struggle to get your honours. I'm assuming your parents hope you're going to get into college and they're obviously prepared to shell out for grinds so that you can achieve that goal.

Try not to get mad at them but go along with the grinds for the time being anyway. Then sit down with them and have a chat about it in a mature manner. Perhaps then they might listen.

PhysiologyRocks

Forget for a minute that your parents decided for you. Do you feel you might benefit from grinds? Realistically, would an extra few hours a week of study do you any harm?

When you've thought about this, discuss it rationally with your parents. Maybe you could promise to get grinds next year, if you feel that you simply can't face it just now. It mightn't be a bad idea to let them know that you would like to have been asked.

There's nothing inherently wrong with a C, but based on your post, you're capable of better. It might actually be a good idea to get some extra help. It'll open up more doors. The better your Leaving Cert is, the more options you have.

Best of luck.

ddef

as we speak, I am sitting in my room with my iPhone, writing this message after studying for the past 4 hours. And will be for the next 2. I'm in my final year in school and my house is a prison, and I wish to god I took grinds before now. I envy your situation with a passion. Your tale of woe is nothing compared to what you'll be up to in 2 years, and trust me when I say, it will fly in. Enjoy the freedom whileyou can.

jimmycrackcorm

unregistered wrote: »

I need to know yours opinions on this and whats the next course of action.

My opinion is that when you are a parent yourself then you'll be doing the exact same to your kids.

Wagon

ddef wrote: »

as we speak, I am sitting in my room with my iPhone, writing this message after studying for the past 4 hours. And will be for the next 2. I'm in my final year in school and my house is a prison, and I wish to god I took grinds before now. I envy your situation with a passion. Your tale of woe is nothing compared to what you'll be up to in 2 years, and trust me when I say, it will fly in. Enjoy the freedom whileyou can.

How exactly is that helpful?

OP, there's nothing ou can do really. Just take the grinds (they wont take up much time at all actually, only a couple of hours a week and you'll hardly notice them ) and you'll be pretty at good at two subjects in 5th year when everyone else has gone to ****e and has to start trying to get back into things again.

It was pissy form of them not to ask though.

kittenkiller

Listen, just go along with it.
As not talking your views and opinions into account goes (and it happens *alot*), this isn't too bad.

They want the best for you and want to help you achieve it.
You'll most likely be doing half nothing academically all year, a few extra hours here and there will be nothing.
Maybe try to compromise as to when the grinds are on so that it's not interfering with the rest of your plans too much?

Monkey61

To be honest they are your parents, and if you didn't do as well in your Junior Cert as you are capable of, then they have every right to decide that you are getting grinds and not take your views into account.

This is the perfect time to do them as they will take up a maximum of 2-4 hours a week and will set you up brilliantly for the next two years. That's hardly stress and pressure to be honest and it is highly unlikely that your life is so busy that you can't fit them in.

I think it is great to have parents that are interested in your education and will push you because you will really thank them for it later. Sometimes, they do know best.

dudara

Other posters have made a very good point here. Doing these grinds while in transition year should definitely lessen the load later in the senior cycle. Your parents actually had a good idea.

But, they really should have discussed it with you first. Maybe you could say to them that you appreciate their help, but you just wish that they spoke first to you.

eviltwin

I think ultimately it should be your decision OP. Granted your parents are concerned. I'm the parent of a secondary school student myself and can see where your folks are coming from but I think everyone needs some down time after the stress of the exams

If you really did try your best and still got average marks then I don't see what good pushing you into grinds will do. No amount of study will make you excel at something you just aren't strong in.

Besides you are what age now...15, 16? Personally I think at that age you should have a say in your own education.

All I can say is talk to them but if they are that adamant about getting you the grinds I dont know if you'll have much luck changing their minds. Maybe you could have a compromise and ask them to wait until next year though.

LabPixie

It is a bit of pain tohave the grinds foisted upon you, no dicussion, but it is probably a good idea in the long run.

In fifth and sixth year, you would really notice the extra workload of the grinds. TY is generally an easier year, academically, so it may not be a bad idea to take them now.

I agree with a previous poster that the best way to really learn a language it to immerse yourself in it (i.e. strict gaeltacht, or live in France) however if these options are not available to you (financially) then your parents may be doing the best they can with what they have.

Word of warning. People have commented on how the grinds will only be a couple of hours a week. Wrong! They are only a couple of hours a week if you go to the grind, and put in no work alongside them.

I have given grinds and there is a huge difference in the progress made by someone who takes an extra hour or so during the week to learn from the lesson, and someone who thinks that by going to the grind for an hour a week, it will work magic on them.

Overheal

Junior Cert is a fair indication of study habit tbph. And French gets much harder in Leaving. That and your aversion to studying anyway. Thats something you should think about. I didnt learn good study havits till 6th year - that was why I was in 6th year. edit: thats why I just typo'd habits. Damn!

If it were me doing it all over again, and in your situation, I would take advantage of the grinds while I still considered the subject Easy so if nothing else I could firmly reinforce what I knew about the subject. In the long run, its going to help make your 4th and 5th year French feel like nothing more than a stiff breeze.

By 6th year nobody was telling me what to do. nobody woke me up in the morning. nobody told me when to do my homework. my parents firmly believed by that point I was there for me. And I got up on time and I did 2-4 hours of study a night. Its all about how you approach it. Once I got in the groove the hours flew by, and it was nothing. I wouldnt sweat a few extra hours of grinds.

on a side note calling them Grinds is really negative.

jeckle

I agree your parents could have handled the situation better by discussing things with you, rather than just ‘laying down the law’. However, the end result would more than likely have been the same.

It’s amazing how much you can forget in a year if you’re not using a language regularly, so even a few hours a week will keep your mind tuned in & will definitely benefit you when you get into 5th year IMO.

Look at it this way: which would you prefer to do – get up to speed now or face the possibility of having to repeat your LC year when all your friends are off to college? A 1% difference in your LC results could mean the difference between the points you need & having to repeat.

It probably doesn’t seem like it now, but your parents are acting in your best interests – they just want to see you succeed & have the best chance in life & are prepared to spend money to help you achieve this.

Talk to them & let them know how you feel.

Drodan

I got a decent JC, was happy enough with it, went into fourth year thinking I could do nothing and just pick up the study patern when Sep 5th year came around. September became Christmas, Christmas became Easter, Easter became the next year and so on. I got into a horrible habbit and totally regret it wasting a year of my life in the Institute hating every moment of hearing annoying D4 people prattle on about wearing the same A&F top as yesterday.

I'm a vocater of learning from your own mistakes and not someone elses as it shapes you as a person, but there's some things I wouldn't wish on anyone. At the very least comprimise with your parents and take grinds in a group, make new friends!

Sophsxxx

Hey!

tbh, the fact is you'll be so grateful to them in two or three years time when you get your leaving results and have so many options open to you. Thyey're just making sure you have all the academic support you need before you face the really tough times.
I'm repeating the LC and I wish I had started the whole grinds and study thing early.
Just understand that there doing there best by you and you'll only be sacrificing two or however many hours a week!

Certi Layla!!

I think you should explain to your parents that you felt that you did well and that your hurt by there decision to make you do grinds without asking you how you felt about it. they may explain to you better then why they did, and you may find that they were very proud of you in your Jc and just thought you might feel comfortabler goin into 5th year after a few grinds. you may have took there reasons for doin it up wrong. i say tell them how you feel:D