Jealous boyfriends..

Quality

Do you find it cute or annoying...

Mr Quality can still get a bit thick after 14 years together..

He is a good looking, mature man and I love him to bits. (And he bloody knows it.)

But sometimes the green eyed monster comes out in him..

I would like to hear your experiences girls and guys.

liah

I'm not sure.

If it were excessive jealousy, it would drive me up the wall.

But I don't mind it when he gets a little defensive, it's kind of flattering in a peculiar way.

I like him being a little possessive, I am too. In a healthy way.
If it started getting excessive I'd tell him to stfu ;s

shellyboo

Flattering in very small measure. I'm pretty possessive myself, so I can't really give out about guys being jealous!

Jemmy

What Shellyboo said, a small amount is fine but more than that just wrecks my head! :mad:

helimachoptor

From my own experience pretty jealous when I was younger
now not really but its something which annoys my current GF but quite a bit more protective if that makes sense??

shellyboo

That protective vibe bugs me more than just plain jealousy, tbh. I know it comes from a good place, but I can't help but feel slightly patronised by it at times.

helimachoptor

Shellyboo I better explain I don't mean protective in the way that if I see a random punter chatting to my girl I grab my club and loincloth and stomp on over

More in the way of.. if its pretty obvious she's told them to f**k off and they aren't getting the message, I get blatantly obvious that she has no interest in them. In saying that I've had to "rescue" a couple of girlfriends in similar fashion over the last while.

Azureus

A lil bit of jealously is harmless, once it doesnt get in the way of the relationship (It has once or twice and himself has been swiftly told to cop on
It can be nice/flattering, and as well means he cant give out to me if i get a touch of the green eyed monster once in awhile :P

Quality

A friend of mines partner, head butted some fella that was dancing next to her/beside her the other week.

It was completely uncalled for imo.

Gyalist

Quality wrote: »

A friend of mines partner, head butted some fella that was dancing next to her/beside her the other week.

It was completely uncalled for imo.

Charming!

I have never been jealous and never will be.

jellie

Quality wrote: »

A friend of mines partner, head butted some fella that was dancing next to her/beside her the other week.

It was completely uncalled for imo.

bit extreme!! :eek:

small doses of jealousy is flattering (& sometimes hilarious, heh). but if it gets to a point where hes behaving like a fool and you cant even talk to a man then its too much. it shouldnt get to the point where its something youd argue over.

but a small bit is kinda nice. its like a reassurance that they care

The Big Red Button

Meah ...

If there's girls coming on to him, I find it quite amusing coz he gets all freaked out and wants me to rescue him, but I refuse to. It's funny watching him trying to escape without offending them. It's even funnier if he's out without me coz I get all these texts - "There's a scary blonde lady that keeps trying to dance with me - help me - what do I do?!" I've definitely never gotten jealous. If we're out and he sees a hot girl, he wouldn't hesitate to point her out to me. In fact, I'd often point her out to him first! He's never given me any reason to doubt him, so it would be quite insulting if I did.

And it's the same the other way round. Sure, I chat to fellas when I'm out. It's no big deal. If he got bothered by that, I'm be pretty annoyed. There's an implied insult there - basically, by getting jealous, he'd be implying that he thinks I'd cheat on him. I wouldn't like that at all.

We're both very comfortable with our relationship. Maybe some people who like the jealously and ensuing rows would be critical of my attitude ... I know some people think you need conflict and tension and drama or else you're just boring and settled. I don't feel that. I know that my fiance and I are blissfully happy together, there is nothing boring about our relationship, and I trust him 1000%. Personally I wouldn't enjoy it any other way.

shellyboo

helimachoptor wrote: »

Shellyboo I better explain I don't mean protective in the way that if I see a random punter chatting to my girl I grab my club and loincloth and stomp on over

More in the way of.. if its pretty obvious she's told them to f**k off and they aren't getting the message, I get blatantly obvious that she has no interest in them. In saying that I've had to "rescue" a couple of girlfriends in similar fashion over the last while.

I wouldn't mind that, in fact sometimes it's necessary!

I had an ex though who wasn't jealous in the least, but extremely protective. So while he'd be ok with me chatting to guys, if I was wandering around a nightclub with a few drinks on me, he'd be hovering in case I happened to stumble; constantly making sure I was ok, etc.

It bugged me because I'm well capable of looking after myself!

jellie

chatterpillar wrote: »

Meah ...

And it's the same the other way round. Sure, I chat to fellas when I'm out. It's no big deal. If he got bothered by that, I'm be pretty annoyed. There's an implied insult there - basically, by getting jealous, he'd be implying that he thinks I'd cheat on him. I wouldn't like that at all.

i dont think its fair to say jealousy implies you think theyd cheat. you can be jealous of all sorts of things. sure i was jealous when my ex picked up a female friend in a hug - not cause i thought hed cheat, cause she was really feckin light & he was able to!

chatterpillar wrote: »

We're both very comfortable with our relationship. Maybe some people who like the jealously and ensuing rows would be critical of my attitude ... I know some people think you need conflict and tension and drama or else you're just boring and settled. I don't feel that. I know that my fiance and I are blissfully happy together, there is nothing boring about our relationship, and I trust him 1000%. Personally I wouldn't enjoy it any other way.

i dont think cause someone can get a little bit jealous makes them any less comfortable with their relationship or happy. obviously if its at a stage where you cant talk to someone of the opposite sex then its at an unhealthy level, but i dont think a small amount does any harm.

helimachoptor

shellyboo wrote: »

I wouldn't mind that, in fact sometimes it's necessary!

I had an ex though who wasn't jealous in the least, but extremely protective. So while he'd be ok with me chatting to guys, if I was wandering around a nightclub with a few drinks on me, he'd be hovering in case I happened to stumble; constantly making sure I was ok, etc.

It bugged me because I'm well capable of looking after myself!

I'd be hovering but on to laugh when you fell over

shellyboo

helimachoptor wrote: »

I'd be hovering but on to laugh when you fell over

That I could have coped with!

The Big Red Button

sar84 wrote: »

i dont think its fair to say jealousy implies you think theyd cheat. you can be jealous of all sorts of things. sure i was jealous when my ex picked up a female friend in a hug - not cause i thought hed cheat, cause she was really feckin light & he was able to!

But if anything that's jealousy of her rather than of him isn't it? Not that there's anything wrong with that!!

sar84 wrote: »

i dont think cause someone can get a little bit jealous makes them any less comfortable with their relationship or happy. obviously if its at a stage where you cant talk to someone of the opposite sex then its at an unhealthy level, but i dont think a small amount does any harm.

Oh I know, a small amount of jealously doesn't do any harm. It's just that I know of friends who are in relationships where the girl is literally not allowed to go out without her boyfriend, and when they go out together they are surgically attached. And then if one of them so much as speaks to a member of the opposite sex, there are rows, tears, screaming matches ... followed by them making up and heading home early together. That's definitely not a healthy relationship in my opinion, but I agree that in small amounts it's not a problem. However jealousy just isn't an issue at all for me and my OH, and personally I prefer it that way.

SeekUp

I actually think my boyfriend enjoys when other people flirt with me, or look at me with a little more than good intentions.

The one time he has shown any actual jealousy was when I was in graduate school. A male friend and I were each in long-distance relationships, so we'd often hang out together, go to functions together, etc. . . . and he's really smart and quite endearing. Things were okay until my boyfriend found out that my friend wasn't gay! That hit a little close to home for him, I think.

Jealousy does nothing for me. It is something I can't relate to and find quite ugly in people.

I couldn't feel loved by someone who was possesive, controling or jealous.
Because I would feel they were too wrapped up in themselves, to even see me.

shellyboo

shellyboo wrote: »

That protective vibe bugs me more than just plain jealousy, tbh. I know it comes from a good place, but I can't help but feel slightly patronised by it at times.

I thought you liked that

http://boards.ie/vbulletin/showpost.php?p=59633838&postcount=73

jellie

chatterpillar wrote: »

But if anything that's jealousy of her rather than of him isn't it? Not that there's anything wrong with that!!

suppose its a bit of her, but it was the actual physical act of him picking her up more than her cause she was tiny.

(i lost weight & hes has picked me up since though, woohoo - lol i sound odd, i didnt lose weight so that he could pick me up, heh)

chatterpillar wrote: »

Oh I know, a small amount of jealously doesn't do any harm. It's just that I know of friends who are in relationships where the girl is literally not allowed to go out without her boyfriend, and when they go out together they are surgically attached. And then if one of them so much as speaks to a member of the opposite sex, there are rows, tears, screaming matches ... followed by them making up and heading home early together. That's definitely not a healthy relationship in my opinion, but I agree that in small amounts it's not a problem. However jealousy just isn't an issue at all for me and my OH, and personally I prefer it that way.

ok youre friends are the extreeeeeeeeeme cases. sounds a bit mental tbh.

SeekUp wrote: »

The one time he has shown any actual jealousy was when I was in graduate school. A male friend and I were each in long-distance relationships, so we'd often hang out together, go to functions together, etc. . . . and he's really smart and quite endearing. Things were okay until my boyfriend found out that my friend wasn't gay! That hit a little close to home for him, I think.

everything gets magnified in long distance, so what mightve been a small bit of jealousy probably gets blown out of proportion when the other person is so far away. i was in a class of men in college & i got on really well with 1 guy and did all my projects with him. at the beginning of the year he had a gf so it wasnt an issue but my ex seemed far more aware of all the time i was spending with the guy when he became single. it never became a problem, but hed make little jokes about it from time to time so i think it did bother him slightly but nothing major.

Lollipops23

My ex was mental jealous, to the extent that he got mad at me for talking to his brother at a family event:eek:

However, Mr Lollipops23 is not a jealous type, he's a laid-back sort anyway. He does get a bit funny if I fondly mention an ex from time-to-time, as I'm still good friends with one!

I'll happily admit that I'd be faaar more jealous!!I trust him implicitly, but I still get thick if he says he ran into an ex (one in particular, don't mind the other one at all).

Weidii

I was with a chap who would become seethingly jealous if I was chatting to other guys, though he never mentioned it 'til our relationship ended (I could always tell, though) I'm lucky this is the worst I've had, I know my sister was with someone when she was in school who used to ring up his friends going to the same Gaeltacht as her to spy on her and make sure she wasn't wearing skirts to the discos. Bizarre, no?

shellyboo

bluewolf wrote: »

I thought you liked that

http://boards.ie/vbulletin/showpost.php?p=59633838&postcount=73

There's a difference between knowing someone will be there for you emotionally/physically no matter what, and having someone stand beside you all night because they think you're going to fall over because you can't handle your drink. Which I can.

I like knowing that I have unconditional emotional support from a partner, but I don't need someone to physically hover over me in case I fall down, or "protect" me from other men.

MissFlitworth

Weidii wrote: »

I know my sister was with someone when she was in school who used to ring up his friends going to the same Gaeltacht as her to spy on her and make sure she wasn't wearing skirts to the discos. Bizarre, no?

That is quite impressively loony for a school aged boy :eek: Hopefully he mellowed with age and isn't still on unsupervised-skirt-wearing-watch with some poor young one

Trishis

chatterpillar wrote: »

Meah ...

If there's girls coming on to him, I find it quite amusing coz he gets all freaked out and wants me to rescue him, but I refuse to. It's funny watching him trying to escape without offending them. It's even funnier if he's out without me coz I get all these texts - "There's a scary blonde lady that keeps trying to dance with me - help me - what do I do?!" I've definitely never gotten jealous. If we're out and he sees a hot girl, he wouldn't hesitate to point her out to me. In fact, I'd often point her out to him first! He's never given me any reason to doubt him, so it would be quite insulting if I did.

And it's the same the other way round. Sure, I chat to fellas when I'm out. It's no big deal. If he got bothered by that, I'm be pretty annoyed. There's an implied insult there - basically, by getting jealous, he'd be implying that he thinks I'd cheat on him. I wouldn't like that at all.

We're both very comfortable with our relationship. Maybe some people who like the jealously and ensuing rows would be critical of my attitude ... I know some people think you need conflict and tension and drama or else you're just boring and settled. I don't feel that. I know that my fiance and I are blissfully happy together, there is nothing boring about our relationship, and I trust him 1000%. Personally I wouldn't enjoy it any other way.

hey can I just ask if you have ever been cheated on or lied to...have you ever caught an ex doing something like texting, emailing, flirting, etc with someone else...

The Big Red Button

Trishis wrote: »

hey can I just ask if you have ever been cheated on or lied to...have you ever caught an ex doing something like texting, emailing, flirting, etc with someone else...

Nope I've never experienced anything like that with any of my exes. And my OH hasn't had any experiences like that either. Which probably does explain our relaxed attitudes about the whole thing alright, to some extent!

chachabinx

I had to dump the only person I've ever loved because of his jealousy...

If I was out & seen a bloke I knew & was talking to him he'd go mad & fight with me & shout horrible things at me...

He'd do the same with girls he knew & I didn't care... we all have friends!

He'd always ask if I was ever with that person before.. most of the time it was a no but sometimes I'd be like "ye when I was 16".. he'd go mad... like Im not gonna ignore someone I knew & haven't seen in years & happened to kiss one night when I was drunk just because he wants me too... we all have a past... and another thing is I would never lie even though it was alot easier to...

He has loads of female friends that he was close to & one night we were fighting & I said don't tell me you've never been with any of the girls... and he said "NO 100% NO" and I found out he was with half them... he knew what sort of person I was... Im open minded I don't give a **** about things like that... why lie? Thats just betraying the trust..

The worst part about it is is that he'd try & tell me what to do I'd laugh in his face & he was soo freaked out by it... so insecure...

He'd make up **** in his own head that was 100% not true... like if I was out with the girls & I had make-up on he'd be like ye you must have been out with fella's too... if I was I would have said so.... I don't know how many times I told him I dont lie...

The more I think of it Im glad I dumped the c*nt... good riddence!!

chachabinx

SeekUp wrote: »

I actually think my boyfriend enjoys when other people flirt with me, or look at me with a little more than good intentions.

The one time he has shown any actual jealousy was when I was in graduate school. A male friend and I were each in long-distance relationships, so we'd often hang out together, go to functions together, etc. . . . and he's really smart and quite endearing. Things were okay until my boyfriend found out that my friend wasn't gay! That hit a little close to home for him, I think.

Ye but you lied to him... so what do you expect? Him to congradulate you on being a liar?
If you hadn't have lied in the first place???

chachabinx

Trishis wrote: »

hey can I just ask if you have ever been cheated on or lied to...have you ever caught an ex doing something like texting, emailing, flirting, etc with someone else...

I found my ex texting a 16 year old when he was 24... I didn't even get upset about it... if it had of been someone his age I would have been in bits but the fact that she was 16 just made me realise how sad he really was... I actually laughed when he accidently sent the text to my best mate

I rang him & said "oh, your a paedofile, IM GONNA TELL EVERYBODY"

He went ****in crazy & I just laughed down the phone... much better then caring I think...

I did make it my business to tell everyone I knew & he knew for that matter...

Its been 2 years & his mates still rip it out of him :D:D

The Big Red Button

chachabinx wrote: »

Ye but you lied to him... so what do you expect? Him to congradulate you on being a liar?
If you hadn't have lied in the first place???

She didn't say that she lied to him! He might have just assumed the other fella was gay.

sam34

i had the misfortune to be going out with a guy who was very jealous, possesive and controlling, horrendously so. he would start a fight if i was going out without him, basically ensuring i didnt enjoy the night cause i had that crap hanging over me. alternatively, he would insist on coming with me, or would "happen to be passing" and would drop in whereever i was. i would get quizzed on what emn were tehre, what they said to me etc.

we were working together, and if another guy spoke to me at work, he'd claim they fancied me and then would say he didnt want me talking to them anymore.

he was a manipulative psychopath.

it was very difficult relationship to break away from, but thankfully i did and havent looked back since.

nowadays, i will not tolerate a sniff of jealousy or possessiveness from a man, one hint of it and he'd be gone.

no man is worth enduring that crap for.

spitfireIRL

after reading all this i think i'm gonna back off from my gf i'm quite a bit overprotective and this is kinda eye-opening.. thanks ! :rolleyes:

Raze_them_all

I once had a girlfriend give out to me for never getting jealous, then the time I did she gave out to me for not trusting her.

No winning there!

hightower1

Women are wayyyyyy more jealous than men. Just not as obvious about it.... little things they do to mark their territory is hilarious. men are obvious too but we tend to know it and dont hide it, girls are gas they are dead certain its subtle. lol. A stoke of the hand as the offending girl is watching etc.

Novella

Biggest turn off ever in a guy is insecurity. I can't stand it when a guy feels the need to "mark his territory" or whatever, especially if the guy isn't even a boyfriend. As for boyfriends, I dunno! I don't really do anything that'd make a guy jealous so if he was, that'd probably bother me. A tiny bit of jealousy is flattering though, but not of the accusation variety!

The Sweeper

Jealousy - meh. Depends how it manifests.

If it manifests in an effort to control anything I do or say, or the people I see, or how much time I spend with them, or anything else along those lines, then goodnight.

xcarriex

I think a little jealousy is fine, to an extent, i was in a very possesisve relationship, and it destroyed my confidence and he manipulated me so much i felt it was wrong/bad to chat to someone, its been over almost 2 years and im so independant, i can take a lil jealousy, or ya know if things are getting a bit crazy or whatnot its nice of them to offer to look after ya! But i have a friend and her BF just cant handle that we like to go out on a saturday and more often than not end up falling to bed at 7 or 8 am, now my boy likes to spend Sunday with the lads in the pub, so in the aft when he is giddy and im recovered we can kick back and have a laugh, but my mate spends the day arguin and re-assuring her BF that she didnt cheat or do something she shouldnt have, and i just find it hard to believe that she can allow this to happen!

skywards

hightower1 wrote: »

Women are wayyyyyy more jealous than men.

I must be a freak then :pac:

TheCardHolder

I'm a bit of a hypocrite when it comes to it.

Sparky

Recently I have found that I can get very jealous.

Drummerboy08

Long time lurker, but when I seen this, I just had to post.

If my girlfriend spotted either me talking to another female, or another female talking to me on a night out, I'd end up like this -



She gets extremely jealous and worked up over things like that. Sometimes it does annoy me, but most times I let it slide.

Me on the other hand, well. She's got lots of guy friends, some of whom I'm friendly enough with too, and some that I wouldnt know too well. We're together nearly 5 years, and she was good friends with my best friend before we even met!

I've accepted that she talks to other guys, but I'll admit that when I see here talking to a guy that I dont recognise/know, I'll get a little bit jealous. Usually walking over and putting my arm around her waist puts me back into my box though. :D

I guess alot of it is to do with trust. I know my OH is a poor, poor liar, and I can tell her lies from a mile away, so I know she would never go behind my back because I could tell straight away. Going on this point, you may think that she must not trust moi at all (based on the above image) but I think she is just a very protective person.

4zn76tysfajdxp

Drummerboy08 wrote: »

If my girlfriend spotted either me talking to another female, or another female talking to me on a night out, I'd end up like this -

Punching her? Bit extreme...

Professey Chin

As a bf I cant remember ever being jealous.I guess ive just trusted every girl ive actually gotten into a relationship with.
I have been known to get pretty jealous though when someone else gets the girl I want but thats another story