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Found abuser

  • 23-09-2009 8:27pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    I have just come across the facebook page of a person who abused me as a child.

    What should i do?


Comments

  • #2
    LadyJ
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,122 ✭✭✭LadyJ


    What do you mean exactly? Do you want to contact them? Know more about them? Report them? What's going through your head?


  • #3
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Ive often thought of finding this person and confronting them.

    Repoting them - would anything come of this? my word against thiers.

    As many other people might have wanted to do - physical harm the person.

    I dont even know if they live the last known address, which was down the road from mine.


  • #4
    LadyJ
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,122 ✭✭✭LadyJ


    I suggest you speak to a counsellor before doing anything whatsoever. Physically harming this person, while I can understand why you would want to do it, is really not the answer.

    You have to confront your own feelings on this before you think about a confrontation with your abuser. It is important that you come to terms with what has happened to you and therapy is really the best and safest place to do that.

    I'm really not sure what the procedure for reporting something like this is if it happened a long time ago.... Maybe someone else might be able to shed more light. I assume it can still be done though.

    As for the Facebook page, looking at that will only torture you further. Please see a therapist or a counsellor and explore your feelings within that setting.


  • #5
    LadyMayBelle
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,096 ✭✭✭LadyMayBelle


    If you speak to someone professionally they are obliged to report the disclosure IF you give the name; it is a statutory responsible within the HSE and other organizations. If you give the name, then a check will have to be done to ensure the safety of other children who may be in his/her life. If you don't mention the name you can discuss your options. Usually a counsellor will indicate that to you at the start of a session, or at least stop you when it may seem you might disclose. Just just advice.

    Good luck with it OP, I can't imagine what must be going through your head right now. Be clear before making a decision.


  • #6
    miec
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 856 ✭✭✭miec


    Hi Op

    As suggested by LadyJ I would urge you to go for counselling, this type of trauma does not go away. I would highly recommend the rape crisis centre, there is an office in Dublin but they have other offices around the country, they deal with rape issues and sexual abuse.

    As for reporting the crime this person committed, the garda will take it seriously, I would recommend ringing the domestic violence unit, they also handle sexual crimes for advice, the number is 01 6663430. Talk it over with them, they will tell you what happens, if you do report it you can go to your local garda station (you can request a female officer to take your statement). It may not go to court but the act of making it public can be very self empowering, also if you go to the rape crisis centre, they can help you make a statement and some counsellors will go with you as a support. Whatever you decide you will need support for this, and yes whilst violence may seem like a good idea, it won't change what has happened to you, take care and good luck.


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