Advice about age

LegacyUser

opinions please

sexual encounter between 17 year old girl and 24 year old man....

acceptable? legal?

RossFixxxed

Legal: Yep
Acceptable: Mmmm... not for me to be honest, school kid and a grown up in my eyes...

Terodil

RossFixxxed wrote: »

Acceptable: Mmmm... not for me to be honest, school kid and a grown up in my eyes...

Dunno. As long as it was consensual and safe and both parties involved had the same expectations, I don't see the problem.

Colonel_McCoy

Legal , in my opinion 17 is a bit young for a 24 year old........maturity levels etc

Porkpie

Come on it's only 7 years age gap. Personally I don't see what the big deal is. A 17 year old girl has the capacity to be much more mature than some girls in their mid twenties.

Age of consent is 17, so no problem legally. I'd agree with Terodil.

tbh

legally ok, but morally - dodge, I have to say.

Porkpie

I don't understand, do people think the guy is really taking advantage of the 17 year old or something? Right, if it was a guy in his forties I would question it. But the guy is only 7 years older than her. He's not plying her with drink is he? If it's consensual, what's the big deal? Would people feel the same way if it was a 17 year old boy about to sleep with a 24 year old girl?

Oryx

It depends entirely on the 17yo and the 24yo, personality and maturity levels. With some couples it would be fine, with others it would raise eyebrows.

If you have to ask the question, there must be some doubts over the suitability.

LegacyUser

I remember being told of the "x/2 +7" rule. Where x is your age. In this case 24/2 + 7 is 19 and would be too young.

But I think this is a very crude formula! Afterall it's all about maturity levels. I've known some 17 years olds to be quet grown up and then some to be complete idiots. So it's your own judgement call on it. I'd have to know the 17 year old girl before I could say it's good or bad.

I do think that age gaps are not really about age but rather about experiences in life. A 17 year old will be finishing school/starting college. A 24 year old will generally have done all that. So that's where a lot of problems come from.

LegacyUser

It's grand. I did it last year. No moral quams. Still talk to the girl.

Terodil

What does 'life experience', 'stages in life', ... matter if all we're talking about is a (I suppose single) 'sexual encounter'?

LegacyUser

I have to say that if it was a daughter of mine who was 17 and the guy was 24 I wouldnt be too happy

LegacyUser

I think you are right Terodil. 'Stages in life' and 'life expereince' means nothing when it's just a sexual encounter. I guess that part of the advice was about relationships in general.

If I was 24 and having an "encounter" with a 17 year old I think I'd want to know her enough to make sure it's not messing with her head. It would not be right for him just to be poking her while she thinks there's a relationship in it.

AddictedToYou

If you both really want it to work, then it can. But you need to make sure you're both on the same page as to what ye want, because it's probably a bigger deal for the 17yo so you need to be careful that you don't end up hurting her..

lulubell

When i was 17 i started seeing a 25 yr old guy. My parents weren't 2 impressed, to say the least! But it never bothered me, I was happy & in Love. I'm now 30, he's 38 & were very happy in our marriage with 2 beautiful children

RossFixxxed

Terodil wrote: »

Dunno. As long as it was consensual and safe and both parties involved had the same expectations, I don't see the problem.

Yeah that's why I'm not brandishing the flaming torch and demanding he be strung up. But it wouldn't be for me at all, she's probably still in school and that's just wrong in my mind. At the end of the day it's down to the two of them.

BumbleB

I did that before, she was a succesful model seen it all really,and even though she was 17 ,she was 100,000 times more streetwise and clever than me !.

Dudess

Porkpie wrote: »

Come on it's only 7 years age gap.

That's relevant if you're talking about a 28-year-old and a 35-year-old, but in this case, the seven-year gap is much bigger due to the different stages in life each person is at.

But OP, I don't think there's anything wrong with it once nobody is being taken advantage of.

Pretty_Pistol

It has been said already but it depends on how mature she is. I'd be worried that you're taking advantage of the girl.

When I was 16/17 one of the girls in my group was seeing a 20 something guy. I thought it was wrong at the time. I remember looking at his friends and they were just far too old to be hanging around with girls our age.

The fact that it is legal, you have to judge whether it is right to get in a sexual relationship with this girl (which she still is at that age).

RossFixxxed

I can't imagine me and my mates turning up outside a school to pick up one of the kids for a date... I mean that's the point.

7 year age gap is not relevant at this stage, what if he was 17... you know? It's grand after 20 imo... Just seems slightly creepy.

kittenkiller

When I was 17 and with a few older guys I thought it was great and that it meant I must be really mature for them to give me the time of day....

Looking back 10 years later.... Creepy!
I have *way* more respect now for the guys who legged it when they found out what age I was.

Do you want to be remembered as the creepy guy?

xXxhotstuff xXx

when i was 16 i was having 'sexual encounters' as ye call them with a 24yr old guy for 6months and he didn take advantage of me.. i dont see anything wrong with an age gap like that so long as the two people dont want different things.. the guy i was with wanted a relationship, i didnt, so i ended up having to tell him i couldnt keep seeing him if he didn accept that.. he let it go for a while but then started on at me about it again so i broke it off with him.. its completely about maturity and what the people involved want not about age so if theyre happy so be it, nothing wrong with it!

LegacyUser

I'm 23. I'm casually seeing an 18 year old (she told me that she was 19 when I met her though), before that I was seeing a different 18 year old, before that again I was seeing a 24 year old.

To be honest the two 18 year olds are just as mature, if not moreso than the 24 year old. It's perfectly legal to have sex with a 17 year old, so it basically comes down to your own judgement, if you feel a bit guilty about it (or feel like you're taking advantage of her naiveté in some way) then something may be awry, otherwise go for it.

By the way, I know that a lot of 17/18/19 year old girls do actively seek out older guys.

eviltwin

It depends on the people I think particulary the 17 year old. There are big differences between some of them at that age

Put it this way, if the girl was my daughter and particulary naive I would be very uncomfortable with it. If she had a bit of cop then I might not mind so much.

In saying that, I started seeing my husband when I was 18 and he was 24. No one batted an eyelid and it was never a problem

ibFoxer

No problems here, as has been said it depends on the 2 individuals involved. Some 17/18yo girls are far more mature and sensible than girls in their mid twenties. A situation like this cant be looked at from a strictly age gap point of view.

Besides im 7 years older than my other half and i can honestly say i have more in common with her, and are far happier, than any other girl i was ever involved with previously (she's 18, btw)

jimmycrackcorm

Porkpie wrote: »

I don't understand, do people think the guy is really taking advantage of the 17 year old or something? Right, if it was a guy in his forties I would question it. But the guy is only 7 years older than her. He's not plying her with drink is he? If it's consensual, what's the big deal? Would people feel the same way if it was a 17 year old boy about to sleep with a 24 year old girl?

You raise an interesting point her - what's the logic behind a difference in whether the guy dating a 17 year old is 24 or 40? Where's the tipping point in the age gap?

I think people only consider the age gap based on the perception of common age differences in relationships. i.e. the larger the gap the less common it is to come across those relationships. However in real terms there is nothing to suggest that a 17 year old and a 40 year old who share some common interests cannot form the bonds of a relationship based on that. It's simply not common because usually the interests of people at different ages vary.

Eric Cartman

2 year rule is retarded, id say your good to go an all fronts there man