Anyone think it's impossible to meet people???

LegacyUser

Just wondering if it's me, and there's somethings wrong with me....

Single, haven't been on a date in 4 years. Since that particular guy, I've only met one guy I kinda liked, and even that was over 2 years ago. nothing happened there, he was with someone.
I'm sociable, gym it, joined kayak club recently, work with ppl my own age (although most are settled/attached) so I'm not living in a hole. I go out fairly often, maybe 2 good nights in a month. Would like to go out more often, but it's down to lack of money or most of my friends are busy or in rel's. So I do my best to put myself out there.

I sometimes feel like I'm constantly in the wrong street/town/pub/workplace/office within a workplace et etc... other people always seem to just 'bump' into people so much easier than I do.
In addition, the other thing is, I wanna meet someone that i fancy/click with. Again, I wonder is it me but some of my friends seem to fancy all the guys around, i.e meet guy they fancy on a more regular basis. Do I have some kinda sex drives issues maybe, that I don't get turned on often enough... I'm not fussy with a guy's looks, not into most of the conventionally good looking men out there; In fact I like them scruffy, and I'm not after a millionaire... I do believe there are plenty of single men out there who would be a good match for me, but it is proving seriously difficult to physical meet them!!

Anyone out there feel the same in any way?, guys/girls whoever....?

minidazzler

Have you tried internet dating. It does work for people.

ALOT of people find it hard to meet people, so don't feel down, but you really have to put yourself out there.

Sign up to an internet dating site, get to know someone through that.

Or even on boards, (But I advise you don't actively search for men on boards.) there are people who hook up and go on dates when they find each other interesting.

There are MILLIONS of men out there, so go find yourself one, even if it is online, just be safe about it.

iguana2005

Hear ya girl...same situation but am nearing 36!! Eeekkk!!! Im actually to start feel like a fridget at this stage as dont go for the casual shag on a saturday night..a lot of older women I hang out with seem to get more action then me it seems(although drink always involved)...find most irish guys suspect anyhow...am finding it increasingly difficult now as have been sober for over 5 months so when going out usually stay in restauants with friends(who are married..!!)..
Go travelling! Thats where i met my last partner...yummy...tried the internet dating(yawn...)..and enjoy single life!

LegacyUser

Op here,
Iguana, good luck, hope you meet someone!! men should want our type, not the cheap type.
as for the suggestions about internet dating - I'm not living in a city, have signed up to one of these sites, but unfortunately all the mails i get are from farmers looking for wives.
I'm planning on doing a round the world trip in a years time!
Time will tell!

Liam Byrne

iguana2005 wrote: »

find most irish guys suspect anyhow

And the annoying sweeping generalisation award of the week goes to..... :rolleyes:

Have you MET "most irish guys", iguana ?

OP - it's obviously not "impossible" to meet decent people; difficult, yes; but impossible, no - otherwise no-one would meet anyone.

But in letting yourself think and phrase it as "impossible", you're starting on the wrong foot.

Yes, there are people out there who are FAR too desperate and clingy, looking for "partners" rather than meeting someone who might turn out to be one, and there are people out there who are players and insincere...

But for everyone one of each of those there are decent people too.

The usual advice that people have in this situation is to stop "looking" and go with the flow......sometimes that works, sometimes not.

But NONE of us here can say what tomorrow will bring, so who knows ?

All I know is that if Kerry had told themselves it was "impossible" to win on Sunday, they wouldn't have won; "difficult", yes, but they didn't give up and so they managed it.

Best of luck!

G-Money

Sort of in the same boat myself, male and 32. Quite a few people I know seem to just bump into people they like and something happens. I on the other hand might as well be invisible on a night out.

It does get to you after a while. Inevitably for me I've started to just assume there's something wrong with me and/or fundamentally undesireable about me.

I'm overweight so I know that's affecting my confidence and self esteem a lot. The stupid thing is that it takes me a while to do anything about it, even when I know I need to.

I've tried internet dating and met quite a few girls from it and I'm actually supposed to be meeting a girl I met through Facebook this Friday night. However to be honest I'm not holding out much hope. I haven't clicked with anyone I met from internet dating, no matter how promising it seemed beforehand. I guess as a result I'm not expecting this to be any different.

I don't know if it was me or someone else who suggested some sort of section on boards where single's could post their info and others could get in touch. There seems to be an equal enough balance of males and females on here who can't seem to meet anyone.

The only time recently that things changed was around October/November last year. I was heading out with a few new friends who were very positive and encouraging and good craic. I'd lost about 2 stone and was making a bit more of an effort to dress up. I also would try to smile a lot more and try to be positive and have good craic. Amazingly I seemed to bump into girls who were interested every week or two weeks. For some reason I never capitalised on this and in the end I never even got so much as a peck on the cheek. However it was mostly my own fault as I was drunk and there were a few occasions where the girls basically threw themselves at me and I did nothing. It's like my brain just shuts down and nothing happens.

LegacyUser

I tend to think that people who hook up more easily have less criteria about a partner.

Me, I'm fussy. I really have to click with someone to bother meeting them again and that doesn't happen very often.

It did with internet dating a few years back - I enjoy wordy witty people with a sense of humour and the emailing back and forth made sure that was the case.

I never really went out to clubs to meet Mrs. Right (as I can't converse in them, nor can I hear) and your local may not be the best place either.

If you'd like to go out more, then do - they don't need to be mad night out but you'd probably be better going for less drinks more regularly. Also, midweek is a better time as places are less manic and busy.

Definitely give the internet thing a go for a while

Jo King

In order to meet people you have to follow the laws of probability. Going out twice a month, probably with the same people every time and probably to the same places each time cuts down the chances of meeting anybody interesting. Of fifty people you meet only one will be interesting. Therefore hundreds must be met in order to get a few good candidates.
Make a point of cultivating different social circles. Go to non-standard places like public meetings, art exhibitions and public lectures. Talk to everybody, even those who do not appear to be interesting. Do not keep bringing the same friends along everywhere. Try and go a few places on your own. The thing to do is keep changing. Becoming a creature of habit and repeating the same pattern all of the time will limit the possibility of meeting anyone who might be life changing. Experiment with different looks and styles. Sooner or later a winning combination will be hit.

MIN2511

I tried the internet dating thing... Eh, i did get the attention, i enjoyed it.. I did go on loads of dates and i didn't meet anyone worthwhile.. So after 3months i deleted my profile!
There are no men online(not for me anyways), there are no men in clubs, none in pubs and none at night time courses...

Now i am focusing on me and me only! Getting another job, househunting for a place on my own, start a masters next year, saving up and going travelling in the next two years..
If i meet someone i'd be happy and if i don't no worries... It's not the end of the world!

Oh and i am 24...


Back to you OP, why don't you concentrate on you.. .Go travelling etc... Do other things that would make you happy

Pinky Pixie

Hi OP

I'm no dating expert but I do get asked out everytime I'm out which is alot especially when I'm not out with my boyfriend! I think the main reason is because I'm so chatty. I always get chatting to half the bar when I'm out on a night out or anywhere I go to be honest. Most guys are just too nervous to approach a girl in fear conversation will run out in two seconds. Just be yourself and keep your independence. Guys are bound to notice you when your relaxed and not just on the prowl. I'm not afraid to get messy and have the craic. Just have fun and be friendly, you will find someone easy peasy!

Liam Byrne

MIN2511 wrote: »

There are no men online(not for me anyways), there are no men in clubs, none in pubs and none at night time courses...

Hadn't realised I was THAT invisible, and it's funny, I don't even remember talking to you online or anywhere else.....

Not attempting a chat-up, BTW; just pointing out (again) that sweeping and incorrect generalisations are no help to the OP.