Boyfriends Snaggletooth

LegacyUser

Hi Guys,

Before I begin let me just say that I love my boyfriend with all my heart and I am not a shallow person, or so I thought.

My boyfriend was away with a bunch of friends last weekend in Wicklow. They did clay pigeon shooting and quad biking. My boyfriend was apparnetly going over a ramp on his bike when he sped up and the bike overturned. Luckily for him there one of the professionals was close by and helped him up. He was absolutely fine thank God except for his front tooth. It got knocked out. He went straight to an emergency dentist who said that due to the way he fell and the nerves endings he won't be able to replce it for a couple of months.
He went to the Dentist yesterday who scheduled and orthodonist appointmnet but they said the same thing. It can be fixed but needs time to heal.

I am so glad he's okay but he looks ridiculous. He looks like Cletus the slack-jawed yokel in the Simpsons. I love him and don't want to sound mean but I cannot have sex with him looking like a snaggletooth.

I know people saw if you love someone it doesn't matter if they put on weight etc but it's simply not true. I do love him but I am no longer attracted to him.

If the same happened to me I wouldn't expect him to still find me sexy. How can you find gummy sexy??

What am I going to do?

xcarriex

Imagine how the poor chap feels, has a bad accident, and is going around like this for a few months, apart from worrying about work/outings, or maybe people taking pictures as a constant reminder... he also has to deal with the fact his 'loving' girlfriend doesnt find him attractive...

I think you need to maybe let go of the appearance, lads can be cruel to each other (and think its funny), be the loving girlfriend you claim to be and be there for him!

Wagon

colgatemate wrote: »

I am so glad he's okay but he looks ridiculous. He looks like Cletus the slack-jawed yokel in the Simpsons

you sound lovely :rolleyes:

I love him and don't want to sound mean but I cannot have sex with him looking like a snaggletooth.

Well, ye failed.

I know people saw if you love someone it doesn't matter if they put on weight etc but it's simply not true. I do love him but I am no longer attracted to him.

Because a tooth got knocked out!? That can be replaced in a few months! He'll have it back in before christmas!

If the same happened to me I wouldn't expect him to still find me sexy. How can you find gummy sexy??

It's one tooth that will be replaced in the near future. He isn't gummy!

What am I going to do?

Break up with him maybe? For fúck sake, if you are gonna be this mean to him because of an accident he's much better off without you! You're either young and stupid or old and really stupid. If you are prepared to dump your boyfriend over this than you have bigger problems than a missing tooth.

LegacyUser

I know it sounds very shallow and I feel silly even typing this but honestly he looks so awful.
I do love him and I have no intention of breaking up over it but everytime he speaks there's a big gap and he kind of spits now when he talks. It's getting fixed but not till February or thereabouts.

Should I pretend that I don't mind when really I do?

Look, lets be realistic here, everyday I read boards and I see guys complaining there gf has put on weight or that the sex has dwindled etc. It is a problem. People change over the years and if you are no longer attracted to someone are you supposed to just pretend you are because of 'love'?

People won't admit it, but if there partner gets fat or there face got deformed they would no longer fancy them. Simple as. It's not a crime!

scanlas

The OP is just expressing her feelings, she cant help how she feels about it. She clearly doesn't want these feelings.

LegacyUser

Damn OP...its just a tooth missing and one that will eventually get fixed. Yeah it mightnt look great but he's still the same boyf.
How would you feel if you got pregnant and he was posting on boards about how he doesnt find you attractive anymore cos you've temporarily put on weight?

LegacyUser

You have a lot of growing up to do if all it takes is one knocked out tooth to put you off. I am truly horrified at the shallowness of some people. You should be thinking about your poor boyfriend and how he feels, and what a knock to his confidence this could be, rather than making fun of him and worrying about how you'll bear to look at it.

kmick

Paper bag over head? Ball gag? Lights off? Fake tooth made from Lux white soap?

Elessar

This is the most ridiculous post I have ever read on this forum.

He's temporarily missing a tooth because of a bad accident and you're not into him anymore? Grow the hell up lady. You are obviously very young and naive. God forbid your OH ever gets old.

Maybe, I dunno, wait until he's had a new implant to have sex? Can you wait that long? Is your boyfriend just an object to you?

I am not one for generalisations but to be honest I'd say your boyfriend really would be better off without you as his girlfriend.

opinion guy

colgatemate wrote: »

What am I going to do?

+1 for grow up.
Bed glad he didn't split his skull and end up in intensive care

shellyboo

Two words: doggy style.

ManOfMystery

+2 on the grow up.

He's exactly the same person as he was before, just minus a tooth for a temporary period of time. Not an arm, or a leg, no mental trauma, no issues ............... just a tooth.

Seriously, get over it.

helimachoptor

OP... my god...

I had a front tooth knocked out many years ago.. Got a half assed replacement but you have no idea how much this will affect his confidence and you telling him you cant go near him is unreal.

How would you feel if you put on a couple of pounds and he told you to get your lard arse to the gym before he'll get naked with you again.

Grow up

Anti

I hope yous be trollin OP, If not, you need to get a grip. Do him a favor and dump him, so he wont have to put up with someone like you.

Nevyn

As per the charter AND the stickie the top of the forum if you think a post maybe a troll report the post do not post that in thread as it is off topic and not helpful.

iguana

He has had a bike accident which has resulted in damage to his teeth and you are no longer attracted to him? What would you have done if he had a scarred his face? Or if it had been a fire and his face got burned?

username123

iguana wrote: »

He has had a bike accident which has resulted in damage to his teeth and you are no longer attracted to him? What would you have done if he had a scarred his face? Or if it had been a fire and his face got burned?

Shocking though it seems there ARE peope out there so shallow that they would dump a good relationship over a cosmetic issue. In this case a temporary cosmetic issue.

I think you should leave your BF as he could probably do better (missing tooth and all) than someone who bases a relationship on the looks of the other person.

Judge Judy gave a fine quote today 'beauty fades, dumb is forever'.

You do realise that peoples looks dont last dont you? Have a look around you, see many people in their 60s and 70s who are gorgeous and sexy with perfect teeth? What do you think happens, we all leave our respective partners as they get older and their looks fade?

You need to grow up before engaging in any kind of serious relationship. Youre not mature enough to be in a relationship.

ManOfMystery

colgatemate wrote: »

Look, lets be realistic here, everyday I read boards and I see guys complaining there gf has put on weight or that the sex has dwindled etc. It is a problem. People change over the years and if you are no longer attracted to someone are you supposed to just pretend you are because of 'love'?

People won't admit it, but if there partner gets fat or there face got deformed they would no longer fancy them. Simple as. It's not a crime!

It's great if we can all fancy our partners until the day we die, but as some posters have already pointed out, looks fade for everyone.

Fancying someone is what brings you together; being in love is what keeps you together.

The fact that this bothers you so much (and lets keep it in perspective - he's not disfigured or unrecognisable, it's only a tooth) makes me wonder how much you love him.

silvervixen84

If you're feeling embarrased/repulsed by it, take a moment to imagine how he's feeling about it. He's the one who has to has to face the public for a few months without his front tooth - that's bound to knock a bit of confidence out of the most self-assured person. The last thing he needs is the person he loves making him feel even more cr@ppy about it.

If you decide to tell him you don't find him attractive anymore, you may break up anyway, or at least cause some serious damage to your relationship. Is it worth throwing away what you have with the man you "love with all your heart" over a temporarily missing tooth?

somethingwitty

There may be times in a relationship when you might not find them sexy or whatever (for whatever reason), but if you truly love them they will always be beautiful.

skooterblue

Its a bit like desperate house wives:
When the two gay guys were getting married and they had a falling out about the Ice sculpture. Lynnette said something like:
" I dont think you should get married, because if you can agree on something stupid like an ice sculpture, how are you going to be there for each other when some thing big like Cancer hits you? "


If you can't deal with a small cosmetic incident that can be repaired in time,
How are you going to deal with when a kid gets sick, the family business looks shaky, mortgage repayments not being met, alcohol problems, depression, bereavement and day to day problems, real problems when they arise.

kjl

leave her alone, she is posting her true feelings on a anon message board.

Has he considered getting a temporary tooth, you can get one the just looks cosmetic but you can take it out at night, its a very inexpensive way to solve this problem

Maybe you do need to look past looks, but I do know how you feel, its a turn off.

LegacyUser

You don't love him or what you thought was love most definately isn't. Let me tell you something about love OP. When you love someone, a temporary missing tooth wouldn't make you bat an eyelid. You'd be much more concerned about putting an arm around your fella and giving him some reassurance.

You need to have a long hard look at your relationship and be totally honest with yourself. One day you might actually find true love and you'll understand what i'm talking about. In the meantime you need to seriously think about ending your relationship and letting the fella move on.

I'm not having a go at you by the way. Its just that your posts smack of someone who has blurred the lines between love and lust. You fancy him somewhat with all his teeth, but you defo don't love him. Let him go.

104494431

Unregistered wrote: »

temporarily put on weight?

yeeaaaaahhhh, temporarily

Silverfish

104494431 wrote: »

yeeaaaaahhhh, temporarily

Infracted, if that's the only thing you can contribute in this thread.

opinion guy

Let me put it slightly more constructively OP.

If you really love the guy - PRETEND like it doesn't bother you for just a couple of months. If you chipped your tooth is that not what you would expect you OH to do for you ?

Porkpie

I can understand why people might think the OP is a little shallow but ffs will people lay off her for a minute? She came here looking for advice, all she's getting is a hard time so far.

OP, realistically, what can you do? If you really do love him and want to stay with him you should be willing to put up with his missing tooth for a few months. If you can't, I understand totally. It would put me off if that happened a girl I was seeing. I'm not judging you. But if you can't bear the sight of his toothless grin and if it's really getting to you I think you should break it off with him, for both your sakes. Be sensitive to the guy's feelings though, don't let him think it's because of his missing tooth!

opinion guy

U know what?
I don't think so. OP's attitude seems fairly shallow and I think people are just reacting to that. The poor boyfriend got his tooth knocked out in an accident for heavens sake.

Toto Wolfcastle

I actually cant believe what I have just read. Get over it. It's a tooth. My ex had his four bottom front teeth removed because he had a tumour in his mouth. Do you think I went around worrying about how he looked? No, because I actually loved him at the time and wanted to make sure he was ok. It's one tooth and you don't want to have sex with him? Honestly, that's just ridiculously stupid.

Darthhoob

janeybabe wrote: »

I actually cant believe what I have just read. Get over it. It's a tooth. My ex had his four bottom front teeth removed because he had a tumour in his mouth. Do you think I went around worrying about how he looked? No, because I actually loved him at the time and wanted to make sure he was ok. It's one tooth and you don't want to have sex with him? Honestly, that's just ridiculously stupid.

similar here, my OH had to have 5 teeth out to get to an abcess he had for years (he had a dentist phobia so didn't get it sorted before then). he had his gums all stitched up and had to drink and eat through a straw.....i didn't for one minute worry about what he looked like...except that it looked uncomfortable. i was just glad he was not in pain anymore! or slowly being poisoned.
and he is still missing the teeth (although only one missing is visable unless he opens up) and this operation was about 3 years ago.

OP it's one tooth, and he wont even be missing it long. soon he and his mouth wll be back to normal. what you going to do when he gets wrinklier? balder? greyer? gets a pot belly? things that are not temporary and would affect his looks ALOT more. i understand you need to find him attractive but honestly....it's a missing tooth! and i'm sure as **** that noone is more bothered by it than he is!

be thankful he is still alive! and not done himself some real damage. i mean what would you have done if he lost a leg? or an arm? or got brain damaged? in comparison a missing tooth is VERY minor

wexford202

+3 on the grow up thing.

I am sure he doesnn't feel like brad pitt at the moment either.

martdalto

Porkpie wrote: »

I can understand why people might think the OP is a little shallow but ffs will people lay off her for a minute? She came here looking for advice, all she's getting is a hard time so far.

But what sort of advice can she be given? What sort of advice was she looking for?

OP, I think what most posters here have said is very true. I don't get the impressions you DO love him. You fancy him, but you don't love him. And now that he looks different, you don't fancy him anymore.

So "advice" would be... to end it, and move on and find someone that you could possibly love. You're wasting HIS and YOUR time.

Oh The Humanity

colgatemate wrote: »

Should I pretend that I don't mind when really I do?

Yes.

colgatemate wrote: »

Look, lets be realistic here, everyday I read boards and I see guys complaining there gf has put on weight or that the sex has dwindled etc. It is a problem. People change over the years and if you are no longer attracted to someone are you supposed to just pretend you are because of 'love'?

People won't admit it, but if there partner gets fat or there face got deformed they would no longer fancy them. Simple as. It's not a crime!

Getting fat is different from losing a tooth through no fault of his own.

Getting fat is something the person can control/change, losing a tooth was due to an accident and outside his control. Totally different, you're comparing apples and oranges.

Reflector

Well I dont think this is a problem for personal issues but you should definitely learn from this experience on your atitude to apperance. If something worse happened like a partner lost a limb how'd you react?....I'm a big believer in better or for worse.

But anyway my suggestions are that you don't have sex until he gets the tooth done, you can't help feeling repulsed by this. Otherwise perhaps some positions that you arent face to face may work to keep up your imtimacy while he has this temporary problem.

Or you could incorporate it into a role playing fantasy. He could be a stupid hick and you could be a wealthy landowneress with a penchant for imbecilic farm hands?

iheartny

I think many people will judge (and have) for this post. I sort of understand where you're coming from, but that may be due to my own personal issues about teeth!!!
When I was growing up (aged 8-18!) I had gaps inbetween my teeth and became very shy and withdrawn because of my appearence with bullies etc - little did I know the gaps would close as I got older!!

I still hold major issues about teeth and check my own regularly making sure they're straight and pearly white with no chips or dents. I would honestly spend my life savings on replacing a tooth if it came to it.

If my partner lost a tooth, not that it would make me love him any less, I would feel uncomfortable with the way he looked. I suppose if I were you as other members have said, try not to see it as a long term thing. it's something I'm sure you'll get used to and before long he'll have his new tooth in place.

However after thinking about how I'd deal with it, I read Reflector's post and the worries seemed to dissipate...in your heart you know it doesn't matter whatsoever...

If something worse happened like a partner lost a limb how'd you react?....