Weak handshakes?

kingtut

I was introduced to a girl last night and we shook hands. I noticed that her handshake seemed to be very weak and I felt like I was going to break her hand!!!Although I am a guy I do not consider my hands to be particular strong and it is not the first time I have felt like I was going to break a girl's hand.

It made me realise that anytime I have shaken hands with a girl they always seem to have a very weak one. On that note I’m just curious girls as to whether you feel you have weak handshakes? Do you feel men are too ‘forceful’ when shaking… do you feel that you have a strong handshake? Etc

This is a weird thread I know but it wouldn’t be the first :cool:

minidazzler

I generally don't shake womens hands because they seem to fragile. I go by the old method of my hand flat their hand on top my thumb covering the top of their hand.. As if it were to be kissed but I don't kiss it unless she is a friend.

With men, strong handshakes are important.

If going for an interview or more formal meeting I will shake their hand, I have quite strong hands so don't want to hurt them.

Nevyn

I know I have a strong handshake it is something I worked on and my Dad helped me with.
I don't get to use it often but I do find a limp and listless handshake to be rude no matter the gender of the person.

A strong hand shake all a lot of macho signals around it, and is part of two usually guys sizing each other up some people don't want to play that game or some ( usually women ) are unaware of it unless it's come up for business meetings.

lasair

I have a strong hand shake...I never really thought about it until now but I sapose a weak one would suggest insecurities or just rude....

Morgase

Thaedydal wrote: »

I don't get to use it often but I do find a limp and listless handshake to be rude no matter the gender of the person.

Yeah I would agree with that, it's a bit of a pet hate of mine. I don't really know why I think it but maybe it's because a limp handshake seems like they don't really want to shake hands.

liah

I have a strong one, was just always taught that it was incredibly important so I've had a strong one since I was quite young.

jellie

i hate shaking hands with people - particularly in work situations - because im pretty sure my handshake is pretty weak. socially it wouldnt bother me particularly.

ive often had my hand crushed my particularly enthusiastic shakers. painful if youre wearing a ring!

Jood

I have a strong one, people are sometimes surprised cos I have tiny hands, but I think a strong handshake with plenty of eye contact is important!!

cch

Have been a few occasions that I've ended up holding the other person's fingers... think I may be too eager to project a strong handshake sometimes :o

Morlar

I think it's only manners to take care not to be too rough when shaking a womans' hand, at the same time some guys go overboard with the he-man style effort when shaking other mens' hands. Sometimes between friends it's funny but when someone you do not know seriously puts too much effort into 'hand-crushing' it's more pathetic than funny. It's down to a basic insecurity imo.

minidazzler

cch wrote: »

Have been a few occasions that I've ended up holding the other person's fingers... think I may be too eager to project a strong handshake sometimes :o

I hate when people give me their fingers to shake, I consider it quite an insult, it's as if they don't want to shake hands.

Morlar wrote: »

I think it's only manners to take care not to be too rough when shaking a womans' hand, at the same time some guys go overboard with the he-man style effort when shaking other mens' hands. Sometimes between friends it's funny but when someone you do not know seriously puts too much effort into 'hand-crushing' it's more pathetic than funny. It's down to a basic insecurity imo.

Really dislike he-man types. I give a good strong firm handshake, but not too strong, if you try to break their hand you are doing it wrong!!!

Johnnyq79

I hate weak handshakes. Nothing worse than saying hello, or thank you,etc and the person barely holds your hand. But I don't think it is that they have weak handshake, I think they are usually hygenie consious. They don't want to shake your hand at all so they touch yours as little as possible. Def a pet hate of mine.

stovelid

Prefer a strong handshake too. I think it's more in the vigour with which you do it. It's true that a really listless handshake seems detached and somewhat rude.

I hate those macho hand-crush jobs you sometimes get from other guys though. It really irritates me.

neuro-praxis

I have a strong handshake, and men often comment on it.

I hate limp handshakes, from men or women. It just screams lack of confidence. Fake it to make it, people!

Susyblue

Nothing worse than a weak/limp handshake, automatically screams "can't be bothered" and/or "no confidence"! Its immediately offputting, especially in a professional capacity.

Can't beat a good firm handshake from both genders. And unless its absolutely a bone crushing handshake, i doubt anyones hands will get broken!

BanzaiBk

I too have a firm handshake. Often handshakes colour my initial impression of people. Like if they're half hearted on the initial meeting how are they gonna be with everything else? Reading too much into it I know :rolleyes:

Snowie

i think a firm hand shake is best.
Over powering hand shakes are, slightly disrespectfull...

cch

minidazzler wrote: »

I hate when people give me their fingers to shake, I consider it quite an insult, it's as if they don't want to shake hands.

I was taking it that I was too quick to grasp, not that they were rude! But it does come under the "limp handshake" description really doesn't it? Hmmm

caseyann

lasair wrote: »

I have a strong hand shake...I never really thought about it until now but I sapose a weak one would suggest insecurities or just rude....

As a woman,If a woman was to shake my hand weakly i would also consider her rude and take instant distrust to her.


Whats if the person shakes hand with you above your hand means they think they are superior to you.

I think she sounds like either she didn't want to shake hands or she is a snob

caseyann

BanzaiBk wrote: »

I too have a firm handshake. Often handshakes colour my initial impression of people. Like if they're half hearted on the initial meeting how are they gonna be with everything else? Reading too much into it I know :rolleyes:

Nope body language is one of the most insightful into a persons personality.

kingtut

For the people who give weak handshakes though is it that you intentionally give a weak one or you are actually so frail that you simply can't muster up the strength to give a decent one?

Dudess

Limp handshakes - they tend to have an aura of standoffishness or insincerity, but not always. Some genuine people just have a limp handshake.
I have small, dainty, girlie hands and I actually have to inject a bit of oomph into my handshakes, otherwise they're fairly limp (Oh god, I can foresee this thread taking a bawdy turn... )

Knuckle-crushing handshakes - when having small, dainty, girlie hands is a major disadvantage - ouch!

But yeah, the enthusiasm with which you do the hand-shaking rather than the "force", seems most important...

kingtut

Dudess wrote: »

Weak handshakes - they tend to have an aura of standoffishness or insincerity, but not always. Some genuine people just have a weak handshake.
I have small, dainty, girlie hands and I actually have to inject a bit of oomph into my handshakes, otherwise they're fairly weak (Oh god, I can foresee my hands getting crushed... )

Knuckle-crushing handshakes - when having small, dainty, girlie hands is a major disadvantage - ouch!

But yeah, the enthusiasm with which you do the hand-shaking rather than the "force", seems most important...

fixed your post to prevent the thread being turned into smut something 'unsavoury'

nomorebadtown

Handshake? Pfft, a good slap on the arse should suffice.

Pretty_Pistol

I have a firm handshake. I can't stand the wet fish handshake. I always feel like saying "will ya grab my hand!". It always seems to be women who do this.

I can only remember once having an overly forceful handshake from a man that was friends with my parents. It was at a funeral and it literally felt like he was crushing my hand. He seemed like a very nice man. And there was no reason for him to do it on purpose or anything but man did I want to let out a squeal of pain!

the_syco

Meh. Between mates, it's usually the "gangster" handshake.

For interviews, you do a firm handshake. Firm means, well, crush the ddes hand, but only firmly hold the womans hand.

If it's someone you meet casually, it's usually a game of "I'm gonna crush your hand": with both me, the other person playing the game :pac:

Nevyn

nomorebadtown wrote: »

Handshake? Pfft, a good slap on the arse should suffice.

So you go around sexually assaulting strangers when you meet them?
Hope I never meet you.

Nervous Wreck

I shake hands with every new person I meet and I use it as part of my overall view of their personality. The meek have weak handshakes; limp wrists (the dead fish shake). I hate that. It's so important to have a strong handshake (not an aggressive one, mind). As someone said previously about guys sizing each other up with handshakes, yes, I do this. Not in a macho, alphamale type way but if I shake hands with a guy and he's got a good strong shake, I know I'll probably be able to make conversation with him easier than someone with a dead-fish, cos he's gonna be more self-assured and more eager to just have the banter.

Xiney

nomorebadtown wrote: »

Handshake? Pfft, a good slap on the arse should suffice.

Take a holiday.

Hrududu

When starting a new job I shook the girl's hand that came to meet me in reception. She gave me her hand but kept her fingers straight. It was the coldest fish of a handshake I've ever had. I never forgot it and even now if someone mentions her name thats what I think of. It gave such a bad impression of her.

I never put much thought into handshakes before that. I assume mine is okay, I hope.

Nervous Wreck

Hrududu wrote: »

I never put much thought into handshakes before that. I assume mine is okay, I hope.

If you're unsure, practice!

dublingal80

I dont think only men have strong handshakes and all women have weak ones. I have interviewed lots of people in the past and some handshakes, men and women, were literally like shaking the hand of a wet fish. They were just awful!! There were a couple of guys tho, and in fairness they properly hurt my hand when they shook it, but i dont know if it was just nerves and the whole "first impressions count and give a strong handshake"

the_syco

Hrududu wrote: »

She gave me her hand but kept her fingers straight.

That'd be the only way I know that will prevent someones hand from getting crushed, though.

Pherekydes

When I met my OH, the first two things I noticed about her were her open, friendly smile and her firm handshake. It immediately endeared her to me.

Those who are worried about getting their hands crushed: you won't get injured if you give a firm handshake back.

Handsome Bob

Johnnyq79 wrote: »

I hate weak handshakes. Nothing worse than saying hello, or thank you,etc and the person barely holds your hand. But I don't think it is that they have weak handshake, I think they are usually hygenie consious. They don't want to shake your hand at all so they touch yours as little as possible. Def a pet hate of mine.

neuro-praxis wrote: »

I hate limp handshakes, from men or women. It just screams lack of confidence. Fake it to make it, people!

Dudess wrote: »

Limp handshakes - they tend to have an aura of standoffishness or insincerity, but not always. Some genuine people just have a limp handshake.

Agreed on all of the above.

A weak handshake is also a pet hate of mine, combine it with a lack of eye contact (especially if you are blatantly looking away) upon greeting and I am not going to make an effort with you.

Faith

I have a firm handshake. Always have had. Can't stand weak or limp ones, they instantly lower my opinion of a person.

Lockstep

Yeah, I learned long ago how to do a firm handshake; in continental Europe you tend to shake hands with male friends every time you see them so you quickly learn how rotten a limp handshake is.

It's come in handy for interviews and stuff as well; employers have commented on the firm handshake a few times, makes me come across as more confident and all that jazz.

PhysiologyRocks

I have a very strong handshake.

I've encountered men with extremely weak handshakes, and some women with break-your-fingers handshakes.

It varies a lot.

Abi

I've a very firm hand shake. I never really thought about it that much until my brother asked me one day to shake his hand and 'don't think too much about it'. So I did and he started laughing at me! "You nearly took my arm off" he said :pac:

I think it was some book on mannerisms or body language that he was reading at the time, but he told me that it was a very positive thing. I think its true your hand shake can tell a lot about you, certainly your confidence. I haven't come across a lot of men with weak hand shakes, but plenty of women.

I've often wondered if it meant that a person felt threatened / less confident than you, or was it just a lone flaw in their personality and nothing to do with you personally........?

Just a thought.

Earthhorse

I was at a party once where I was introduced to a girl (true story) and we shook hands. She immediately insisted that we do so again because my handshake was weak and this was a serious flaw (paraphrasing). We did so and she complimented me on my improved second effort.

In all honesty, I cannot believe how many of you think this is strongly indicative of someone's personality.

stovelid

Earthhorse wrote: »

I was at a party once where I was introduced to a girl (true story) and we shook hands. She immediately insisted that we do so again because my handshake was weak and this was a serious flaw (paraphrasing). We did so and she complimented me on my improved second effort.

Are you omitting the I backed away hurriedly and ignored her for the rest of the night part as a polite touch?

Latchy

I never gave it much thought tbh but I shake hands with anybody who offers and I will approach people in same manner with a gentle , but firm handshake to make them feel at home and welcome .

Psst ..I always wash my hands after shanking hands with a person but not if front of them :pac:

kumate_champ07

men get a lot more practice shaking firm things with their hands...

Earthhorse

stovelid wrote: »

Are you omitting the I backed away hurriedly and ignored her for the rest of the night part as a polite touch?

No, I'm omitting the part where she told me she didn't like showers as a polite touch. Pure gentleman, me.

Latchy

The Queen wears gloves to avoid the germs that come with handshaking and I bet Charles and Barack Obama have flunkys with hand gel / sanitizers on the go all the time :pac:

Jessibelle

I've quite a strong handshake, always have. That and looking someone directly in the eye when introducing myself are two things that my dad's ensured I always do as he (and now subsequently I) feel its quite disrespectful to the other person to do otherwise.

emy-87

I have quite a strong handshake, and make a point of having one. I think I come across better if I make eye contact and have a firm handshake. Also I absolutley hate weak handshakes, they are my pet peeve. My mother is the same!

Lia_lia

I rarely shake hands. I just don't like doing it, makes me feel like a bit of an eejit. No idea why.

dfx-

I tend to distrust people who consider handshakes important...

I'll go for a medium-strength handshake unless the ante is upped mid-handshake. I have nearly crushed weak handshakes at an interview..which is where I hate them most.

Manic Moran

Yeah, I learned long ago how to do a firm handshake; in continental Europe you tend to shake hands with male friends every time you see them

We noticed that. An American colleague and myself spent a few days at a neighbouring French base, and we would sit in their command post. Every time someone would come in for the day or go out for the evening, they'd go around and shake everybody's hand. If it were an American command post, at most you'd get a general "Morning, guys!" when arriving and a general wave when leaving.

NTM

miaowsky

I've a firm handshake, but I've a ring that will hurt me and them if they grab too hard. Limp handshakes are awful awful awful!!