too embarrassed/scared to see the doctor (female problems)

LegacyUser

Hi

im not asking for medical advice, i know that isnt allowed. Basically im trying to build up the courage to see the doctor over a long standing problem. I always feel pain when having sex.Im not good at going to dr's for regular issues so going for such an intimate issue as this has me so nervous. Ive never even had a smear (i know i should). And also there's the thoughts of having them ask me really intimate questions about my sex life.

Im just wondering if any women on here could maybe tell me how they handle the embarrassment of going to the doctor for these kind of things. I know most wont have my problem, but even for a smear test? Im mortified at the thought of the dr looking at me down there.
And another thing - i dont wax down there lol...its too painful and my boyf doesnt care. Will the dr find this disgusting? (i do keep it neat, its not like a jungle or anything).

Im just tired of putting up with this problem - had it for years so its not something thats going to fix it itself, but im still to nervous to book the appointment:(

Koushki

my advice?

just go to the doctor. there's no two ways about it.

Do it.

implausible

Get a female doctor if it helps. They have seen and heard everything and are well used of dealing with embarrassed patients. You'll wonder what all the fuss was about later.

Larianne

I don't particularly like going to doctors but changing to a female doc made me feel more comfortable.

Maybe look for a female doctor. Might put you more at ease. See if any of your friends could recommend one for you.

suecrot

Hey, I know the feeling it can be so intimidating and embarassing but you really just have to go..I had problems before (turned out to be Ovarian Cysts) and was too mortified to go to my regular doctor so I went to a completly different one. Just bite the bullet and believe me they take no notice of what u are like down there!! As that lady doctor told me when I was shaking with nerves...she does it all day every day and even with 80 year old women!

opinion guy

hey OP.
As others have pointed out, the docs really have seen it all before and heard it all before. i understand why you nervous, but think about it this way. if you go now you'll get your problems investigated and hopefully sorted sooner. if you wait you'll still have the same issue to deal with, you'll just have to suffer the pain for longer. so kinda makes sense to go now doesn't it ?

plenty of docs who specialise in womens health out there. ask ur gal-pals to recommend a good one they are comfortable to go too

SheRa

scaredofdoctors wrote: »

Hi

im not asking for medical advice, i know that isnt allowed. Basically im trying to build up the courage to see the doctor over a long standing problem. I always feel pain when having sex.Im not good at going to dr's for regular issues so going for such an intimate issue as this has me so nervous. Ive never even had a smear (i know i should). And also there's the thoughts of having them ask me really intimate questions about my sex life.

Im just wondering if any women on here could maybe tell me how they handle the embarrassment of going to the doctor for these kind of things. I know most wont have my problem, but even for a smear test? Im mortified at the thought of the dr looking at me down there.
And another thing - i dont wax down there lol...its too painful and my boyf doesnt care. Will the dr find this disgusting? (i do keep it neat, its not like a jungle or anything).

Im just tired of putting up with this problem - had it for years so its not something thats going to fix it itself, but im still to nervous to book the appointment:(

Op the thoughts of getting a sexual check up can be very scary, but its really ok:). The docs dont care about whether you are waxed or not they see loads of female bodies of every shape and size all day. I dont know if this is allowed, but I go to the Suffolk St surgery in Dublin 2 and ask for a female doc every time and they are brill. Very sensitive and no question is too silly.

Also there can be a few reasons why you feel pain during sex so dont be scared about getting an answer but the scary thing would be if you left it for too long. You cant keep torturing yourself. Please go.

Edit:sorry i assume that you are in Dublin, but you may not be.

b3t4

First of all, I'm going to tell you that you're normal

Nobody likes having to discuss these things. It's not quite the dinner table kind of talk is it? But doctors are pretty much gone past the point of noticing. Generally, a doctor wants to help not hinder you. Also, they're generally, this is the problem and this is how we're going to sort it, types.

A female doctor might even make it easier for you, a male doctor might even have a female nurse you might be able to talk to in the surgery.

I've had to bring up embarrassing conversations with a few doctors (different countries, counties and all that). It's always slightly the same, me being a bit sheepish and the doctor being very matter of fact and concerned for me.

The thing that doctors are beyond wonderful at is peace of mind. It's worth gold.

Please head along to one it'll do you the world of good. Would there be a well woman clinic near you at all?

LegacyUser

OP here...thanks everyone for the replies, they're really helpful.
Im not in dublin shera but thanks anyway for your suggestion.

I always think as well that when i go to the doctor and tell them the issue, that theyre gonna think to themselves "ugh not another one of these"...cos i just dont see how it can be anything but unpleasant for them to have to deal with people's genitalia lol. I know thats dumb, but im going to feel sorry for whatever doctor i see.

and secondly, if sex hurts me despite being relaxed then i can only imagine how painful it will be to have them poking and prodding me down there If it could solve the problem i suppose its worth putting up with tho.

AMK

Stop worrying. You're just feeling a bit self-conscious but it's really misplaced because doctors of either sex have seen everything. Maybe you could get a friend or a sister to go with you.

You really need to go and get this sorted and it might be an idea to have a smear done at the same time and get the two over in the one go. Once you've dealt with it once, you won't mind after that.

Newsflash, NOBODY likes going to the doctor about problems 'down there', but personally I do it because I am not going to suffer consequences down the line because I was too embarrassed to see a doctor. It's just one of those things you have to deal with as an adult. They really have seen it all before, and who cares about whether or not they feel like checking out your vagina? It's their job, they do it all the time. It is never going to be pleasant, but a few minutes of discomfort is worth a) peace of mind or b) being able to sort out whatever is wrong. Most doctors will try to put you at ease, chat about what you're up to at the weekend or whatever, and it gets easier every time. I barely even feel any awkwardness now. And no, they don't care if you're waxed or not.

Blogger50

Hi Op,

Is there a Well Woman clinic in your area? If so maybe consider going there. Thats where I went when I had the exact symptoms you describe. They were brilliant and did all various tests at once (swabs, smear etc). I wont say what my condition is but because of them I ended up getting a much faster diagnosis than normal for my condition.

As others have said, they have seen it all before and dont care what your genitals look like. Please dont put this off any longer. You need to look after your health.

Good Luck!

wexford202

Hi OP

You need to go to he doctor.

Within 5 minutes your visit will be over and you can forget alla bout it.

It sounds like a cyst or something like that which is very common in women but you may need it removed which again is a simple procedure.

Just keep it nice and neat down there. Maybe bring some wipes with you if you are over concious.

I promise you the doctor will not bat an eyelid. I imagine it's the ones who are hygieine concious that turn there stomachs. They will be delighted someone as clean and neat as you is in their surgery.

buckieburd

Book an appointment for as soon as possible the next day or so, so that you arent dreading it for ages. Honestly once you've been you'll wonder why you were so nervous about it. And book a smear as well!

sunnyside

[quote=[Deleted User];62214114] It is never going to be pleasant, but a few minutes of discomfort is worth a) peace of mind or b) being able to sort out whatever is wrong.[/QUOTE]

That's what you have to think of when you make the appointment and go there. Yes you will probably be embarassed and shy and feel terrible, etc sitting in the waiting room. No need to obviously, the doctor will probably make it much easier for you, as the others have explained.

But right now you worry about this all the time, it's likely that something simple would fix it for you. But in order to achieve that peace of mind you will have to endure embarassment and discomfort for 10 minutes. That really isn't long, you'll survive and be glad you did it.

I had a cyst on my scalp, covered by my hair so not visible but I always felt uncomfortable about it at the hairdressers and I didn't like people touching my head in case they noticed it. Sometimes I worried that it might be a brain tumour and that if I ,mentioned it to the doctor I'd end up having brain surgery and my hair would all be shaved off.....you get the idea, I was worried it was something huge.

Eventually I did mention it to the doctor mainly because I was always embarassed by it at the hairdressers:o In less than 30 seconds the doctor had decided it was a sebaceous cyst caused by oil from a blocked hair follicle and absolutely nothing to worry about, common apparently. He suggested that if I wanted to get it removed it would be a simple out-patient day procedure under local anasthetic. I was scared but decided to get it done anyway because I wanted it gone.

Of course it was unpleasant but the actual procedure took less than 10 minutes. I was lying on the operating bed, the nurse held my hand and chatted to me to distract me and I just told myself "this will be unpleasant for 10 minutes but then I will walk out of here and go for a nice lunch to calm myself down" which was exactly what I did. It was so worth the 10 minutes of discomfort, stitches for a few day, etc. You will feel the same when you walk out of the doctors.


I think it's more embarassing for men to go to the doctor with genital problems.

LegacyUser

scaredofdoctors wrote: »

and secondly, if sex hurts me despite being relaxed then i can only imagine how painful it will be to have them poking and prodding me down there If it could solve the problem i suppose its worth putting up with tho.

Agree with what everyone else has says, and also when you explain what the problem is, the doctor will be really gentle. I had to go the doc with the same problem years ago and I barely felt a thing. Think about how much better you'll feel to be getting it sorted

mikemac

A doctor has seen it all before, nothing will suprise them.
And if it does, you'll get a referral

Relax and book that appointment.
Book a female doctor if that makes easier for you

lynsalot

Hi OP, I had this problem some years ago. I went to the doctor who referred me to a gynacologist. First of all there is absolutely nothing to be embarrassed about. Women across the land go to the doctor for smears etc all the time. The doctor won't be paying any notice to your pubic hair or any of that silly stuff.

Anyway my problem turned out to be a condition named vulvdynia, and the gynae was great. I saw three in total over the years. One was an old man (i'm due back next month) the other was a woman very nice, the other was a young good looking man and I did find this a bit embarrassing. Op I actually turned up with a tampon left in i was so nervous i forgot about it, and the gynae had to remove it. now If I can go through that then you certainly can. Believe me it's better to have peace of mind for those 2 mins of embarrassment.

First thing is, they send u behind a curtain. You undress just your bottom half, lie down and place a blanket over yourself. This makes is discreet. You can't see them looking if that makes sense and it honestly isn't that bad. It takes only a minute or two. They're very gentle. You'd be surprised. Anyway i got help and the doctor was great with a couple of other issues. You should be getting a smear test, it's free for under 25s. if u have a male doctor or gynae in a hospital you're meant to have a female nurse present for the exam just for info.

Go to the doctor, and get it over and done with and you'll feel so much better, and sex needn't be painful anymore. You'll be much better off for getting it sorted for those 2 minutes of awkwardness

Nevyn

Smear tests are only free for those who are over 25 under the new cervical check scheme.