Help - gift ideas for a couple we don't really know

JasperKat

we've been invited to the very big, full-on, no expense spared, nothign too much trouble, wedding in two weeks time of one of my cousins, (one of the daughters of my mam's brother).

we've only ever met the the bride a couple of times & the groom once so we're not exactly friendly with them.

We've tried asking her parents about the wedding present list but didn't get any help, they just said 'money cos that's all they want', now I don't agree with that because he works full-time & she's a 'house-wife' officially but does child-minding & we're often told via me mam that they're doing extremely well... new car, house, holidays etc...

Other people in the family (who were equally surprised to be invited I might add) are giving €100 but we don't agree with that, apart from the fact that we simply can't afford it anyhow, we want to give somethign that they'll be pleased with or be able to remember us by.

so, can someone give me some ideas as to what to give please?

Thanks in advance,

Jasper

Rosy Posy

egg cups are a traditional irish wedding gift- a fertility symbol- you could get a nice set for not too much and put in a card with an explanation.

a voucher for a meal out?

a spa treatment for two?

Clareman

Set of cutlery, crystal photo frame, crystal vase.

If you have to give money, give 100 worth of the currency wherever they are going on honeymoon, clearly if they are going to Europe then you're in trouble

The Big Red Button

If you don't know them very well, and have only met them a couple of times, why bother going? Make up some excuse, refuse the invitation politely, and save yourself the expense of both the wedding itself and an expensive gift (maybe give them something small anyways though as a token.)

Terpsichore

Nice suggestions above!
I love the local currency cash for the honeymoon idea.
I would add a pot of honey with the egg cups It's another symbol of fertility, hence the origin of "honeymoon": the couple is supposed to eat honey for a full calendar moon to help fertility.

Well, it is always possible to go to the wedding and NOT give a present. If you get to know them better and feel you want to give them a present afterwards, this should be ok.

Not everybody gave us present for our wedding, and it's absolutely fine. They were here to share our day and make it humanly special. That's what really counts.

These people should know that everybody don't have their money standard and that it's recession after all...
There is already a lot of expenses for you to get pretty and to get there. If the couple is somewhat intelligent and reallistic, they won't give out to you for not giving a present, if they remember you at all that is!

If this couple really expects paying off a part of their wedding with guests money gifts, then really: why bother going!!! This marriage is starting on a really weird note!

Clareman

As someone who up to 3 months ago thought it would be very very rude to decline a wedding invite and has now seen the other side of the invites, just tick the Unfortunetly I can't Attend Box, people won't mind

the_syco

JasperKat wrote: »

very big, full-on, no expense spared, nothign too much trouble, wedding

...

we've only ever met the the bride a couple of times & the groom once so we're not exactly friendly with them.

...

'money cos that's all they want'

...

new car, house, holidays etc...

...

who were equally surprised to be invited I might add

Sounds like he's now jobless, and needs the money to fund the "no expense spared" wedding. And it sounds like they're inviting everyone to help fund their wedding. I goto weddings for people I know well, and only gift those whom I know well. TBH, I'd almost make my excuses, and not go, as it sounds like they want you to fund their wedding bill.

JasperKat

Rosy Posy wrote: »

egg cups are a traditional irish wedding gift- a fertility symbol- you could get a nice set for not too much and put in a card with an explanation.

a voucher for a meal out?

a spa treatment for two?

thats a great idea but they've already got two kids so i don't think they need any help in that direction... :D:D

Rosy Posy wrote: »

a voucher for a meal out?

a spa treatment for two?

loving these ideas .... thanks

Set of cutlery, crystal photo frame, crystal vase.

If you have to give money, give 100 worth of the currency wherever they are going on honeymoon

grand idea which i thought was the dogs, but theyre not going anywhere for the honeymoon yet... :-(

If you don't know them very well, and have only met them a couple of times, why bother going? Make up some excuse, refuse the invitation politely, and save yourself the expense of both the wedding itself and an expensive gift (maybe give them something small anyways though as a token.)

would love to decline but me ma's hell bent on going & won't go on her own, so we're not allowed to 'let the side down' & we'd never hear the end of it if we didn't go

Sounds like he's now jobless, and needs the money to fund the "no expense spared" wedding. And it sounds like they're inviting everyone to help fund their wedding.

hehehe yea you're probably not far wrong if the truth be known


jasper

The Big Red Button

JasperKat wrote: »

would love to decline but me ma's hell bent on going & won't go on her own, so we're not allowed to 'let the side down' & we'd never hear the end of it if we didn't go

My interpretation of this whole affair:

You want to see what this whole "no expenses spared" wedding is all about. You want to experience the music, the photos, the whole atmosphere of such an event. You want to bitch about what was on offer; what wasn't; and why not. And that's all fair enough.

Personally, this type of thread makes me so so happy I'm going for the type of wedding where I'll be far away. The people who care about me and who want to be there will be there. The people who don't - either won't be invited (most likely) or won't go.

Seriously, if you can't afford it, don't go, and tell mammy (:rolleyes:) that you can't afford it. Simple as. Does she care more about your wellbeing, or about this random couples wellbeing?

If you can afford it, and are into that kind of scene, then just hand over the cheque for x amount, oogle to your hearts content, and be done with it.

Redpunto

if you want to go to the wedding and experience the day with the happy couple then kindly accept their invitiation and give them €100. If you dont know them and couldnt be arsed going then kindly decline and move on:D

ballsymchugh

i've been to a few wedding over the past year and the one common theme with the aftermath is the shyte that is given as wedding presents. there are boxes with cutlery and china (that will need it's own cabinet bought for in the future) all around the houses of newlyweds who really really did want just the money.
otherwise buy them a buffalo in africa. it'll be used to keep a family going for years. at least it won't take up space beside the other lamps and vases that they get.

Clareman

I had a brainwave, you don't particularly want to go but you feel you have to give something, why not look to pay your way and leave a tip, so with that in mind....

Glass of champagne at arrival €5 (even if it's terrible)
5 course meal €30 (hey, vol au vents, veg soup, beef or salmon, trio of desserts and tea or coffee costs that for lunch)
Half bottle of wine €10 (nevermind that it's Aldi's finest that cost a fiver)
Drink €5
Sausage roll/sandwich €5

All in all your day is €55, take a fiver off, €50, if there's 2 of you that's €100

joeduggan

cant understand why people wont give money. its the easiest thing to do , instead of wasting your time trying to think of what to buy.!

missmatty

I think the problem here is people having big expensive weddings and then inviting every single person in the world to them to pay for it. I was invited to a wedding last year of a neighbour, a girl i hadn't seen to speak to for about 15 years and had never even met the fiance (I don't live at home). I could not understand the logic of them inviting me. I didn't go but because her mother and my parents are friends I gave 50E of a present so her family wouldn't be offended. But I wasn't very impressed to be honest. Fifty euro is a fair chunk of money when I have other weddings to go to of people I actually see on a regular basis and am friends with or related to.

The Big Red Button

joeduggan wrote: »

cant understand why people wont give money. its the easiest thing to do , instead of wasting your time trying to think of what to buy.!

I can understand wanting to give a more personal gift - if it's someone I'm really close to and know of something with a personal meaning that they'd really really love and appreciate!

In any other case, it makes sense to just give the couple money, particularly since that's what they specifically requested when asked.

JasperKat

for anyone that's interested we did all go to the wedding of the century, yea the bride n' everybody looked lovely, the food at the afters was great, the band were terrible...

there was a very expensive bar, two bottles of wine per table of 10, no free drink as a 'toast' to the happy couple & the cake never got cut, but sure anyway everyone had a great time....

There were loads of (very) distant family members who showed up that even me mam didn't know, those we spoke to were even more embarassed than we were to have been asked!

The bride's father told me mam last night that 'the happy couple' were 'absolutely delighted to have made €8,900 from the generous family & friends & would be going on honeymoon after all.'

oh, what did we do in the end? we gave them one of those electronic photo frames from argos reduced from €89.95 to just €39.95 & they're 'very pleased'!

Jasper

Clueless09

that sounds like a good day all in all jasper. god almighty 9k is a lot of money. your gift sounds lovely, i am getting married myself and the only thing i really dont want is newbridge silverware-anything from there at all!! hate the stuff bet ill get loads though