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Dear Mr. Cowen...

  • 21-09-2009 2:24pm
    #1
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 9,425 ✭✭✭


    Just an email I got this morning, made me chuckle...
    Dear Mr. Cowen*

    Please find below my suggestion for fixing Irelands economy:

    Instead of giving Seven Billion Euro's to the Irish Banks who will squander the money on lavish parties and unearned bonuses, use the following plan.

    You can call it the Republican Retirement Plan:

    There are about 1 million people over 50 in the work force. Pay them 7 million Euro apiece severance for early retirement with the following stipulations:

    1) They MUST retire. One million job openings - Unemployment fixed

    2) They MUST buy a new car. One million cars ordered - Auto Industry fixed

    3) They MUST either buy a house or pay off their mortgage – Housing Crisis fixed

    4) They MUST send their kids to school/college/university - Crime rate fixed

    5) They MUST buy 100 Euro of alcohol/tobacco a week ..... and there's your money back in duty/tax etc

    *Im not Mr. Cowen.


Comments

  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,473 ✭✭✭R0ot


    FearDark wrote: »
    5) They MUST buy 100 Euro of alcohol/tobacco a week ..... and there's your money back in duty/tax etc

    ....Health care broken.... :rolleyes:


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 442 ✭✭Lambsbread


    There seems to be some maths problem there - are we talking American or British billion?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 9,496 ✭✭✭Mr. Presentable


    We use the American Standard billion here, which is 1/1000th of your "budget", so a rethink is needed :pac:

    Who'd want to retire for €7,000.00.?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,417 ✭✭✭Dr4gul4


    Who's going to administer these checks? least thing your e-mail plan needs is some skobe not doing as he's asked .....


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 81,220 ✭✭✭✭biko


    I like it, hope Cowen sees it.


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,689 ✭✭✭Vain


    My letter to Mr Cowen would go somthing like this.

    Dear Mr Cown

    #### you.

    Most sincerely

    Vain


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,604 ✭✭✭Kev_ps3


    7 billion? More like 60 billion..
    Plus Biffo would rather burn the money then give it to the people like that.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,707 ✭✭✭MikeC101


    I think it's a repost of something that was floating around with reference to America, but whoever cleverly managed to change the names and amounts in it didn't get the billion thing.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,405 ✭✭✭Dartz


    That's the sort of Math's the banks ran on.

    Funnilly enough, some elements of it might work. A million euro maybe not, but who here would retire immediately for a 100k one-off payment.

    Unemplyoment is at how many hundred thousand?

    On a smaller scale with lesser amounts, the plan could be made to work. 50 billion would definitely buy that too.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 871 ✭✭✭gerTheGreat


    OP, just out of curiousity are you raising this as a serious point or are you taking the piss? If you're serious, then see comments on the figures and also would you really expect all (or even half for that matter) of the 50+ years old to be replaced.


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