I want to give up my baby for adoption...

LegacyUser

...My baby is 4months old...and I want to give him up for adoption. Although it breaks my heart to say it.

He is the most beautiful, gorgeous, sweetest little thing you could ever imagine, and I love him to bits. I can't even put into words how much I love him. It's a type of intense love that I have never known. And because I love him so much, I think he would have a much better life if we gave him away, if he was with a different family. But my husband won't even consider it.

The baby was a completely unplanned pregnancy. I never wanted to have children, so we were using two type of contraception, but still got caught out. It all seems so unfair; to me, my husband, and most of all the baby.

I feel like I can't look after our baby. He has some medicial complications that has made the last few months looking after him very difficult, and I feel like another family would be able to look after him better.

I feel like we can't give him the best life: As a result of the recession, neither my husband or I have a stable, permanent job, although we are both highly educated and have lots of experience in our field. In fact, I have had to give up my job because I got pregnant...I had a very, very good job, although I was working on contract. However, my employers did not renew the contract once I told them I was pregnant. Although they said the pregnancy was not the cause.

I love my baby so much. And I want to do the best for him. I don't want to give him away, but at the momement, I feel like the best option for him would be to give him away to a family that would be able to look after him properly. At the moment, although we love him more than anything else, my husband and I can't give him the life he deserves. We can't even afford to pay for the consultant he needs to see for his medical issues.

However, my husband won't even entertain the idea of adoption. He just keeps saying "things will get better". But he isn't working - he just sits on his bum all day playing his "Wii" while I trawl the internet for jobs. I had 15 job interviews while I was pregnant (none of which I got obviously) - my husband had 0.

So I just wonder if anyone else has been in the same situation? What would/have you done? I love my baby. I love him so much I want the best life for him. And right now, although it breaks my hear and I feel so ashamed saying it, I feel that that the life is with a family who can properly proivide for him.

SarahSassy

Your sons life is with you. Money does not matter - love, affection, caring and nurturing is what will make him into a fine man in years to come. I dont want to jump the gun but I think you have post natal depression. Have you spoken to anyone about his.

You are the best person to take care of this child. Please talk to someone about this. Best of luck.

Crea

Firstly your love is what your baby needs the most and you sound like the most loving mother.
Secondly the public medical service will treat your child so make sure to go to your public health nurse and ask how to get the treatment he needs.

Thirdly and most importantly you sound like your suffering from post natal depression. This is not surprising given the stress of your sons medical condition and your precarious financial situation. What you are feeling is not uncommon with PND so please talk to your GP (they will not judge you and will be able to help). You will probably be put on anti-depressants but also ask for a referral to a public councellor as you have alot on your plate.

How you are feeling is temporary and your finacial situation is most likely temporary too, adoption is permanent and when you get back on your feet you'll be happy your kept your baby.
Don't feel ashamed - I felt how your did and I didn't have half your pressures. Your GP and public health nurse can help. Please please talk to them.
Best of luck

SarahSassy

Crea wrote: »

Firstly your love is what your baby needs the most and you sound like the most loving mother.
Secondly the public medical service will treat your child so make sure to go to your public health nurse and ask how to get the treatment he needs.

Thirdly and most importantly you sound like your suffering from post natal depression. This is not surprising given the stress of your sons medical condition and your precarious financial situation. What you are feeling is not uncommon with PND so please talk to your GP (they will not judge you and will be able to help). You will probably be put on anti-depressants but also ask for a referral to a public councellor as you have alot on your plate.

How you are feeling is temporary and your finacial situation is most likely temporary too, adoption is permanent and when you get back on your feet you'll be happy your kept your baby.

+1

LegacyUser

Hi all,

thanks for your replies.

I meant to post that I have spoken to my GP, PHN and paediatric consultant about how I feel. All three have screened me for post-natal depression, and they have said that I am not sufferring from depression. Although, I so show quite high stress levels.

I know a lot of people will think that I just want to give my baby up for adoption because I feel depressed, or because i'm selfish and finding the job of being a parent too hard. But I'm not depressed (as diagnosed by experts). And I wouldn't mind working hard if I felt it was best for the baby - but I don't.

I want to keep my baby. But I don't see how I can do that and give him the life he deserves. He deserves a nice house, a good school, proper heatlth care, proper nutritoin, etc. We can't give that to him at the moment - or for for the foreseeable future. I feel it would jus be selfish to keep him, "just in case" things might get better. That's why I want to give him away. Especiallly since my husband is particuarlly unsupportive. He thinks that his fatherly duties are done if he changes one nappy a day, or plays with the baby for 5mins a day.

bronte

You very much need to talk to your husband.
He's clearly not doing half of what he should be.
It's no wonder you are feeling stressed.
Some men seem to have no idea of the level of care and work that goes into looking after a child.
Maybe your husband needs an introduction to that.

LegacyUser

OP,
Forget the 'fancy house, fancy school' claptrap. Children are hardy... and as long as they are fed and watered they will generally do just fine. (A hug here and there does no harm either).

Putting him out for adoption would add a huge layer of complication to his life... and however wealthy a family he might be adopted by, there is a always a significant chance that he'll never be entirely happy with them.

SarahSassy

Heartbrokenmum wrote: »

I want to keep my baby. But I don't see how I can do that and give him the life he deserves. He deserves a nice house, a good school, proper heatlth care, proper nutritoin, etc. We can't give that to him at the moment - or for for the foreseeable future. .

No - he deserves his Mother....

metrovelvet

Think about this scenario, because this is what you would be facing should you choose to try to give the child up for adoption in Ireland.

A long long time of bureacracy and the child possibly being passed around from foster home to foster home.

Economic situations change. Try to see that if the finances are what you are worried about, they are temporary and they can change, so hang in there.

And if you did give your child up for adoption to a wealthy family, there is no guarantee they will stay wealthy or even married for that matter.

SarahSassy

metrovelvet wrote: »

And if you did give your child up for adoption to a wealthy family, there is no guarantee they will stay wealthy or even married for that matter.

This is a realy good point. Adopting parents are in general fantastic people but they are not surrounded by an invisible shield which stops misfortune falling on them... While I dont doubt but the baby could be very happy with a good family, you also have to deal with the issue of why the child was given up later in life. It may be very hard for him to understand why his parents gave him up just because of lack of money...

OP, you sound very smart - there is nothing you cant give this child opportunity wise. The issue here as I see it is that you have a lazy husband. That is a separate issue. Have you friends you can go visit for a couple of nights and leave the baby with him? He will soon realise how much work a small, sick baby is.

Darthhoob

i dont think it is the baby you should give up, it's your husband...if he doesn't start helping! tbh (speaking from experience) it'll be easier to be a single mother than a married mother who has the stress of lazy husband. not that you seem to find motherhood itself hard, but the stress is not doing you any good.
a child does not need a nice big house or a huge expensive school. the healthcare is an issue but someone here posted about some help with that. other than that...you have ALL you need to be a good brilliant mum....you are more than halfway there.

my kids dont have a great deal in life, they are fed, watered, clothed and have a bed to sleep in (when they sleep :rolleyes:) they are happy...well certainly seem to be happy.
happiness is not linked to how much money you have...despite what people think

whip your hubby into shape though, need to do that for your own sanity! x

Jo King

Only illegitimate or orphaned children can be given up for adoption. You refer to a husband, so I presume that you are married and your son is legitimate. He cannot be legally adopted.

The_Conductor

OP- children are remarkably resilient, a child will not demand all the luxuries in life that people who experienced the celtic tiger might take for granted. A child will love you- because you are their mother. If you did not worry about what was best for your child- you would not be a good mother. Life is hard, people manage to cope somehow.

If you need help- and it really sounds as though you do- you have to demand it. It is very difficult when someone you love is critically ill- and you have no idea what the future might bring. There are respite care options- which you really need to bring up with your GP and your community welfare officer- they should be in a position to help you.

On a seperate note- under the 1954 Adoption Act- it is not possible to legally adopt the child of a married couple. A child might be fostered, or put into longterm care- but legally they could not be adopted. There are some good family law solicitors and barristers out there who can explain the legalities to you- Geoffrey Shannon advised the Department on the recent proposals.

RandolphEsq

OP be careful of rushing into getitng rid of your child. If your finances and economic situation impove and you have already given up your child, you will undoubtedly feel that you desperately want your child back. Everything works out for the best, talk to friends about how you feel (friends with kids too) and see what they say, also contact a professional involved in adoption

994

Darthhoob wrote: »

i dont think it is the baby you should give up, it's your husband...if he doesn't start helping! tbh (speaking from experience) it'll be easier to be a single mother than a married mother who has the stress of lazy husband. not that you seem to find motherhood itself hard, but the stress is not doing you any good.

[...]

whip your hubby into shape though, need to do that for your own sanity! x

So her wanting to get rid of the child is excusable by pnd, but there's no excuse for being lazy? Maybe the husband is depressed too?

galwaydude

I really feel for you op. Kids do not need such luxuries as a nice house etc. What they need is love and support and your son has that from you. Talk to your husband. He should be doing allot more. He is living in the dark ages if he thinks that a fathers duties are changing one nappy a day and playing with your son for 5 minutes.

I know its tough especially when your child has had some health complications. You will get through and your son will be grateful to have such a wonderful loving mum looking after him. Your not a bad person for wanting a better life for your son. Its only natural. Take care and i wish you all the best. I know you may not believe this but things will get better. I am speaking from personal experience.

lynsalot

Hi OP,
I cannot begin to imagine how you feel, because I've not been in your position. The most important fundamental thing is your love for your child. Everyone is feeling the pinch at the minute. I've got consultant bills to pay that i'm struggling with. You are not alone in this. Yes your child might get a bigger house, nicer clothes, fancy toys in another family, but will the child be loved and cared for, as much as you and i'm sure your husband love and care for him.

Another poster mentioned the public health service. You should speak to your family GP because although you get seen quicker, going private costs a fortune. Your husband may be depressed/down because he's unemployed and possibly feels as you do. You should speak to him and try and discuss how you're both feeling.

I'm adopted, and although it doesn't necessarily have any relevance to my response to you, my parents (Adoptive) didn't have a lot of money, they still don't. We went to the park on a sunday and picked acorns, and ran around the park, we went into the early learning centre and played with the toys, we went to the cinema as a family, we played games in the back garden. I remember spending time with my parents and brother, not the brand of the football we used, not the calibre of the cinema we visited, not the fact that the dinners were MnS and not tesco basic. These things are really honestly not important compared to being loved and cherished.

My dad read me a story every night, and most times he made it up. He rubbed my belly when I was sick, he played see saw with me on the floor. My mam sang with me and brought me to local variety group (Again nothing expensive) Ok I know babies are expensive, and it's a struggle but there is support out there for you. I would really hope that you find the support you need because when you give up your child it's permanent. My birth mother has regretted her decision all her life. Again I can't begin to imagine how she feels because i'm not in her position but she has had a very tough time of it stemming from the guilt she feels from giving a baby up for adoption.

The decision is inevitably yours to make, but if u love your baby, and can speak to your husband, get the support you need, use the services this country provides, you can provide a fulfilling loving and encouraging upbringing for your child, which is the most important thing he needs.

Ebonyellie

i feel so sorry for you op, all you want is the best for your baby but nothing is better than a mothers love. I was a single mammy at 19 and i thouht about adoption too before my son was born, it was a very lonely period in my life and i felt that nobody was on my side, so i understand the feelings you may have, but you said it yourself how much you love him and how strong your feelings are - if you give him away you are committing yourself to a life sentence. My son is 10 now, the love of my life, if i had to have given him up i would never have got over it. Believe me when i tell you, nice house, nice clothes etc - these are just things, children need love love love - it might sound idealistic but its all that matters. im sorry you are having such a hard time, you need more support, you need your husband to be your partner right now, its tough trying to keep a family together under these circumstances - i hope you get the support you need and i hope you have good friends to rely on

Moonbeam

Hi,

Is it that you do not want the child and the responsibility that goes with it? Do you want your freedom back ?
Maybe putting the child in to temporary foster care would help you?As the child of a married couple can not be adopted in Ireland the child would never be officially any ones elses child but if you do not want them then they might be better off.
I think once you get a chance to sit down and relax and have some time for yourself then things will suddenly seem easier and you and your baby can begin to have a relationship that you will never want to be with out again.

dirtydress

Moonbeam wrote: »

Hi,

Is it that you do not want the child and the responsibility that goes with it? Do you want your freedom back ?

I thought this as well when I read the OP's post. I'm not really sure if its not being able to cope or feeling sad that her life has changed.

OP you don't mention any outside family being involved, do you have parents, brothers/sisters for emotional support? Sometimes its small things like being able to give up the baby to someone else for even an hour so you can spend time focusing on looking for work that will help and clear your head.

Also I cant +1 enough to what people have said about talking to your husband. There is NO excuse that he is not down his local chippy begging for work if you have a child together. A serious chat is needed there.

Best of luck.

Darthhoob

994 wrote: »

So her wanting to get rid of the child is excusable by pnd, but there's no excuse for being lazy? Maybe the husband is depressed too?

maybe he is, he most likely is, in which case he'll need to see a GP wont he...either way he needs to put his son first and try and help himself and his family. it would be the same if it was PND in her case.

his wife has already told him that she wants to give up their child, i assume she also told him why. he doesn't agree with her but doesn't do anything to help.

b3t4

HeartbrokenMum wrote: »

I feel like I can't look after our baby. He has some medicial complications that has made the last few months looking after him very difficult, and I feel like another family would be able to look after him better.

Please, please don't be so hard on yourself. You know what, most new parents would feel like you do with your situation. Most new parents are overwhelmed

I don't want to give him away

I want to keep my baby.

If you do put him in foster care this will eat you up and spit you out.

Get help from anyone you possible can, friends, neighbours, relations, baby groups (ask your phn)

TequilaMockingBird

Print out your Opening Post and show it to your GP or PHN. Tell them you need help.


This will pass.

metrovelvet

OP- No new parent feels adequate. It comes with the territory of this brave new world. We are all on a huge learning curve and feeling overwhelmed is part of the package.

There have been many days where I have had to pull over in the car and just break down into tears.


also - to the poster who referred to "illegitamate children," they are children out of wedlock, not illegitimate.

LegacyUser

The greatest thing you can do for you boy it to stay by his side. You love him and he will grow up knowing that, that is all that matters. If he is adopted he will always have a part of him that is missing and it will always be with him. I come for a very poor family but a very happy one and I love my parents very much, no amount of money can buy your little boy the love you have for him, do not deprive him of that please.

aidan24326

metrovelvet wrote: »

also - to the poster who referred to "illegitamate children," they are children out of wedlock, not illegitimate.

The term 'illegitimate' is really stupid, as though a baby is only half a person if born outside of marriage. It's sad that it's even still in use.

Nevyn

Legally the term illegitimate does not apply any more and children who have both parents on the birth cert and where both parents have guardianship wether they are married or not can still be put up for adoption if both parents agree to terminate thier parental rights, which I can't see happening in this case.

HeartbrokenMum to have gotten to this stage must have been very hard on you,
you need better help and support, if your child has medical difficulties which need such a level of care that it is causing you that much stress and anguish then I suggest getting in touch with your baby nurse and seeing about getting supports to help you,
from a care assistant/home help or what ever supports can be but in place.

Also why not speak to your local socail worker, a lot of thier work is in helping families cope and if you are considering fostering/adoption you are going to have to talk to them anyway, so get in touch with them and see how they can help.

lynnsback

You might find help here:

http://clionaringfoundation.com/

kittenkiller

Please please don't feel one little bit guilty for how you're feeling right now.
You want the best for your son and want to explore all options to be able to provide it for him.

Talk openly to your husband until you get the message across to him and at least have a two way conversation about how you're feeling with him.
Take the plug off the tv if you need to so you can get his attention.

There are an amazing amount of people/couples out there who would make wonderful parents but can't conceive naturally.
Giving them the chance to become parents would be the most wonderful gift, but only if you are 100% sure that you won't spend your life regretting giving up your son.

My parents have given me a wonderful start to life and I've never felt unloved.
But I do wonder about my natural parents a fair bit and there's always that "what if" thought floating around my head.
But I guess I've been particularly lucky.
It's been almost 30 years since I was adopted and I'm sure things have changed a fair bit now.
As broke as you think you are now, you don't know how much money a potential adoptive parent might be earning or what their employment status is, they might lose their job in a years time as well and you might end up better off than them.
Nothing is a certainty.

My mum spent months looking over her shoulder expecting my birth monther to be standing there claiming that she had changed her mind and wanted me back.
To do this to someone would be unforgivable, so you would need to make 100% sure (or as close to it as possible) that it's not something you'll end up regretting.

Speak to your doctor, parents, friends, family and above all else your husband to try to assess all angles of this before you make a decision and don't feel pressured into anything.
It must be terrible to feel that you can't provide the necessities for your child.
Could you borrow money from your parents to help out with the medical costs?
Even organise a fundraiser for the cause or something?

I only have experience from the other side of the fence, but I think it's really wonderful that you're even considering it as a possibility to be honest.
I wish you all the luck in the world with whatever decision you come to.
I hope your son always knows how much you love him.

LegacyUser

You say your husband "won't even entertain the idea of adoption", that is fair enough. you do not get to decide this on your own and its not something that you can just convince him of. I think you need to get as much help from family and friends here. If you have a good education ect. this is just a finacial blimp. You need to make a plan to keep your family together and make it stronger. You will get through this, do not give up.. do that for your son. Most families experience hardtimes at some point, focus on what is important here not on superficial things.

Jo King

Thaedydal wrote: »

Legally the term illegitimate does not apply any more and children who have both parents on the birth cert and where both parents have guardianship wether they are married or not can still be put up for adoption if both parents agree to terminate thier parental rights, which I can't see happening in this case.

.

Adoption Act 1952.
A–0410

Children who may be adopted

10.An adoption order shall not be made unless the child—

(a) resides in the State, and

(b) is, at the date of the application, […] not more than seven years of age, and

(c) is illegitimate or an orphan.

LegacyUser

metrovelvet wrote: »

also - to the poster who referred to "illegitamate children," they are children out of wedlock, not illegitimate.

PC nonsense. There are children born out of wedlock who become legitimised by a later marriage. Once legitimised a child cannot be adopted.

aidan24326

Jo King wrote: »

Adoption Act 1952.
A–0410

Children who may be adopted

10.An adoption order shall not be made unless the child—

(a) resides in the State, and

(b) is, at the date of the application, […] not more than seven years of age, and

(c) is illegitimate or an orphan.

That places a weight of importance on marriage which at this day and age is undeserved.

metrovelvet

aidan24326 wrote: »

That places a weight of importance on marriage which at this day and age is undeserved.

It really is telling that this is still used in legal language - and it should not but that doesnt mean marriage isnt important.

tinkerbell

OP, all your child needs is your love and care. That's all. Your child doesn't need to live in a fancy house or have luxury things - he just needs the love of his mom n dad.

Perhaps you wouldn't feel this way if your husband went out to try and get a job? I mean if he's just sitting around all day playing the Wii like you said, then is he even helping with the baby? You probably should sort out the problems with your husband first, and then everything with your new baby will fall into place. Don't give him away just because of money, you will regret it for the rest of your life probably.

Nevyn

kelvin36 wrote: »

PC nonsense. There are children born out of wedlock who become legitimised by a later marriage. Once legitimised a child cannot be adopted.

Children who are born outside of wedlock are no longer considered illegitimate and have the same rights and entitlement of their parents as those born in wedlock.

If Both parents sign away their rights to the child then the child becomes an orphan and can be adopted.

OP seriously this is not an easy choice to make and there is a process in place please get in touch with your local social workers, either way the baby will have to be fostered to begin with.

RossFixxxed

Good holy christ. I was looking at losing my job recently, all my savings are gone, everything look scary. I wouln't have considered giving up my CAT let alone my child. Look there are many people and reasons who should give babies up for adoption, and it is an amazing gift to give someone.

But because you can't give a fancy school or a pair of ****ing Nike runners seems to be what you're saying. I lost a child years ago, and I know I would do ANYTHING ANYTHING AT ALL to keep her and keep her happy.

Your son needs his mum, not an ambercrombie sweater. Just because things are tough doesn't mean you get to quit when it comes to children sorry. You are probably very scared and maybe down or stressed. This is a human life, you conceived him and you gave birth to him and kept him, and now you have decided ahhhh I don't want it. You're not (i hope) a junkie, an abuser, a drunk or any of that. You're a mature (and you say educated) woman. Time to raise to the challenge. I'd work picking up dog s*** with my bare hands to keep a child.

Your husband seems to be the real problem. Burn that telly down and trash the Wii if you have to. Get his attention and TELL HIM jesus christ. He's failing both of you and he needs to be a man. Forget being all nicey nicey PC here, a man should do anything to help his child and its mother, anything to keep them safe and fed. Not play bloody video games while all this is going on. Ditch him if he keeps dragging you down, NOT YOUR CHILD.

R

Jo King

Thaedydal wrote: »

Children who are born outside of wedlock are no longer considered illegitimate and have the same rights and entitlement of their parents as those born in wedlock.

Since when? And since when can parents orphan their own child other than by dying?

Jo King

Jo King wrote: »

Since when?

about 20 years ago? more, really

rs

We have a four month old baby too (our second). And really, the first few months are the worst. The lack of sleep really takes its toll over time. But as time goes on things will get easier, I promise.

This recession won't last forever so try not to focus on the short term. By the time your baby starting is in school (5 years from now), things will probably be very, very different.

The most important think you can give your children is yourself. The fancy clothes, big house and all of that. Have you ever heard anyone say that their childhood would have been better if they had better clothes, or a bigger house?

The_Conductor

bluewolf wrote: »

about 20 years ago? more, really

I think she meant legally. Legally- they are considered illegitimate, and unless the father is named on the birthcertificate, have no inheritance rights, other than as a stranger, from a tax perspective. The Law Reform Commission have given statements on it 4 or 5 times since the late '80s, to no avail.

Jo King

bluewolf wrote: »

about 20 years ago? more, really

What was the legislation? It certainly was not the status of Children Act 1987, which did not remove the concept of illegitimacy from the law.

smccarrick

smccarrick wrote: »

I think she meant legally. Legally- they are considered illegitimate, and unless the father is named on the birthcertificate, have no inheritance rights, other than as a stranger, from a tax perspective. The Law Reform Commission have given statements on it 4 or 5 times since the late '80s, to no avail.

eh
I thought the law WAS changed back in the 80s, I was watching something on it

maybe it was something slightly related

Jo King

I think this must have been it (possibly, I'm trawling through these things atm):

http://www.irishstatutebook.ie/1987/en/act/pub/0026/index.html

Status of Children Act 1987: abolished status of illegitimacy and amended law on maintenance and succession for non-marital children. Allowed unmarried fathers to apply for guardianship of their children. Provided for blood tests to establish paternity.

ah, you edited

Jo King wrote: »

What was the legislation? It certainly was not the status of Children Act 1987, which did not remove the concept of illegitimacy from the law.

How does that not remove it? it looks to do so? it's been reported as such any time I've heard about it

Jo King

bluewolf wrote: »

eh
I thought the law WAS changed back in the 80s, I was watching something on it

maybe it was something slightly related

You thought the law was changed. There were some changes in the 1987 Act which removed certain disabilities due to illegitimacy, such as inheritance. The concept of illegitimacy itself was not removed.
The o/p's child cannot be adopted whether she wants it or not.

Jo King

Jo King wrote: »

You thought the law was changed.

Yes, I did think so, so cut out the aggression.
I also don't see why that's so unreasonable since anything i've seen and read on it elsewhere declares this to be the case

The o/p's child cannot be adopted whether she wants it or not.

Well, I never disputed that part.

Stheno

Jo King wrote: »

The o/p's child cannot be adopted whether she wants it or not.

The Adoption Board website seems to state that children born within a marriage can be adopted in limited circumstances, but as stated previously the child would firstly have to be in foster care.

1988 Act Cases
Children placed in Long-term Foster Care placements can be adopted with the consent of the birth mother. Where the birth mother’s consent is forthcoming, the adoption can be processed under the Adoption Act, 1952 without recourse to the High Court. However, if such consent is not forthcoming or the child is a child of a marriage, the adoption must be processed the High Court under the Adoption Act, 1988 (for more information please click here). In many respects the two procedures are similar but the there are very important differences.

smccarrick

smccarrick wrote: »

I think she meant legally. Legally- they are considered illegitimate, and unless the father is named on the birthcertificate, have no inheritance rights, other than as a stranger, from a tax perspective. The Law Reform Commission have given statements on it 4 or 5 times since the late '80s, to no avail.

Ah I see now from http://www.citizensinformation.ie/categories/birth-family-relationships/married-couples/marital-status-and-inheritance
yeah there's a dispute on father's side inheritance but that's not "illegitimate", it seems to be more "proof of paternity"

mkaobrih

[FONT=&quot]Don’t do it - if you do your marriage will fail. Speaking as an adoptee – its not the bee all and end all. I don’t love or care for my adoptive parents or my natural parents only my husband and children. I wish I was a wanted child but I was not. Your kid won’t thank you if you abandon it. [/FONT]

Jo King

bluewolf wrote: »

Yes, I did think so, so cut out the aggression.
I also don't see why that's so unreasonable since anything i've seen and read on it elsewhere declares this to be the case

I challenged a previous poster as to the source of his information. You responded with a smart alec answer. You should not believe everything you read in the newspapers or see and hear on television.

Nevyn

Jo King I fail to see how your post above is helpful to the op who is clearly in crises and needs help. Please keep your posts on topic and helpful.