Girlfriends insecurities...

LegacyUser

This is going to be a bit long winded but please read on and help if you can..

I have been going out with my girlfriend for over a year now, We are crazy about each other and spend pretty much all day every day together, we're living together for college this year and we are so happy because last year was tough on us as we were in different colleges and it was extremely hard and my girlfriend suffered from depression for a few months which made things even harder on both of us..

She is better now but while depressed she developed lots of insecurities, she is a beautiful girl and she is so sexy and it just seems ridiculous that someone as beautiful as her could be insecure. I really adore her and never want to be without her and I tell her this all the time, we talk about marriage, a house, kids, everything and she knows i want it all with her and only her. But recently it seems like we cant even walk to the shop without her seeing a girl or a poster or a billboard that makes her insecure. And then she starts asking questions like "Is she good lucking?" "Ok if you don't find her good lucking is she good lucking to other men?" etc etc and it nearly always ends as a huge fight and we both get really upset...

Its really ruining us and we don't know what to do, We cant watch TV, we cant go to the cinema without checking IMDB to see are there any pretty actress' in the film and I dont mind that, I dont want to do anything that hurts her.. But its not just that, she needs to hear about people i fancied in the past in agonizing detail, she needs to know what they looked like, how i felt about them, how often i thought about them... I would gladly tell her all this but always ends in a huge fight where we go asleep angry at each other and aren't ok until lunchtime the next day..

Today she found out that I can tell if other people are good lucking when i encounter them, and she knows i don't find them attractive and only want her but she said it crushed her, she said it was the last straw and she cant handle all these feelings and insecurities anymore and she wants to end it.. I really dont want to lose her and just wish there was some way to fix everything.

When she sees a pretty girl it drives her nuts and shes probably thinking all sorts of crazy scenarios in her head and shes wondering what im thinking about that girl.. But when i see the same girl all I can think is "I hope my girlfriend is ok, I hope shes not feeling sad and insecure about this girl"

I dunno how to fix this situation, It feels like nothing can be done, I love my girlfriend so much and just want her forever, I don't feel any attraction to any other girls or any celebrities, I just want her and she just cant feel secure.. Its ripping us apart and other than this we are the perfect couple..

Does any have any advice? Has anyone been in a similar situation? Please dont say to end it because that's the last thing I want to do

Thanks

SarahSassy

She should probably talk to a doctor and / or a cognative therapist. I have a friend whose love life and normal life has been ruined by her insecurities and she is now 33. She is stunning, sweet and funny but because she was bullied about her freckles when young she thinks she is horrid.

This is outside of your ability to cure it. She needs professional help and the sooner she starts the better.

opinion guy

Has she/you both considered counselling ?


Edit: what Sarah said +1

tatabubbly

Ye honestly sound like a lovely guy just trying to help her. Your girlfriend needs counselling.. Every girl feels insecure at some stage but not to this high a degree.

Stick with her, if you love her and support her it'll work out in the end

ladymarmalade

I take my hat off to you, you have done everything you can to make your gf feel more secure. The truth of it is you can't she needs to see professionals who specialise in psychoanalysis/ behaviour therapy.

Although at present you are living in a half world.............. a falsely modified world where even a trip to the cinema can end in a row if the actress is pretty. You must be living on your nerves and this isn't right. It's not your gf's fault she needs assistance but you are losing out too, and one day you may regret it.
Urge her to get help , I hope it works out for you both .

CDfm

OP - when you are with someone who becomes mentally ill and it happens gradually stuff can appear normal that aint.

This is really a case for the GP to assess as she sounds a bit paranoid and its a bit more than being insecure.

So the best thing is to encourage her to go to her GP in the first intance and the sooner the better before college.