Friday Funnies

Rufus.T.Firefly

A young woman was preparing for her wedding.

She asked her mother to go out and buy a nice long black negligee and carefully place it in her suitcase so it would not wrinkle.

Well, Mom forgot until the last minute.

So she dashed out and could only find a short pink nightie.

She bought it and threw it into the suitcase.

After the wedding the bride and groom enter their hotel room.

The groom was a little self-conscious so he asked his new bride to change in the bathroom and promise not to peek while he got ready for bed.

While she was in the bathroom, the bride opened her suitcase and saw the negligee her mother had thrown in there.

She exclaimed,

"Oh no! It's short, pink, and wrinkled!"

Then her groom cried out,

"I told you not to peek!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jill and John got married.

John thought this would be a "marriage of the 90's" -- equal roles for equal partners.

So, the first morning back from their honeymoon, he brought Jill breakfast in bed.

Jill wasn't impressed with his culinary skills, however.

She looked disdainfully at the tray, and snorted,

"Poached? I wanted scrambled!"

Undaunted, the next morning, John brought his true love a scrambled egg.

Jill wasn't having any of it.

"Do you think I don't like variety?

I wanted poached this morning!"

Determined to please Jill, the next morning he thought, "third time's a charm" and brought her two eggs -- one scrambled and one poached.

"Here, my love, enjoy!"

Jill looks at the plate and says,

"You scrambled the wrong egg."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Italian Secret For a Long Marriage

At Saint Mary's Catholic Church they have a weekly husband's marriage seminar.

At the session last week, the Priest asked Giuseppe, who was approaching his 50th wedding anniversary, to take a few minutes and share some insight into how he had managed to stay married to the same woman all these years.

Giuseppe replied to the assembled husbands,

'Wella,

I've a-tried to treat-a her nicea,

spenda da money on her,

but besta of alla is,

I tooka her to Italy for the 25th anniversary!'

The Priest responded,

'Giuseppe, you are an amazing inspiration to all the husbands here!

Please tell us what you are planning for your wife for your 50th anniversary?'

Giuseppe proudly replied,

'I'm agonna go get her.'

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Billy Bob and Luther were talking one afternoon when Billy Bob tells Luther,

"Ya know, I reckon I'm 'bout ready for a vacation.

Only this year I'm gonna do it a little different!

The last few years, I took your advice about where to go.

Three years ago you said to go to Hawaii.

I went to Hawaii and Earline got pregnant.

Then two years ago, you told me to go to the Bahamas, and Earline got pregnant again.

Last year you suggested Tahiti and darned if Earline didn't get pregnant again."

Luther asks Billy Bob,

"So, what you gonna do this year that's different?"

Billy Bob says,

"This year I'm taking Earline with me."
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frroggy

All very funny - thanks a mil...i badly need a good laugh today!!