Don't know what you've got till it's gone?

LegacyUser

Hi Guys,

I'll try to keep this saga as short as possible.

I was going out with a guy for 4 years, we split up 2 years ago due to various reasons.
I think we were both too young or immature to settle down (both 24 at the time) and we needed time apart to see what else is out there.

During the last 2 years, we have kept in touch. We have both slept with a few different people and have both had mini relationships (2-3 month things, nothing serious). About a week ago he asked me to meet him. He sat me down and told me that he loves me to pieces, he's never met anybody like me before and that I'm everything he'sl been looking for. He said he's sorry it took being with other people to realise how amazing I am but that if I'm willing to put that all behind us he'd marry me in a heartbeat (easy for him to say cause he knows I never wanna get married!).

I have always loved him and I would love to give it another shot but I have reservations. These are as follows -

1) Does he only want me now cause he can't find anybody else?
2) Can people split up, sleep around and then get back together without jealosuy issues etc?
3) And this is a tough one, would we repeat teh same mistakes and split again?

Also, he has been violent in the past, nothing too bad, just a slap across teh face and once he threw a cup at my head leaving a mark. i don't fear him in any way though.

Any thoughts?

puglover

meepmeepmeep wrote: »

Hi Guys,


1) Does he only want me now cause he can't find anybody else?
2) Can people split up, sleep around and then get back together without jealosuy issues etc?
3) And this is a tough one, would we repeat teh same mistakes and split again?

Nobody can answer those questions, it's different for everybody. I'm sure you're going to get lots of negative and positive examples of both.

The question you should be asking yourself is " Is having him back worth taking the risk on everything else?

BTW. Violence is also a major concern and from what you've described they are both serious incidents. I don't know if you are in denial or what but don't make little of them and don't disregard the fact that he has violent tendancies.

wexford202

Ok I am not going to read too much into the whole violence things as you listed two instances that took place over a period of 4 years. If there is nothing else he has done he may have controlled his anger etc. So I am not going to put the whole focus of my reply to you on those two things.

I can say that it does take many people the expierence of meeting new people to realise they had the real deal in the first place.

Speaking from my own expierence it was definitely the case for me.

It also seems to be the case for many people I know.

Did you ever look at other people particurarly the single people when ye were first going out and think wow I would love a bit of that.This care free way. When you have that for a while you see how lonely it can be. Then you suddenly realise I had something that made me so happy, rarely made me sad and I never felt lonely. Can an be the turning point for someone and they will then think I had love and lost it.

A spilt for a while can be the best thing ever for some people. When they get back together they are like glue and the notion of far away hills are greener never comes into your head again.

If you think it is worth a shot go for it,

I don't think it's because he can't settle with anyone else I think it's because he does actually love you and although it took a while I would say he is pretty sure now abo0ut what he wants.

LegacyUser

wexford202 wrote: »

Ok I am not going to read too much into the whole violence things as you listed two instances that took place over a period of 4 years. If there is nothing else he has done he may have controlled his anger etc. So I am not going to put the whole focus of my reply to you on those two things.

I can say that it does take many people the expierence of meeting new people to realise they had the real deal in the first place.

Speaking from my own expierence it was definitely the case for me.

It also seems to be the case for many people I know.

Did you ever look at other people particurarly the single people when ye were first going out and think wow I would love a bit of that.This care free way. When you have that for a while you see how lonely it can be. Then you suddenly realise I had something that made me so happy, rarely made me sad and I never felt lonely. Can an be the turning point for someone and they will then think I had love and lost it.

A spilt for a while can be the best thing ever for some people. When they get back together they are like glue and the notion of far away hills are greener never comes into your head again.

If you think it is worth a shot go for it,

I don't think it's because he can't settle with anyone else I think it's because he does actually love you and although it took a while I would say he is pretty sure now abo0ut what he wants.

Thank you so much for your response. I'm not glossing over the violence btw, it's just that you hear and read stories of proper full on violence and mine pales in comparison. He is a great guy and I gav ehim so much stick over those two incidents. I have never been afraid of him and I don't think him being violent towards me will be an issue. If he ever raised a hand to me again I'd be gone and he knows that.

I do think it's worth it so thank you for clearing my head.