its all too much

LegacyUser

ive posted here before about different parts of my life that were problematic, but today i feel as if its all about to collapse in on me. Starts off, about a year ago my ex dumped me, we ended very badly and i ended up texting him giving out etc, im still angry ( yes after a year ) but he hates me now. Then i get made redundant and have to move home away from my ex. I thought yes, fresh start away from ex, but it didnt work like that. Then i met a guy i liked but he fooled me and that was that. Also, im very self conscious about my looks etc and today a stupid hairdresser ruined my hair i parted with 100euro and i feel ugly and crap. Im moving to dublin monday to college but i feel like not going because of my hair! Im so shallow - its really not that bad but i like long hair and she cut it short like a bloody mullit! Now i have to tie it back and i dont feel attractive when its tied back i used to see a counsellor and now im going to go back to her again, even thought she is 50euro an hour and im unemployed going to college! i know this is a long post but has anyone ever felt like its going to all come crashing down on top of them????

MizzLolly

Yep, every single person reading your post has felt this way at some stage. It's not abnormal to sometimes feel like everything is getting on top of you and that you need to take a breather. It happens very often.

What does strike me about your post is that in every single line you typed you managed to put a negative spin on it. While telling us about your ex who hurt you, you also casually slipped in about this other guy who 'fooled' you. Which isn't at all related to the first guy.

Secondly, you mentioned how you don't have much self esteem and then go on to blame your 'stupid' hairdresser on ruining your hair and making you feel ugly. So which do you think the problem is here? Your lack of self esteem or the fact that your hair is shorter than it was when you woke up this morning?

I'm happy to read that you are going to see a counsellor but again, while telling us this you manage to throw it out there about how much it's costing you. You are not even trying to look past the hiccups you've had. You're completely dwelling on any negativity you can feel bad about.

I can see lots of positives in your post, for starters, you're now rid of the guy who hurt you. He set you back a long way so no loss there by having him gone from your life. Likewise to this guy who 'fooled' you. Secondly, your hairdresser didn't knock your teeth out. Hair grows back, it's really not something to be crying about. Thirdly, you're in college. Lucky you!! So many people don't get this opportunity. Enjoy it. And finally, you're seeing a counsellor. This is going to help you to work on your self esteem issues and allow you to work through whatever is making you feel this way. Between this and your new start at college you have lots to be looking forward to. You're surrounded by lots of new chances and opportunites. Frankly, everything you've mentioned in your post is stuff everyone goes through. And we all get through it!

Try making a list of the positives rather than throwing all the negatives out there.

Also, your hair is hardly a big deal, I'm not even going to humour that all that much. Penney's have cute hats for a fiver at the minute!

Good luck