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Feeling very Inadequate

  • 16-09-2009 6:28pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Hi Folks,

    Been going out with my girlfriend for over a year and I have not been able to make her orgasm. She and I are both 26 and we have both had about 8/9 sexual partners prior to our relationship.

    She has told me she has never orgasmed ever in her life, and thinks that she might be the problem by 'not letting go' etc. I have been sucessfully able to make the majority of my previous partners orgasm without too much difficulty.

    I have tried a number of different things with her to try and help her peak- (even stuff suggested on previous orgasm problem threads), but I have failed.

    Ive started to feel down about it, and now I'm having thoughts about avoiding sex with her. She tells me she enjoys the sex with me, but I still can't help having these inadequate thoughts. I'm afraid she will get rid of me if I can do it for her, but then again she says nobody has done it for her previously.

    I'm looking for some advice off you guys, any input at all. and sorry for posting another orgasm-problem thread.


Comments

  • #2
    Oh The Humanity
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,324 ✭✭✭Oh The Humanity


    inadequate wrote: »
    She has told me she has never orgasmed ever in her life, and thinks that she might be the problem by 'not letting go' etc. I have been sucessfully able to make the majority of my previous partners orgasm without too much difficulty.

    Well then, stop blaming yourself. You should NOT be feeling inadequate and neither should she.

    For whatever reason your girlfriend is having trouble letting go and I would imagine that is more common than you think.

    I know it seems sappy but what about a session or two of sexual counselling....I sense from what you have said she has some sort of block and is probably frustrated about it herself.

    Also, whatever you do please don't stop having sex with her. For women (maybe men too?) one of the nicest parts of sex is feeling desired. It can be just as important to a person as orgasm.

    Try to remove the feeling of 'competition' from it too...as in 'I must make her come I MUST BE THE MAN TO CONQUER THIS!' ;) because you are putting pressure on yourself and her.

    She will sense your frustration and feelings of failure (which you must discourage in yourself) and become even more self conscious. This is a bad downward spiral for your sex life together.

    I am not sure how to go about the sexual counselling, perhaps the GP first.....


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