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Partner not able to orgasm

  • 16-09-2009 11:26am
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Hi all. I am in a new lesbian relationship. My partner (50) has never been with a woman before and was previously married. Our problem is that while she seems to enjoy oral sex she is unable to orgasm. She tells me that her last orgasm was over 20 years ago. We have discussed this and she says that she gets to a point of pleasure and is unable to "take any more." I have been in other lesbian relationships and there has never been a problem in the bedroom. I want to help my partner to gain fulfilment in this area of our relationship. Any comments, advice, help would be greatly appreciated. Thank you in advance.


Comments

  • #2
    Stark
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 21,084 ✭✭✭✭Stark


    Moving here as people might be in a better position to answer it. Mods, feel free to move elsewhere if you see fit.


  • #3
    Wibbs
    Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,217 Mod ✭✭✭✭Wibbs


    Cool, but folks, lets keep this PG. No details of an overly sexual nature or it'll be locked. Thanks.

    Rejoice in the awareness of feeling stupid, for that’s how you end up learning new things. If you’re not aware you’re stupid, you probably are.



  • #4
    shellyboo
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,883 ✭✭✭shellyboo


    Does she masturbate, can she orgasm alone? I'd suggest she needs to learn how her own body works before she can orgasm with a partner. Maybe suggest this to her, along with maybe trying a toy or two, if she'd be open to it.


  • #5
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Hi OP again. Thanks for your reply Shellyboo. We have talked about it and discussed masturbation. She says the same thing happened to her then. She gets to a certain point but no more.


  • #6
    VaioCruiser
    Closed Accounts Posts: 750 ✭✭✭VaioCruiser


    Worried37 wrote: »
    Hi all. I am in a new lesbian relationship. My partner (50) has never been with a woman before and was previously married. Our problem is that while she seems to enjoy oral sex she is unable to orgasm. She tells me that her last orgasm was over 20 years ago. We have discussed this and she says that she gets to a point of pleasure and is unable to "take any more." I have been in other lesbian relationships and there has never been a problem in the bedroom. I want to help my partner to gain fulfilment in this area of our relationship. Any comments, advice, help would be greatly appreciated. Thank you in advance.

    Hi OP. I do not want to appear at all negative, but I feel that you should tackle this on a specialist forum where there is likely to be a wider range of people with immediate experience of your issues. Yes it is an issue common in the hetero community but I wonder if there are subtle differences that might make all the difference.

    Please remember, as you can find out with a small amount of web research, that a significant percentage of women have life long problems orgasming and it can be caused by physical or emotion issues.

    All the best


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  • #7
    shellyboo
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,883 ✭✭✭shellyboo


    VaioCruiser wrote: »
    Yes it is an issue common in the hetero
    worried37 wrote: »
    Hi OP again. Thanks for your reply Shellyboo. We have talked about it and discussed masturbation. She says the same thing happened to her then. She gets to a certain point but no more.

    It sounds then that it's just something you're going to have to work on. Toys might really help here - I know of a lot of women who were pre-orgasmic alone, but managed it with the help of toys and a lot of stimulation. If she's open to trying that then give it a go. Lots of patience and encouragement will be needed on your end, but it sounds like you've got that part down :)


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