Atheists 'have more success at online dating'

Gregor Samsa

Around 42 per cent of messages which included the word "atheist" achieved replies, significantly higher than the average response rate of 32 per cent.

References to "Christian", "Jewish" and "Muslim" boosted a message's success rate only marginally, while mentioning "god" in a first approach actually discouraged people from replying.

http://www.independent.ie/lifestyle/independent-woman/love-sex/atheists-have-more-success-at-online-dating-1887984.html

dubois90

perhaps this tells us that in real life atheists are shunned so need to resort to the internet for love

Dades

Around 42 per cent of messages which included the word "atheist" achieved replies, significantly higher than the average response rate of 32 per cent.

Perhaps declaring yourself an atheist makes a strong statement about who you are, which will instantly appeal to other non-believers.

It's more open, honest and believable than saying you have a "sense of humour" or "like reading".

Calibos

dubois90 wrote: »

perhaps this tells us that in real life atheists are shunned so need to resort to the internet for love

That thought did occur to me too

However, we have to remember that in reality uber christians as opposed to a la carte christians are in the minority. The internet gives us a false impression that every Christian is an evangelical because its only the evangelicals that post on religious discussions for the most part. Mentioning 'God' or 'Our lord jesus christ' in your first approach is a red flag that you are an Uber Christian which turns off the a la carte moderate christians never mind us atheists.

On the other side of the coin, an atheist is not likely to highlight his atheistic views in any correspondence other than having the word atheist in his tags. Its only the uber christians which are in the minority on those sites that will rule out this person as a prospective date because they are a devil worshipper. The atheists will have no problem with other atheists and might even prefer other atheists and even the moderate christians wont have a problem dating an atheist.

Finally and I don't care how un PC this is to say, for the most part the average atheist is more intelligent than the average uber christian and at least as intelligent as the average moderate christian(who for other reasons compartmentalises religion from the rational side of their brains). If the christianity forum is anything to go by we are also funnier(what a dower lot over there), less needy, more content and much less of a chance of being damaged people from past traumatic events, afflictions or addictions. In short, much nicer people to be around and as a result, have a high success rate on those dating sites.

liah

Maybe people just don't want to have to share their potential partner with an invisible man in the sky.

thorbarry

Thats cos atheist's have no problem with sex before marriage... unlike them religious types

Calibos

thorbarry wrote: »

Thats cos atheist's have no problem with sex before marriage... unlike them religious types

Ah jaysus, there was me trying to come up with a psychological reason for the results of that survey and the Occams Razor answer was staring me in the face. ThorBarry has nailed it.

greendom

I would have thought that any expression of belief, including atheist, placed on a dating website would be a bit of a turn-off. If someone felt the need to mention it to enhance their attraction, then it would be quite likely that they were tub-thumping shout-it from the rooftops nutters and should be avoided like the plague. Unless you were of the same persuasion yourself, of course.

axer

I would assume it is because there are probably more athiests on the internet.

5uspect

I remember channel surfing across some dating show on TG4 recently.
They were showing a girl around some guys house so she could make see his personality before meeting him. (I guess they saw more than one house but I was channel surfing)

Anyhow this guy had a bible by his bed and one of the host said that it shows that this guy clearly considers the important matters in life and therefore was a better person, etc.

Perhaps there is a similar belief amongst tech savvy people who think non-belief is more... sophisticated.

thorbarry

Calibos wrote: »

ThorBarry has nailed it.

Thats not all I'm gonna nail... Dating site, here i come :P

Calibos

greendom wrote: »

I would have thought that any expression of belief, including atheist, placed on a dating website would be a bit of a turn-off. If someone felt the need to mention it to enhance their attraction, then it would be quite likely that they were tub-thumping shout-it from the rooftops nutters and should be avoided like the plague. Unless you were of the same persuasion yourself, of course.

I wouldn't consider clicking atheist from the drop down 'Religion' tag menu shouting it from the rooftops. I'd imagine thats the only area an atheist would give the game away. The moderate christians might click 'Christian' from the religion drop down tag menu. I wouldn't consider, that shouting it from the rooftops either. Its the evangelicals that can't help shouting it from the rooftops within actual messages sent to prospective dates. They can't help giving themselves away even when what they are typing isn't necessarily religious. ..."Hey, you live in Georgia too? Cool! The lord has blessed our great state with wonderful places to visit.....blah blah blah, wanna visit X with me"

I'd say the atheists only specify their lack of religion in the tags as a red flag to Evangelicals so that they don't waste their time on those evangelicals that didn't give the game away straight away. Don't get me wrong, I am sure most of us could and are friends with evangelicals but you don't have to live with them when they are just friends. You are on a dating site so are looking for romance and maybe ultimately a life partner. I doubt most atheists relish the prospect of ultimately living with an evangelical. It'd wreck your head.

So like I said, I don't think they have atheist in their tags as a badge of honour or to shout it from the rooftops, but merely as a red flag for the evangelicals. They know moderate christians won't necessarily be put off by it so they aren't in fact slashing the numbers of prospective dates by stating they are atheists in their tags.

greendom

Calibos wrote: »

I wouldn't consider clicking atheist from the drop down 'Religion' tag menu shouting it from the rooftops. I'd imagine thats the only area an atheist would give the game away. The moderate christians might click 'Christian' from the religion drop down tag menu. I wouldn't consider, that shouting it from the rooftops either. Its the evangelicals that can't help shouting it from the rooftops within actual messages sent to prospective dates. They can't help giving themselves away even when what they are typing isn't necessarily religious. ..."Hey, you live in Georgia too? Cool! The lord has blessed our great state with wonderful places to visit.....blah blah blah, wanna visit X with me"

I'd say the atheists only specify their lack of religion in the tags as a red flag to Evangelicals so that they don't waste their time on those evangelicals that didn't give the game away straight away. Don't get me wrong, I am sure most of us could and are friends with evangelicals but you don't have to live with them when they are just friends. You are on a dating site so are looking for romance and maybe ultimately a life partner. I doubt most atheists relish the prospect of ultimately living with an evangelical. It'd wreck your head.

So like I said, I don't think they have atheist in their tags as a badge of honour or to shout it from the rooftops, but merely as a red flag for the evangelicals. They know moderate christians won't necessarily be put off by it so they aren't in fact slashing the numbers of prospective dates by stating they are atheists in their tags.

If you're prepared to mention it in your bio then it's pretty important to you, whatever the belief. The article was talking about free text here - not a drop down menu of choices. And you can be an evangelistic atheist as much as an evangelistic Christian

mewso

Calibos wrote: »

Finally and I don't care how un PC this is to say, for the most part the average atheist is more intelligent than the average uber christian and at least as intelligent as the average moderate christian(who for other reasons compartmentalises religion from the rational side of their brains). If the christianity forum is anything to go by we are also funnier(what a dower lot over there), less needy, more content and much less of a chance of being damaged people from past traumatic events, afflictions or addictions. In short, much nicer people to be around and as a result, have a high success rate on those dating sites.

And of course we don't stereotype people at all...wait a minute.

Galvasean

Calibos wrote: »

Finally and I don't care how un PC this is to say, for the most part the average atheist is more intelligent than the average uber christian and at least as intelligent as the average moderate christian(who for other reasons compartmentalises religion from the rational side of their brains). If the christianity forum is anything to go by we are also funnier(what a dower lot over there), less needy, more content and much less of a chance of being damaged people from past traumatic events, afflictions or addictions. In short, much nicer people to be around and as a result, have a high success rate on those dating sites.

You forgot devilishly good looking :cool:

Splendour

Calibos wrote: »

I doubt most atheists relish the prospect of ultimately living with an evangelical. It'd wreck your head.

Christians who sign up to dating sites no doubt feel the same about living with an atheist. It is very difficult for an atheist and a Christian to live together as a couple as they're singing from different hymn sheets. ( Well actually,the atheist doesn't sing from any hymn sheet at all...:D )

Splendour

Galvasean wrote: »

You forgot devilishly good looking :cool:

Pics' or it's not true... :P

The Mad Hatter

Splendour wrote: »

Christians who sign up to dating sites no doubt feel the same about living with an atheist. It is very difficult for an atheist and a Christian to live together as a couple as they're singing from different hymn sheets. ( Well actually,the atheist doesn't sing from any hymn sheet at all...:D )

Unless they like the music.

kiffer

Splendour wrote: »

Pics' or it's not true... :P

the devilish part might be...

Galvasean

Splendour wrote: »

Pics' or it's not true... :P

Zillah

Nerds.

Seriously. It's because nerds use the internet far more than other people, including for dating, and nerds tend to be atheists. I wonder what the statistics for newspaper personals are like.

pH

Atheists are no good in bed
http://blogs.telegraph.co.uk/news/georgepitcher/100010175/atheists-are-no-good-in-bed/

"I* don’t for a moment - oh no - suggest that atheists are a bunch of lonely saddos sitting in chat-rooms at their bedsits, while the faithful are out finding hot partners."

Yea, I bet you don't.

* - George Pitcher is Religion Editor of Telegraph Media. He is an Anglican priest and serves his ministry at St Bride's, Fleet Street, in London – the "journalists' church".

Mark Hamill

pH wrote: »

Atheists are no good in bed
http://blogs.telegraph.co.uk/news/georgepitcher/100010175/atheists-are-no-good-in-bed/

"I* don’t for a moment - oh no - suggest that atheists are a bunch of lonely saddos sitting in chat-rooms at their bedsits, while the faithful are out finding hot partners."

Yea, I bet you don't.

* - George Pitcher is Religion Editor of Telegraph Media. He is an Anglican priest and serves his ministry at St Bride's, Fleet Street, in London – the "journalists' church".

The first response to the article sums it up for me really:
"You ever heard the term non sequitur?"

Talk about knee jerk article, his title has nothing to do with what he wrote, what a moron.

Obo

Atheists and zombies! The site that generated those stats, OkCupid, is generally more 'geeky' than the average dating site, and tends to have a higher ratio of atheists anyway. Now, if it was the likes of eHarmony I doubt atheists would have gotten a look in.

The Mad Hatter

According to the link that Obo just posted, Atheists are near the top of the list, but pipped off by Zeus.

Though very few people actually do it, invoking the sky-breaking thunderbolts of zeus does help a person get noticed (reply rate 56%)

lostexpectation

lol at the photo, tsk its just an ad

Galvasean

That reminds me, I must check my connecting singles profile...
Hmm my profile pic is rated at 7.55 (handsome devil) or if you break it down to demographs; women have me rated at 7.62 with men only 7.5 (stingy jealous types no doubt).
Interestingly, i scored highest among Women 26-32 (8.67) and lowest among Women 33-40 (6.2).

Stats are funny.

ozzirt

I'm damned sure that I wouldn't date a person who is old enough to be dating yet, still has an invisible friend.

Splendour

Galvasean wrote: »

Heh heh, this is a far cry from the red faced divil I had in mind!

Heisenberg.

This post has been deleted.

PDN

Religious people, of various varieties, tend to invest a large portion of their time in a face to face community, where relationships are built. Therefore it is hardly surprising that they will mostly find partners in such a setting.

Online dating exists for those who are unable to, or prefer not to, form relationships in the old fashioned way. Those who deliberately abstain from one of the largest and most common forms of social interaction will, therefore, be more likely to utilise online dating sites.

I would imagine that you could obtain similar results by comparing the response to messages that list 'reading' as a main hobby/interest to those which list 'sports'. This would be because those involved in sports are more likely to meet real people in their activities, whereas those who spend their time in solitary activity such as reading are more likely to turn to a website to find a partner.

Turtwig

Ahh now PDN, you're gonna need a survery to support you're beliefs.
Atheists might just be the best all rounders at getting a date:p

Splendour

PDN wrote: »

Religious people, of various varieties, tend to invest a large portion of their time in a face to face community, where relationships are built. Therefore it is hardly surprising that they will mostly find partners in such a setting.

Online dating exists for those who are unable to, or prefer not to, form relationships in the old fashioned way. Those who deliberately abstain from one of the largest and most common forms of social interaction will, therefore, be more likely to utilise online dating sites.

I dunno PDN, in my church there are plenty of singletons and I imagine it isn't the only one like this. This can lead to people marrying non Christians which we know isn't ideal,but understandable.

pH

Splendour wrote: »

I dunno PDN, in my church there are plenty of singletons and I imagine it isn't the only one like this. This can lead to people marrying non Christians which we know isn't ideal,but understandable.

:eek:

Maybe there should be a law against it eh?

robindch

Splendour wrote: »

I dunno PDN, in my church there are plenty of singletons and I imagine it isn't the only one like this. This can lead to people marrying non Christians which we know isn't ideal,but understandable.

To say the least, this is an odd claim to make in the A+A forum.

Would you care to back it up?

Zillah

PDN wrote: »

Religious people, of various varieties, tend to invest a large portion of their time in a face to face community, where relationships are built. Therefore it is hardly surprising that they will mostly find partners in such a setting.

The results are calculated per person, not over all. Hence, if your assertion that religious people find love in person more often is correct, then we should see less religious people using the site.

This would have no affect upon their rate of success once they do use the site, however.

PDN

Malty_T wrote: »

Ahh now PDN, you're gonna need a survery to support you're beliefs.

Splendour wrote:

I dunno PDN, in my church there are plenty of singletons and I imagine it isn't the only one like this.

Funny you should say that, Malty. Let's see if we can kill two birds with one stone.

http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m1355/is_n22_v92/ai_19916755/?tag=content;col1

The percentage of single people attending church regularly is significantly lower than average.

Of course, to be fair (I just can't help myself ), it is debatable which comes first here - the chicken or the egg. Is it that people who go to church are less likely to wind up single? Or is it that single people are less likely to go to church?

ChocolateSauce

PDN wrote: »

Religious people, of various varieties, tend to invest a large portion of their time in a face to face community, where relationships are built. Therefore it is hardly surprising that they will mostly find partners in such a setting.

Online dating exists for those who are unable to, or prefer not to, form relationships in the old fashioned way. Those who deliberately abstain from one of the largest and most common forms of social interaction will, therefore, be more likely to utilise online dating sites.

I would imagine that you could obtain similar results by comparing the response to messages that list 'reading' as a main hobby/interest to those which list 'sports'. This would be because those involved in sports are more likely to meet real people in their activities, whereas those who spend their time in solitary activity such as reading are more likely to turn to a website to find a partner.

I imagine that a large number of atheists who date online do so because they live in parts of the world like the American south, where atheism is taboo, and they can't meet up (or even find eachother) in the normal fashion.

PDN

ChocolateSauce wrote: »

I imagine that a large number of atheists who date online do so because they live in parts of the world like the American south, where atheism is taboo, and they can't meet up (or even find eachother) in the normal fashion.

Have you ever been to the American south? Your idea of it sounds very stereotypical.

I travel regularly in Tennessee, North Carolina, Georgia and Alabama. What you say might be true if someone is living in a shack in the mountains - but not to most atheists in those States. Atheism can hardly be described as taboo in cities such as Chattanooga, Charlotte, Atlanta or Birmingham. I've had no difficulty bumping into atheists in such places and have had many interesting conversations with them.

Splendour

robindch wrote: »

To say the least, this is an odd claim to make in the A+A forum.

Would you care to back it up?

Why is it odd?

I also imagine most Atheists' would prefer to marry an atheist rather than a Christian.

Zombrex

Malty_T wrote: »

Atheists might just be the best all rounders at getting a date:p

Meh, they probably aren't

In fact one theory for how religion evolved in the first place is because belief in supernatural structure to the world around us makes someone more attractive.

Why I always tell chicks I'm a Mormon

The Mad Hatter

Splendour wrote: »

Why is it odd?

I also imagine most Atheists' would prefer to marry an atheist rather than a Christian.

Probably just hardliners. I imagine moderates on both sides would be pretty compatible.

There was a thread on this a while back. iirc Tim_Robbins is married to a Christian.

dvpower

PDN wrote: »

Funny you should say that, Malty. Let's see if we can kill two birds with one stone.

http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m1355/is_n22_v92/ai_19916755/?tag=content;col1

The percentage of single people attending church regularly is significantly lower than average.

Of course, to be fair (I just can't help myself ), it is debatable which comes first here - the chicken or the egg. Is it that people who go to church are less likely to wind up single? Or is it that single people are less likely to go to church?

Church attendance is also skewed towards older people, who, I would have thought are also more likely not to be single.

The survey also found that a larger proportion of older people at tend church. Among 18- to 24-year-olds, 29 percent attended service while 59 percent of people 65 or older said they attended church.

Calibos

The Mad Hatter wrote: »

Probably just hardliners. I imagine moderates on both sides would be pretty compatible.

There was a thread on this a while back. iirc Tim_Robbins is married to a Christian.

Yeah, and its turning him into a religious appologist. He's going soft on us. Next thing you know he'll be agnostic and after that.......

Zillah

Calibos wrote: »

Next thing you know he'll be agnostic and after that.......

Born again...

The horror!

Splendour

Zillah wrote: »

Born again...

The horror!

And then...

...'Pastor Tim Robbins'. Has quite a ring to it don't you think...?

Turtwig

Splendour wrote:

And then...

...'Pastor Tim Robbins'. Has quite a ring to it don't you think...?;)

Sorry

ChocolateSauce

PDN wrote: »

Have you ever been to the American south? Your idea of it sounds very stereotypical.

I travel regularly in Tennessee, North Carolina, Georgia and Alabama. What you say might be true if someone is living in a shack in the mountains - but not to most atheists in those States. Atheism can hardly be described as taboo in cities such as Chattanooga, Charlotte, Atlanta or Birmingham. I've had no difficulty bumping into atheists in such places and have had many interesting conversations with them.

I can't speak from first hand experience, no, but I must say that I've simply heard of far, far more stories (and documentaries, news reports, etc) which would lean towards my impression than towards yours. I've heard people from Galway saying they've been stigmatised for being atheist, and the notion that the south, with is nothing short of legendary for its conservative Christian ways (to put it kindly and civilly), being more hospitable to the non-religious than the west seems a bit far fetched. Did you have any deep conversations there about atheists with people who weren't atheists?

I can say that in California in the state capital of Sacramento I encountered attitudes towards my non-religion which I would raise an eyebrow or two at, and again, I cannot accept that it would be anything but worse in the more religious areas.

Calibos

The South sounds like the kind of place where if you say 'I'm not religious', they'll reply, "I'll pray you'll eventually find our lord and saviour Jesus Christ", whereas if you say, "I'm an Athiest", they'll reply, "Wheres ma pitchfork!"

Zillah

"Not believing in God is one thing, but an atheist!?"

robindch

phutyle wrote: »

Around 42 per cent of messages which included the word "atheist" achieved replies, significantly higher than the average response rate of 32 per cent.

According to okcupid, one of the top internet dating sites, the reason for this appears to be that atheists and agnostics are significantly more liked than religious people.

The likeability matrix they produced is based upon what people say they like about other people, and how this matches with what other people say are. In summary, the "most liked" categories are agnostic females, jewish females, agnostic males, jewish males, buddhist females, atheist females, atheist males, followed by forty-two other classifications, all of which involve religion. At the bottom end of the scale lie muslim males, muslim females and hindu males.

Other interesting findings include that catholics are more universally liked than protestants, and most interestingly of all, that religious people like atheists and agnostics even more than they like other religious people!

Given okcupid's report, it's hardly surprising that atheists and agnostics have a higher response rate -- we just seem to be a more popular group. Well done everybody! Beers all around!

The full report is here and the summary graph is here: