Scorpion in my kitchen..

TequilaMockingBird

Black, small, impervious to 50 belts of a sweeping brush.

When did scorpions arrive in Ireland? The cat is freaked. I'm more freaked than the cat. I think it may be angry. (Tail is up - I've watched my Steve Irwin's)

Pyr0

Flamethrower is the only way to go.

TheZohanS

TequilaMockingBird wrote: »

When did scorpions arrive in Ireland?

Ages ago.

Can he still hold a tune?

AnonoBoy

TequilaMockingBird wrote: »

Black, small, impervious to 50 belts of a sweeping brush.

Sounds like my ex-wife.

Although she used to dish out the belts with the sweeping brush.

El Siglo

Scorpions are not indigenous to Ireland (for obvious reasons we don't have the climate etc... that would suit). Have you or anyone that hasd been to the house been abroad recently; North Africa, Asia etc...? What colour is it? How big is it?*






*This is key, try and describe what it looks like.

Rabies

Your cat is crap!

Auvers

any chance of a pic?

TequilaMockingBird

El Siglo wrote: »

Scorpions are not indigenous to Ireland (for obvious reasons we don't have the climate etc... that would suit). Have you or anyone that hasd been to the house been abroad recently; North Africa, Asia etc...? What colour is it? How big is it?*






*This is key, try and describe what it looks like.

Well, it's still black. I was hoping for a bit of red, but it appears to be impossible.

Diageio_Man

get a pic up or your clearly lying.

zero19

Shenanigans!

Fuhrer

TequilaMockingBird wrote: »

Black, small, impervious to 50 belts of a sweeping brush.

Have you tried rocking him like a hurricane?

Amalgam

There's a 'false scorpion' in Ireland, an indigenous species. Looks harmful, but isn't. Not sure if we just have one or more type of it.

I don't have a scanner handy, otherwise I'd scan a photo for you.

Amalgam

Amalgam wrote: »

There's a 'false scorpion' in Ireland, an indigenous species. Looks harmful, but isn't. Not sure if we just have one or more type of it.

I don't have a scanner handy, otherwise I'd scan a photo for you.

By throwing the scorpion on there?

c - 13

Select Sub Zero.
Do Freeze Move (D, F, LP)
Then Uppercut (Hold D+HP)
Repeat
Finish with Fatality 1 (BLK, BLK, R, BLK, R)

lee_arama

TequilaMockingBird wrote: »

Black, small, impervious to 50 belts of a sweeping brush.

Armoured predatory insect in immune to soft bristles shock. Did you not consider locating a hurley/bat/shovel/object harder than a BRISTLED object for the purpose of insecticide? (yes, they're not exactly insects but said I'd keep the latin to a minimum)

And Scorpions are already in the UK... Watch out for Sky News listing Scorpion Attacks in the UK -- 9,998 one minute, and Scorpion Attacks in the UK and Ireland -- 9,999 the next...

We'll have no tourism over the scorpions.

TestTransmission

Seriously,this thread demands Pics

JTER

I reckon its a devil coach horse beetle(rare enough in ireland) , scorpion like in the way it flicks its tail up. Is this the little bugger?

zero19

That thing looks gas!

Fuhrer

JTER wrote: »

I reckon its a devil coach horse beetle(rare enough in ireland) , scorpion like in the way it flicks its tail up. Is this the little bugger?

Did that thing just knock itself out?

8k2q1gfcz9s5d4

JTER wrote: »

I reckon its a devil coach horse beetle(rare enough in ireland) , scorpion like in the way it flicks its tail up. Is this the little bugger?

that beetle looks drunk

Naos

JTER wrote: »

I reckon its a devil coach horse beetle(rare enough in ireland) , scorpion like in the way it flicks its tail up. Is this the little bugger?

LOL.

The cats hands look fake as it timidly tries to touch it, very human like.

TequilaMockingBird

lee_arama wrote: »

Armoured predatory insect in immune to soft bristles shock. Did you not consider locating a hurley/bat/shovel/object harder than a BRISTLED object for the purpose of insecticide? (yes, they're not exactly insects but said I'd keep the latin to a minimum)

And Scorpions are already in the UK... Watch out for Sky News listing Scorpion Attacks in the UK -- 9,998 one minute, and Scorpion Attacks in the UK and Ireland -- 9,999 the next...

We'll have no tourism over the scorpions.

Yeah. Thanks for that.

I didn't use the bristles. I went hardcore. The hard side. It bounced off him. He's about an inch long, shiny black and invincible. Can't take pics, as if I do, he will clearly take the opportunity to climb into my ear while I'm faffing about with photobox.

Jeremy Kyle has just started. That might do it...

zero19

That's what i thought! Cats with opposable thumbs? Fcuk that... What's next? Ireland with a competent government??

Sofiztikated

TequilaMockingBird wrote: »

Black, small, impervious to 50 belts of a sweeping brush.

When did scorpions arrive in Ireland? The cat is freaked. I'm more freaked than the cat. I think it may be angry. (Tail is up - I've watched my Steve Irwin's)

You think its angry? You hit it with a f*cking brush, I'd be pretty pissed off as well!

c - 13 wrote: »

Select Sub Zero.
Do Freeze Move (D, F, LP)
Then Uppercut (Hold D+HP)
Repeat
Finish with Fatality 1 (BLK, BLK, R, BLK, R)

The gamer nerdery radiating off you is unreal. I lol'ed though.

TequilaMockingBird

JTER wrote: »

I reckon its a devil coach horse beetle(rare enough in ireland) , scorpion like in the way it flicks its tail up. Is this the little bugger?

THAT'S HIM!

Fuhrer

TequilaMockingBird wrote: »

THAT'S HIM!

How dissapointing.

PirateShampoo

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Devil%27s_coach_horse_beetle

"This beetle has been associated with the Devil since the Middle Ages, hence its common name. Other names include Devil's footman, Devil's coachman and Devil's steed. In Ireland the beetle is known as a deargadaol (literally Devil's beast) and it is said that the Devil assumes the form of this beetle to eat sinners. As with many supposed bringers of ill-luck superstition holds that people can turn the creature's powers to their own advantage and it is said that reapers used to enclose the body of a Devil's coach horse beetle in the handle of their scythes to improve their skill. The origins of these beliefs can perhaps be explained by the beetle's threatening appearance, and its habit of eating carrion."


Hope your not superstitious lol

TequilaMockingBird

It gets worse.

They "Play Dead" :eek:

I hit him enough to kill a human, he looked dead, then shook himself off and wandered off looking brazen.


I'm moving.

JTER

Or a sinner :P

anyways my work here is done :cool:

Sofiztikated

According to Wikipedia, the thing CAN fly.

Aw damn, I'm all creeped out. What if he leaves your house, and flies over here, and starts getting all uppity at me!

*gets out industrial size bug spray and a hammer*

PirateShampoo

TequilaMockingBird wrote: »

It gets worse.

They "Play Dead" :eek:

I hit him enough to kill a human, he looked dead, then shook himself off and wandered off looking brazen.


I'm moving.

Well they have Jedi mind control, so be carefull when you go to bed tonight. He might be waiting under ur pillow to crawl into your ear and take his revenge.

8k2q1gfcz9s5d4

Sofiztikated wrote: »

*gets out industrial size bug spray and a hammer*

or put a shoe on your foot.........crunch!

Splinter

deoderant and a lighter. see the ****er shake that off

Just The One

did it look like one if these

http://s864.photobucket.com/albums/ab202/justtheone/?albumview=slideshow&



I evicted this one the other day... it is a devil's coach horse

minidazzler

TequilaMockingBird wrote: »

It gets worse.

They "Play Dead" :eek:

I hit him enough to kill a human, he looked dead, then shook himself off and wandered off looking brazen.


I'm moving.

How do you know how much hitting will kill a human????? Are you a murderer???? Just catch it in some tuperware and stave it of oxygen!!!

TequilaMockingBird

PirateShampoo wrote: »

Well they have Jedi mind control, so be carefull when you go to bed tonight. He might be waiting under ur pillow to crawl into your ear and take his revenge.

Huh. They can't past sellotaped ears. Oh yes. They won't get me.

JTER

Iv never seen the larger ones fly, also those jaws can bite, when we were kids my friend went to pick up a 'dead' one , involved much waving hand in air while beetle still hanging on ,,of course you didn't want to know that

TequilaMockingBird

Just The One wrote: »

did it look like one if these

http://s864.photobucket.com/albums/ab202/justtheone/?albumview=slideshow&



I evicted this one the other day... it is a devil's coach horse

Why does the devil need a coach horse? I am pondering this..

while keeping a ninja like alertness

Futurism

What a let down. I was expecting it to kill you. Or, at least poison you.

Sofiztikated

Gianni Clean Scotch wrote: »

or put a shoe on your foot.........crunch!

But he hit it with a brush. Many times. Think of the force you can get into that, with the build up and everything, and this super Jedi beetle thing didn't even flinch!

Didn't we have a post a while ago about an invading badger, and now this?!?

I don't want to overreact or anything, but I think they're trying to wipe us out!

TequilaMockingBird

JTER wrote: »

also those jaws can bite

Ahh jesus.

TequilaMockingBird

Sofiztikated wrote: »

But he hit it with a brush. Many times. Think of the force you can get into that, with the build up and everything, and this super Jedi beetle thing didn't even flinch!

Didn't we have a post a while ago about an invading badger, and now this?!?

I don't want to overreact or anything, but I think they're trying to wipe us out!

she

Jedi beetles? And badgers?

This is the thing, I was belting it with the brush, the cat was looking at me in horror because I was so lame at killing it, I seriously looked at the the cat and thought "What Are We Going TO DO?"

I need a job.

ragg

Step 1: put on pair of docs
Step 2: Climb on top of table
Step 3: Squat Jump from top of table
Step 4: sweep up dead insect guts

Sofiztikated

TequilaMockingBird wrote: »

she

Jedi beetles? And badgers?

This is the thing, I was belting it with the brush, the cat was looking at me in horror because I was so lame at killing it, I seriously looked at the the cat and thought "What Are We Going TO DO?"

I need a job.

Apologies. Didn't think there was wimmenz on the internet.

You need to get rid of the cat, and get a frigging tiger. That'll stave off those bloody beetles. You may have a problem with the tiger though. So you'll an elephant to combat the tiger. Just don't hit the elephant with a brush though. They're very delicate.

Hells Belle

TequilaMockingBird wrote: »

Huh. They can't past sellotaped ears. Oh yes. They won't get me.

Thanks TMB I just spat coffee all over the monitor, the IT geek is giving me some filthies.:D

Sofiztikated

ragg wrote: »

Step 1: put on pair of docs
Step 2: Climb on top of table
Step 3: Squat Jump from top of table
Step 4: Miss beetle and fall on your ass
Step 5: Sweep up beetle while he's laughing his ass off

FYP

TequilaMockingBird

The DEVIL BEETLE is now in the garden.

Fly my baby FLY!

Pace2008

TequilaMockingBird wrote: »

Why does the devil need a coach horse? I am pondering this..

while keeping a ninja like alertness

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Death_Coach
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dullahan

You're ****ed, OP.

ScumLord

PirateShampoo wrote: »

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Devil%27s_coach_horse_beetle

"This beetle has been associated with the Devil since the Middle Ages, hence its common name. Other names include Devil's footman, Devil's coachman and Devil's steed. In Ireland the beetle is known as a deargadaol (literally Devil's beast) and it is said that the Devil assumes the form of this beetle to eat sinners. As with many supposed bringers of ill-luck superstition holds that people can turn the creature's powers to their own advantage and it is said that reapers used to enclose the body of a Devil's coach horse beetle in the handle of their scythes to improve their skill. The origins of these beliefs can perhaps be explained by the beetle's threatening appearance, and its habit of eating carrion."


Hope your not superstitious lol

Ireland easily wins the naming competition there, I see your Devils steed and raise you a DEARGADAOL!!

Min

ScumLord wrote: »

Ireland easily wins the naming competition there, I see your Devils steed and raise you a DEARGADAOL!!

Yeah that is what we call that, that Irish name, you see them now and again, harmless but yeah it was said it is cursing you when it sticks it tail at ya

Quite a common insect.

Sofiztikated

How do you pronounce the DEARGADAOL? I'm terrible at pronouncing Irishy words. I'm guessing Daare-Gad-Ol?

Even the word sounds evil and scary. Something an ole crone would point and curse you with!