want her back but dont know what to do

LegacyUser

ok so im gonna keep this as short as possible

i met a girl at the start of this year on a night out threw some friends as soon as i saw her i knew i liked her

at the time she was in a long distance relationship with someone and they didnt know when they were going to see eachother again

after a few weeks of hanging out and getting on amazingly she decided to break up with him.

we then proceded to go out for 2/3 months knowing all this time that i was going away to asia for the summer we thought we could make it work and i was crazy about her but at the same time it was a new relationship so i thought it would be a good idea to have some sort of open relationship until she came to visit(seriously regret making this suggestion now) she hated that idea at the start but then came around to it

so i leave and when im gone i realise how much i miss her, as in never felt like this about anyone before so i keep in touch as much as i can making sure she knows how i feel etc. so im gone two months and she tells me she is confused because im being so attentive now im so far away and i wasnt like that when we were together and thinks she is going to go visit her family instead of coming to visit me and that she hates this long distance thing and wants to break up. i get mad but im thinking i guess i understand she really misses them and thats fair enough and if she is not coming to visit then we probably should break up so we do.

so i carry on with my summer having a good time meeting new girls etc etc, as of now its about 2 months since we broke up and i had a bit of an epiphany i guess lol. i had a really ****ty night a few nights ago involving another girl i was half seeing but i hadnt been particularly nice to and it made me realise alot of things

1. i push people i care about away until its too late (my exs main complaint was that i wouldnt show affection in public and it seemed like i never wanted anyone to know i liked her) and i now realise i totally do this and i think its to stop getting hurt as i have been hurt in the past quite a bit

2. im homesick like crazy

3. while i love what i do right now it means im hanging around with alot of couples and i can see what they have and im sick of being on my own

4. and to me the most important one im not even close to being over her and i really really want her back as i think i can fix that pushing people away thing and really make her happy. i have never told anyone i loved them and before i didnt think i was in love yet but i really have never felt like this before or anywhere close to it but the thought of being in love scares the crap out of me not even to mention telling her that

now initially i decided that i just needed to get over her so i deleted numbers and contacts on teh net but then she contacted me about it and wasnt happy i had done that ( i really didnt think she would care) this has me thinking that there might be a shot at getting back together when i get home(in a few weeks)

i know she is seeing a new guy but something she said makes me think she is settling because he is doing the one thing i never did. now if she is happy with this guy then i am totally happy for her i really want her to be happy i just think i am the one that can make her the happiest

now my problem is i have no idea how to tell her exactly how i feel so she can see how sincere i am i think i should do it sooner rather than later which means an email but i really dont know what to do. i want to give it one more shot for her to think it is worth trying things with me again and if after that she dosnt thinks its right for her i can move on knowing i tried everything

so advice, what do i need to do what do other people think about the situation in general?

thanks in advance

She's with a guy - you want her
You get her - you want an open relationship
She breaks up with you - you really, really want her back
She's with another guy - you can make her happier

Actually OP I think the most important of your four points are "I'm homesick like crazy" and "I'm sick of being on my own".

I want to give you the benefit of the doubt but loneliness is a terrible thing and I'm not entirely convinced you'll feel the same way when you get home ... and I suspect she won't be convinced either.

In fact I suspect she'll have made the connection between you being more affectionate when you're far away and when she's with someone else.

You've done a lot of soul-searching and learned a lot about yourself, as people do when they find themselves in similar situations, which is great and to be applauded ... but your relationship with this particular girl couldn't have gotten off to a worse start and trying to mend this complicated situation by e-mail or phone is a bad idea.

And you're only guessing that she's settling for this other guy.

By all means if you honestly believe you and she are meant for each other, tell her how you feel when you SEE her again, but leave it be until you get home.