Unofficial job perks.

Coriolanus

Just curious, brought on by a young lady stripping down to her underwear in front of me in work today, trusting, somehow, that it was the done thing and I'd be nothing other than professional about it. (I was of course, still put a grin on my face for the rest of the day. )

So, everyone's lost their company car and free canteen, but what little perks do we all get? The little things that make putting up with work rather than quitting and drawing €500+ on benifits a week? Is it the "free stationary"? The little bit of joy you get spitting in the bosses coffee? Free tickets to gigs?

JeanClaude

Nevore wrote: »

brought on by a young lady stripping down to her underwear in front of me in work today, t

Pics or it didn't happen,,,:pac:

TestTransmission

Nevore wrote: »

Just curious, brought on by a young lady stripping down to her underwear in front of me in work today, trusting, somehow, that it was the done thing and I'd be nothing other than professional about it. (I was of course, still put a grin on my face for the rest of the day. )

So, everyone's lost their company car and free canteen, but what little perks do we all get? The little things that make putting up with work rather than quitting and drawing €500+ on benifits a week? Is it the "free stationary"? The little bit of joy you get spitting in the bosses coffee? Free tickets to gigs?

Wait a sec,you can get 500 quid a week on the dole?

orestes

Free beer

Max Power1

JeanClaude wrote: »

Pics or it didn't happen,,,:pac:

i think the expression is pics or GTFO

And make with the pics!

Coriolanus

I don't think the CCTV covers the fitting rooms, but they will shortly.

PCPhoto

Max Power1 wrote: »

i think the expression is pics or GTFO

And make with the pics!

forget pics .... I wanna see the mobile phone video clips !!! I know they exist !!! or the office cameras

Coriolanus

jackncoke wrote: »

Wait a sec,you can get 500 quid a week on the dole?

Dole + (get married, divorce, claim abandoned spouse) + (get diagnosed clinically depressed/mad as a hatter, claim disability) + (rent allowance, medical card etc etc etc etc etc)
It all adds up.

scottledeuce

Nevore wrote: »

I don't think the CCTV covers the fitting rooms, but they will shortly.

So you install security camera's in workplaces???

Biggins

Max Power1

PCPhoto wrote: »

forget pics .... I wanna see the mobile phone video clips !!! I know they exist !!! or the office cameras

If youre telling me to forget about the photos you should really consider changing your name first!

My name is URL

I work from home mostly so going to work in my boxers is a bit of a perk.. and all the porn in the world at my fingertips

tribulus

Really nice food and varied menu in the canteen.

Massage chair.

Coriolanus

scottledeuce wrote: »

So you install security camera's in workplaces???

No, I work in a tailors. The girl was in a hurry and didn't see the need to use any of our six changing rooms. :pac: In fairness, it's 10/90 whether it's a hottie like today or some trog auld one flashing leg and making passes at me. :mad:

And I don't have pics!

Free beer so far is the best.

Sofiztikated

I never need to buy a pen, ever again. I have a suitcase full of them. Not just from here, but from my last 3 jobs as well.

Quite a bit of internet use.

Still get free food. When its edible.

Whatever promotional crap that we get from reps.

Thats really about the height of it.

scottledeuce

My name is URL wrote: »

I work from home mostly so going to work in my boxers is a bit of a perk.. and all the porn in the world at my fingertips

I did this as well for a while and even rigged up a homer simpson "drinking bird" type device to press a key every so often so my vpn session wouldnt time out after 5 minutes.

Ahh...the days of hungover naps!

soundsham

gullible wims

tribulus

Nevore wrote: »

No, I work in a tailors. .

Any good deals ? :pac: Need a new suit.

There's plenty of attractive women in my place too, though I'm not sure I'd consider it a perk as such.

Free (good) coffee too is another one.

mikemac

Our fridge in the office canteen has free beer.
All the main brands of bottled beer. Stuck in work at 7pm and pissed off? Grab a beer and drink at your desk as you finish up
Stacks of coca cola/7up/fanta/Ribena all free to take if you're not after an alcoholic drink.

As for Fridays! People have two or three bottles before the day is over and then go home.
One lad has six bottles at his desk, now that's going a bit far.

Everyone helps themselves, from senior management to the young lad in the post room.

Tbh, I've never seen it in any other company in Ireland. But this is a Dutch company and I'm told it's very common over in the Netherlands and Germany.

PCPhoto

am self employed so decide when I goto work and when I dont ...... normally only do 5hours work a day ....sometimes less.


as a bonus - can organise passes to gigs (free in - sometimes not allowed to stay the whole lot though - sometimes you really dont want to !!! ), free into sports events (sit on the pitch and take pics)

had to make a choice yesterday ...go play football with the lads or go photograph Coldplay ...... my legs are sore from footy !!!

EDIT: It has its bad side - sometimes I dont earn money for my work - usually make something - ...and it usually takes ages to get paid. (6-8weeks)

the_cat_is_back

Pre-recession I worked for a company where we finished at 530 but every friday at 430 the boss would land in with crates of beer and order in pizza. Was a nice touch!

Turd Ferguson

Very fast broadband to do some illegal downloading....thats about it really

Dartz

orestes wrote: »

Free beer

Especially when your father works at James's Gate....

AnonoBoy

I'll get the vaccine way before you suckers ever even find out what was in that toxic cloud.

Muuuwwwwaaahhhaaaaaa!


Damn it I've said too much again.

anthony4335

Free stress with the pay check.

Main perk, having a job which so far out weighs everything else so far.

Senna

Turd Ferguson wrote: »

Very fast broadband to do some illegal downloading....thats about it really

+1

I'm stuck with mobile broadband at home, so i bring the laptop into work and make use of the wifi for downloading stuff. Normally use about 75-100gb of their bandwidth every month:D

LimeFruitGum

mikemac wrote: »

Tbh, I've never seen it in any other company in Ireland. But this is a Dutch company and I'm told it's very common over in the Netherlands and Germany.

When I worked in Germany, there was a beer tap in the canteen. We were like :eek: when we started, couldn't believe how nobody was getting pissed at work. I think a glass of beer cost one deutschmark or something like that.

Clare Bear

Free medicine, food and toys for pets.

But I don't own a pet so it's not much use to me at the moment.

AckwelFoley

i work in a tool hire shop now.

I can bring home a 3 tonne mini excavator when ever i like.

Great for digging deep holes.

Senna

snyper wrote: »

i work in a tool hire shop now.

I can bring home a 3 tonne mini excavator when ever i like.

Great for digging deep holes.

Didn't Fred West work in a tool hire stop?

PirateShampoo

Nevore wrote: »

Just curious, brought on by a young lady stripping down to her underwear in front of me in work today, trusting, somehow, that it was the done thing and I'd be nothing other than professional about it. (I was of course, still put a grin on my face for the rest of the day. )

Your a primary school teacher arnt you :eek:

Coriolanus

Clare Bear wrote: »

Free medicine, food and toys for pets.

But I don't own a pet so it's not much use to me at the moment.

Most of that stuff works just fine on humans anyway. You could make a fortune black marketing flea shampoo and purgatives!

snyper wrote: »

i work in a tool hire shop now.

I can bring home a 3 tonne mini excavator when ever i like.

Great for digging deep holes.

Or a MOAT! I want. :mad:

AckwelFoley

Senna wrote: »

Didn't Fred West work in a tool hire stop?

no, he did alot of work in a tool shed.

Theres a difference

Aidric

Match tickets for most internationals.

LD 50

Occasionally I'll get blowjobs off the secretary. And free cigarettes from reps.

Kiith

I get to browse through Boards.ie all day.

ejmaztec

PirateShampoo wrote: »

Your a primary school teacher arnt you :eek:

Bogus gynaecologist - helps to pass the time when you're 400th in the queue at the A&E.

squod

I notice no one from the hotel trade has posted yet. Probably 'working late'.

Hotel people often tell stories of romps in the quiet times. Fukk pension plans and cars, this has to be the best work related perk.

Tyler MacDurden

Nevore wrote: »

No, I work in a tailors...

Finally, I can put a face with the name:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LwJqOrJ1K-o

Sarn

As a public servant....unvouched expenses......

no such luck, although technically they're not unofficial as we all know

Coriolanus

Lolsome Tyler! :pac:

Sofiztikated

squod wrote: »

I notice no one from the hotel trade has posted yet. Probably 'working late'.

Hotel people often tell stories of romps in the quiet times. Fukk pension plans and cars, this has to be the best work related perk.

I posted. I'm in hotels. Hasn't happened in ages, but invitations to threesomes, getting groped by oul wans when delivering room service, getting offered money to essentially be a rent boy isn't uncommon.

But not a perk. Mostly its offensive, but as most hotel people will agree, we are prostitutes.

giggsy664

snyper wrote: »

i work in a tool hire shop now.

I can bring home a 3 tonne mini excavator when ever i like.

Great for digging deep holes to hide childrens bodies in

FYP

Lizard Queen

I get money off my vet bills, discount on pet insurance, get to rub puppies , i will be able to train dogs and have an unholy army of the night

The_Kew_Tour

I get overtime even when i dont work it..

sweet

Melion

Free tea
Free dinners

Work in a pub so i dont know if they're unofficial or not

Corruptedmorals

Unofficial- grabbing the last item in your size as soon as it goes on sale, putting it on hold and eventually buying it when the price has halved so much it's 95% off. Clearing out the stockroom and finding loads of €10 t-shirts for 50cent.

Official- the staff bonus of a week and a half's wages in store vouchers is still in place.

cynos

free fuel, free car(focus car/van)

AckwelFoley

Corruptedmorals wrote: »

Unofficial- grabbing the last item in your size as soon as it goes on sale, putting it on hold and eventually buying it when the price has halved so much it's 95% off..

wut?

Math

squod

Sofiztikated wrote: »

I posted. I'm in hotels. Hasn't happened in ages, but invitations to threesomes, getting groped by oul wans when delivering room service, getting offered money to essentially be a rent boy isn't uncommon.

But not a perk. Mostly its offensive, but as most hotel people will agree, we are prostitutes.

Nice one, I was thinkin' of more fukkin' the sexy room cleaners. But guests aswell, keep up the good work. I'm proud of you.

BTW a mate used to work in a bar in his twenties, he was a fukker for it.

Acoshla

I get tea and biscuits, which I know is common, but my boss makes me the tea and brings it to me and does a Mrs. Doyle on the biscuits, it's great!

I cuddle teddies a lot at work, and a lot of my time is spent setting up doll's houses, so much fun for a big kid like me.

And I'd been working there a month by Christmas and my boss gave me jewellery, chocolates and a teddy bear