Why bother.....

LegacyUser

ok this might drag on a bit, but any insight male/female is greatly appreciated!!


Right i have been seen this guy almost 2mths, everything is great he treats me fab, have nothing but time for the guy, were both 22 its been a while since i have allowed myself trust someone i find alot of people fake and high maintanience, anywho, we got chatting the other night and he was telling me that his ex who is also 22 keeps getting in touch and he said that he just wished she would go away, she rang that night and he answered now i just lay 'asleep' and he was like im sorry but u had ur chance u ruined it im with someone new so i suggest you leave us be, which was what needed to be said, the next night his phone went and it was her and the exact words were ' Hi Babe, i know your with someone, but sure ya know how these re-bound things fizzle out, im in tonight alone, would love to meet up'.

I was pretty annoyed at this, not at my guy, but that there is girls in the world, that thinks THIS is acceptable behaviour, now she isnt a 'i have low self esteem girl' when she had him she embarrassed him, she just tore him to shreds and he cant stand her for that,

Im not the kind of person to 'hate' someone or wish bad things for them, i always try and see some sort of logical rational reasoning, but is this girl just a horrible human being, or can anyone shed light as to why she is been like this???

This

Jealous!!!
thats all it is, she knows what she did was wrong and now wants him back. its just that simple.

Ignore her and get on with things. at the end of the day she is one behaving desperatly!

ManOfMystery

Just relax and enjoy being with the guy. He's being VERY open and honest about the whole situation and sounds like he is giving his ex the correct message (to back off), so I don't think you have anything to worry about in that respect. Let her want him all she wants, it won't have any bearing on your relationship - you have something she doesn't, so take some pleasure from that instead of letting it bother you.

VaioCruiser

+1 to both of the above replies.

.

LegacyUser

Thanks so much for the replies, i am totally secure and appreciate that he has been nothing but honest, and for that i think i like him more,

I think it baffles me that girls can be like this, its such child-like behaviour,

I guess it kind of dents your confidence in human nature,

VaioCruiser

toxicladies wrote: »

Thanks so much for the replies, i am totally secure and appreciate that he has been nothing but honest, and for that i think i like him more,

I think it baffles me that girls can be like this, its such child-like behaviour,

I guess it kind of dents your confidence in human nature,

I don't agree at all. If you read this forum on a regular basis you will see how difficult it is for many people to accept the end of a passionate and affectionate relationship. They miss it, they want it back, they will fight for it back. She is doing this. I admire her tenacity, if not her wisdom. Life is sometimes too short to let things go if you think you have a chance of getting them back. Her mistake is that it wold appear her chance is lost. Try to be understanding of her emotions, if not her tactics.

All the best

muboop1

VaioCruiser wrote: »

I don't agree at all. If you read this forum on a regular basis you will see how difficult it is for many people to accept the end of a passionate and affectionate relationship. They miss it, they want it back, they will fight for it back. She is doing this. I admire her tenacity, if not her wisdom. Life is sometimes too short to let things go if you think you have a chance of getting them back. Her mistake is that it wold appear her chance is lost. Try to be understanding of her emotions, if not her tactics.

All the best

I agree with this and at same time totally disagree.

Fair play to her fro realising the mistake she made, and trying to get her ex back.

But im assuming she put it all on the table long before this.
He rejected her completly, not giving her a maybe in future or anything.

What she is doing now is just bad imo.

Don't give up with out a fight is all good and well.
But as the OP says she treated him like ****.
She obviously didn't respect him.
And NOW, she is repeating that. She isn't respecting his wishes for her to back off, and could potentially wreck his happiness. thank god the OP isn't insecure etc...

I think if she has any decency she should just back off and leave them be.
Bad form on her to continue this practice.

dogbert27

Hi OP. Guys can be like this too. Had the same problem when I started seeing my OH. I'm assuming that you haven't met or spoken to this girl? If so the problem is that to her you don't exist.
If she hasn't seen you or spoken to you then in her world you're not real and she's not thinking of your emotions with what she's doing.
I suggest, if your boyfriend allows, that the next time she calls him when you two are together that you answer the phone and see what her reaction is.

LegacyUser

Hi OP again,

Vaiocruiser, i do agree that she is fighting for what she wants, but she had 8 months of his life, were she had her chance, he was single for about 4/5 months before me, why wait until he is seen someone to make a decision like this, i do know were your coming from, but wisdom isnt what this girl has, its pure selfishness, if i gave him up for her within 2 weeks she would have dropped him like a hot potato, yes life is very short, so why sit around moping about what could have been when you should be out making urself happy, or at least realising why he isnt jumpin back in your arms!

No dogbert27 i have never actually seen her, but i thought about the phone thing too, i thought it was silly, but im guessing not!

kittenkiller

I bet you anything that she's taken it as a challenge to her ego to at least have him want her back.
There are plenty of girls out there who need a man paying them attention to feel confident and content.
If she's aware that he's with someone else and isn't freaking with jealousy, then she's just trying to make herself feel better by at least tempting him away.
She'd drop him as soon as look at him if/after he took her up on her offers.

Some people just think of themselves and think that others are objects or props to their existence.
Don't take it personally, she'll get hers (or herpes) soon enough.

lolli

Op,

This girl has seen that your boyfriend is happy with someone new and doesnt like it one bit. She probably thought that she was the only one would could make him happy and shes now jealous of you guys being happy together.

I think that your boyfriend should stop answering her phone calls and text messages and she'll eventually get the message. If hes going to keep answering her that'll only feed the fire and she'll think shes in with a chance of getting him back.

VaioCruiser

toxicladies wrote: »

No dogbert27 i have never actually seen her, but i thought about the phone thing too, i thought it was silly, but im guessing not!

I don't agree with talking to her. This is your partners issue. Don't get dragged into it. It is his responsibility to sort it out, and fast.

All the best

dogbert27

Hi Vaio,

I don't mean for the OP to get in to a conversation with the ex. Just to answer the phone. The shock of this alone should put the ex on the back foot a bit,e.g. she calls

OP answers -Hello
Ex: em em is "insert name" there?
OP - sure I'll get him for you know, who should I say is calling?

and then hand the phone over.

Or else what might happen after saying hello is that the ex will get an instant shock and hang up staright away.

It would let the ex know that the other girl is real.