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Rebuilding social circle

  • 15-09-2009 11:32am
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Hi

    I'm a 24 (almost 25) year-old male coming up two two months since my ex broke up with me. She lived in a different county and worked on weekends and as a result this meant I did most of the travelling, and giving up my only real time to see my friends (the weekend). Now that things have ended, I'm finding it difficult to re-adjust now that I'm single, and I'm finding my life has reverted to a dreary cycle of work / home, work/ home.

    I've found that most of my friends, through a mixture of them working abroad and general indifference on their part, haven't been very supportive during this difficult time.
    Most of my friends in my area went to school together while I did not, and so even when I do see them it can be very cliquey, and I'm often excluded from any decision making. Two examples would be that I'm normally informed of where they are heading out on a Saturday night, when they are actually there in the location drinking pints!! So I end up trotting in on my own.

    Another example was that four of us were planning to visit a mutual friend working in England in December, and I got a text telling me that apparently there was a problem on the ryanair website which meant that instead of being able to book four low cost tickets, they could only book three low cost ones, and one higher price one, on a different part of the plane. I'm not even sure I believe that excuse, but guess which one I got...

    I'm fairly easy going, not exactly the life and soul of the party but I'll make an effort with anybody. I work in software development which means I can be working funny hours now and again. I love music, playing my bass, and films and reading, and doing some personal programming projects, but these are all solitary activities.

    It's an issue I've tried to address before, by going to photography classes for example, but I found that the social life outside of the classes was fairly subdued and was confined to a couple of pints late in the evening.

    I guess I'm looking to rebuild my social circle with new friends, both guys and gals, as its all guys as it is, both friendwise and workwise! I just want to meet people I can have fun with, depend on and who can depend on me, and one whose activities dont simply revolve around drinking, because that is *so* boring and expensive, or computers as I see enough of those during my working week!

    I know this has probably been asked a million times before, and there may be very obvious answers to my question, but I'm feeling so lost that I don't really know where to look.
    Any suggestions would be appreciated.

    Thanks very much


Comments

  • #2
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    well a musical society / drama group can be a good thing to join, even if you are not especially into music/ drama there will be lots of people in similar boat.
    Also Boards get togthers happen every now and again, maybe one in an area near you.
    -sorry just re read your post and noticed the drinking thing, well TBH if you are lookiong for soical outlets that don't involve drinking they are very few and far between IMO. Nothing wrong with going to the pub and being a light drinker now and again.

    You could also try some kind of volunteering, maybe something like a charity bookshop for a few hours on a Sat afternoon, or whatever floats your boat.

    I think you just have to tough it out and things will fall together for you best of luck.


  • #3
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    What about an outdoor activity like hillwalking? This is a good way to meet a variety of people in a different setting to the pub/club scene.


  • #4
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    NeedToRebuild wrote: »

    Another example was that four of us were planning to visit a mutual friend working in England in December, and I got a text telling me that apparently there was a problem on the ryanair website which meant that instead of being able to book four low cost tickets, they could only book three low cost ones, and one higher price one, on a different part of the plane. I'm not even sure I believe that excuse, but guess which one I got...

    Did they not split the total price of the tickets 4 ways? Sorry dude, but these guys don't sound like the nicest of people. Certainly if it was my mates, we'd split the cost on something like that.

    In terms of getting out there and meeting people, well, anything where you're active is a good start. You meet like minded people and you get to keep fit at the same time.


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