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don't find him physically attractive

  • 14-09-2009 5:35pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    My boyfriend of a few months has a great personality, is very kind and considerate, he's so nice it's impossible to have a row with him, but the thing is I can't say I'm mad about him looks-wise. Is it possible to fall in love with someone when you feel like this?


Comments

  • #2
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    I was in a very long relationship where there was lots of love but very little attraction...in my experience it either is there or it isnt. That spark is very important and as you age(I am 44) most women get more interested in sex..not less contrary to myths!


  • #3
    Wagon
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,119 ✭✭✭Wagon


    just-wondering wrote: »
    My boyfriend of a few months has a great personality, is very kind and considerate, he's so nice it's impossible to have a row with him, but the thing is I can't say I'm mad about him looks-wise. Is it possible to fall in love with someone when you feel like this?
    No. Don't think so.

    Mainly because in the future, you'll probably look at other men and end up dumping him (or worse, cheating on him)

    So you may as well break up with him now. From my own point of view, id rather be single than in a relationship with someone who doesn't find me attractive.


  • #4
    kjl
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,127 ✭✭✭kjl


    of course. Have movies taught you nothing.

    Do you find him sexy?


  • #5
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    I am in the same boat at the moment. BF is loving, Caring, everything you would want in a guy, but altho I was not instantly attracted to him, I went with it because he is a good looking guy... just no sparks. As time has gone by we have become more and more like friends. Its only been about 4 months, but I think its time to call it a day. Otherwise I would be just stringing him along till something better comes along.... and thats just not fair is it????


  • #6
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    hi there, i understand how you feel, im seeing a really nice guy, has everything going for him, early days, only 6 weeks but im not sure is there a spark my side .. yet. In other relationships ive always had a spark and do think its essential, if you find its not happening your side, you probably are better off finishing it as you may start looking elsewhere if not sooner later, unless of course the spark is nt that important...


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  • #7
    Julietta
    Closed Accounts Posts: 39 ✭Julietta


    Hi there

    I posted a thread about this a while back, it's called the rules of attraction, try to search for it as I got some really great replies/advice on exactly this topic. I am still with the guy I posted about and am absolutely nuts about him - true, I was unsure at the start as I just wasn't hugely attracted to him but for me, it was just a slow burner and I would have to say I feel more deeply for him because of this. I think I was used to wanting to rip someones clothes off as soon as I saw them almost as soon as a relationship started but with him, it took me a while to get there. Having said that op, there was definitely some attraction, when he kissed me I got the shivers even though he's just not good looking (I think he's a big ride now though :D) so I guess I would have to say that there has to be at least that to continue on - is there even that?

    J.


  • #8
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    OP here again. Julietta, I feel exactly as you did... I do get the shivers when he kisses me, holds my hand. The last few weeks I haven't really been looking forward to meeting him, not that I didn't want to, just felt indifferent about it, but yet I enjoyed all the days we spend together, yet next morning I wake up thinking the same thing again. I think that's why I'm feeling so confused. I guess maybe I'm a bit scared to drag things on and still will be feeling the same in a few months.


  • #9
    Emme
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,055 ✭✭✭Emme


    If he's nice in other ways, treats you well etc, and there's a little bit of a spark hang in there as attraction can grow.


  • #10
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Hi op. I've no answers as I'm in the same situation as you at the moment and dont know what to do either. My fella is so nice & has made it clear he's really into me but I find it hard to reciprocate when I dont feel the same. I've only gotten with him lately so I just dont know if it's fair on him to keep seeing him while I wait to see if an attraction will develop. My gut feeling says end it now.


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