Boyfriend started in my workplace, and boss favours him

LegacyUser

Hey all.

Bit of an annoying niggle here - but it's creating issues, all the same.

I work part-time in a very young, funky workplace, science-related, mainly employing students. I started almost a year ago, and I love my job - the pay is good, my colleagues are great, and I really, really enjoy the work.

However, there's one problem, and that's my boss. I'm not sure if she's narky **** who dislikes me or if she's just prone to being irritable and impatient, but she always makes me feel like I'm doing a bad job, even though I know I don't, and that I'm great at my job [the public love me, I'm good at explaining things, and my enthusiasm shows]. She comes around and snaps at me [and the other staff] regularly, but other times she's fine. It's been like this for most of my time here, though, and doesn't get to me too much, especially seeing as I'm not being singled out. I guess I'm just a bit sensitive, is all.

A few months ago, they were looking for extra staff, so I got my boyfriend a job there by recommending him to my bosses. He wouldn't have gone for it by himself, and I doubt he'd have gotten it without my recommendation.


However, now that my boyfriend has started, it's started to cause issues. My boss treats him far, far better than me, giving him sweet shifts and extra work, even though he's had far less experience than me, and is probably less qualified, too. They're pally as hell, and are always talking to each other. He can't understand why I don't like her, because he never gets that treatment himself. It's really getting to me. I'm beginning to dread the idea of returning to work [I was away for the summer], because I'll have to deal with this.

An additional drawback of his working there is that I feel sort of smothered, or something - I liked having my own job, and my friends all work there. Now my boyfriend is always hanging out with my friends, and my boss, at MY workplace! I feel like I'm being edged out of my own life!

Am I just being completely stupid, or is there something to this? What should I do? Any other posters in similar situations?

How Soon Is Now

The things is end the day you got him the job there so you cant really complain if he is gettin on with staff and trying to fit in with your work friends.

Think of it from his point view maybe he likes working with you and enjoys the job its not his fault the boss likes him is it? Like maybe just make most of it ignore your boss like its rare u find a good one anyway. The friends thing its hard to explain to him with out hurting his feelings or confusing him. I mean if my girl got me job and then when i got on with everyone in the job she wasnt happy with it id be kinda pissed off as if to say why did u bother in the first place???

ManOfMystery

I think you're over-reacting a bit here and being unfair.

Let's be honest - your boyfriend starting has not directly had any effect on your work or your job. He's not getting in the way of your work or distracting you. Your boss isn't treating you any differently than she treated you before, or treats everyone else. Everything is the same except your boyfriend is now also in the workplace, a situation which you engineered.

I think it's your perception that needs to change; your boyfriend is making an effort, fitting in, and this is rubbing you up the wrong way. Perhaps it's a slight jealousy issue, who knows. Would you rather he did badly??

You also say you're being edged out of your own life. IMO, again it's not your boyfriend's doing. If you can't handle the fact that he may have made friends with your acquaintances, then you shouldn't have asked him to work there. What did you expect? I could understand it if you said he was taking your friends out to socialise and NOT asking you, but it simply sounds like he's being nothing more than friendly and civil with them in the workplace.

If you're finding that you're spending too much time together, then try and do something some evenings which doesnt involve your boyfriend.

LegacyUser

90% sure I know where you're talking about.

If so, it's a pretty cushy and relatively highly paid job. If you're getting "snapped at", I wouldn't take it to personally. Since your job involves interacting with the public, it can be a bit of a tense environment at times, don't take it personally.

It's kind of your own fault for getting your bf a job there if you considered it to be somewhat of a refuge from the rest of your life, as you imply by the following:

An additional drawback of his working there is that I feel sort of smothered, or something - I liked having my own job, and my friends all work there. Now my boyfriend is always hanging out with my friends, and my boss, at MY workplace! I feel like I'm being edged out of my own life!

Anyways, the solution is to simply not work the same shifts as your bf, which surely can't be too hard.

LegacyUser

OP here again.

The reason I got my bf the job there was because he needed a summer job and prospects weren't looking so good for him unless I'd stepped in. In hindsight, I probably should have thought it through a bit better - but I didn't expect this to happen, nor did I expect I'd be so bothered by it!

I guess I like to have a certain degree of compartmentalisation, and that's starting to fall apart. Now, giving up my job would be an easy solution, but I really like it there, and don't want to leave.

It's the seeming favouritism that's creating most tension, though.

I realise this is a very minor complaint and I'm possibly being slightly irrational, but goddamnit, I'm territorial! Sigh. Yeah, I've already decided not to work the same shifts as him, and told him I don't want to hear about his fabulous relationship with the boss. It's the only thing we've ever really argued about, actually - how ridiculous is that!?