Funny Tramps.

StormWarrior

Have you ever met a funny tramp? At a bus stop in Sweden at about 1am I met a very drunk and filthy tramp with a huge beard who told me that he was very rich and owned a luxury apartment in every capital city i Europe, but that he chooses to live on the streets because it's a good way to meet people and make new friends.

An Italian friend of mine was telling me that in her home town there is a tramp who's famous (in that town.) Everyone calls him "The Glove," but she doesn't know why. Apparently in his twneties he was a rich and successful lawyer with a huge house, but then he got married and had kids. He couldn't cope with it, had a nervous breakdown, and signed over the house and all of his money to his wife. He went out onto the streets with only the clothes on his back and has lived there ever since. (he's now about 70.) He has seemed perfectly happy living on the streets for all of these decades, but is apparently a bit mad. He collects cardboard boxes, not to live in, but to just pile up and keep as his personal possessions. He sometimes strips totally naked and stands there in the street yelling at passersby, but most of the time he's ok. He survives on food donated by the people of the town but instead of thanking them he accepts the food and then screams obscenities at them. He sounds like a laugh I think.

Anyone else met any tramps with interesting life stories?

Sharpshooter

Oh sweet jesus......

Whosbetter?

Where's Grandad?

PhysiologyRocks

Well I met one today who played a harmonica on the bus to cheer me up.

And I saw another with a cat in her bag.

I was talking to one who used to work for a demolition company and did some semi-pro boxing in his spare time.

MagicMarker

Neither of those tramps sound like they'd make good comedians.

pikachucheeks

There's a dwarf tramp where I live with a gambling addiction!

brummytom

Went to the cinemas once, there's a tramp outside Iceland.

One mate says to the other (jokingly) "I'll pay you a fiver to punch him"
He got up, roared "D'YOU WANNA SAY THAT AGAIN?! and chased them down the road.

dyl10

I always thought Jordan had a good sense of humour...

Borneo Fnctn

Sharpshooter wrote: »

Oh sweet jesus......

Actually he was a qualified carpenter.

This_Years_Love

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showpost.php?p=62029928&postcount=16

ziggy23

There used to be one outside my job who I'd buy the odd cup of tea for. well he got it into his head that I was his girlfriend and would go up to penneys and rob knickers for me. I never took them but it was kinda sweet of him I suppose....

Sharpshooter

jackpalance wrote: »

Actually he was a qualified carpenter.

Who ended up nailed to said wood.

galwayrush

Don't laugh, coz like the lottery, some day it could be you.;)
Mind you, the lottery is much harder to win odds wise.:rolleyes:

galwayrush

Sharpshooter wrote: »

Who ended up nailed to said wood.

I won't make the same mistake a second time.

Sharpshooter

galwayrush wrote: »

I won't make the same mistake a second time.

Jesus there you go, we have completed the circle.:D

StormWarrior

I remember another one. When I was 15 or 16 me and 3 friends, 2 boys and a girl, were walking through town when a very aggressive tramp began hassling us. He demanded that me and one of the boys have sex, and started making humping motions to show us how to do it. Then he screamed at one of the boys (who had long hair and was a tad on the chubby side) "You're a fat little girl aren't you." Then he demanded the boys fight him and chased us through a shopping centre. I do love tramps.

brummytom

Sharpshooter wrote: »

Who ended up nailed to said wood.

Sure we've all had problems with unwanted wood.



Our RE teacher was telling us today about how we'll have no friends when we're older so we might as well revise instead of socialising. WTF?!

galwayrush

I work a lot with wood,

brummytom

I'm afraid to say anything to do with erections or masturbation now.
I can just picture the disappointment in SS's eyes


Anyway, tramps all look like Santa

galwayrush

brummytom wrote: »

I'm afraid to say anything to do with erections or masturbation now.
I can just picture the disappointment in SS's eyes


Anyway, tramps all look like Santa

Sorry Tom, but it's almost page 3 of this thread, it's obligatory to mention spanking the monkey at this stage.:D

Jesus Wept

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8XEn0_EUx2Y

TheCardHolder

One followed my friend around temple bar screaming ''you stuck up sprite w*nker'' because my friend had a sprite. :pac:

Reminded me of the inbetweeners

brummytom

galwayrush wrote: »

Sorry Tom, but it's almost page 3 of this thread, it's obligatory to mention spanking the monkey at this stage.:D

Wish I could, but not after the roasting I got last time.

Roasting... hehe.

Anyway, school tomorrow, bed beckons.

.O/


There's one Eastern European tramp in town who screams "BIIIIIIIIIIIG ISHHHHHHUUUUUEEEEEEE" all the time.
Love it

PhysiologyRocks

PhysiologyRocks wrote: »

And I saw another with a cat in her bag.

Here's a tramp with dogs in her bag.

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_zqZvFCAQ4x4/ScpqQRoYDWI/AAAAAAAAADg/auAx7MxxQ9U/s320/Paris-Hilton-Dog.jpg

flanum

StormWarrior wrote: »

Have you ever met a funny tramp??

Yes... Yes i have!

luckylucky

ziggy23 wrote: »

There used to be one outside my job who I'd buy the odd cup of tea for. well he got it into his head that I was his girlfriend and would go up to penneys and rob knickers for me. I never took them but it was kinda sweet of him I suppose....

Penneys eh - He obviously realised you were a posh bird :P

I was in Paris a few years ago having breakfast/lunch in a cafe when looking around I noticed a chinese looking tramp on the ground across the road playing with himself.

blinding

luckylucky wrote: »

Penneys eh - He obviously realised you were a posh bird :P

I was in Paris a few years ago having breakfast/lunch in a cafe when looking around I noticed a chinese looking tramp on the ground across the road playing with himself.

That is a little bizarre alright. I hope it did not unsettle your breakfast.

Not everyone can say that they have seen this.

pikachucheeks

Out of interest, has anyone seen that tramp in Wexford who begs on the main street?
The only way I can describe her is ... Susan Boyle's traveler half-sister. Curly, greasy black hair. Bearded. Very fat. She lies on the street, like a beached whale and attempts to sing, to make money.
More often than not, people give her money to shut up!

david

Yes but none of the songs make sense? It's like a sort of groaning noise? She's been there for as long as I can remember (Since I was about 5 so 15yrs?)

stovelid

Do we actually have tramps here?

I thought they had burst top-hats, toe-less boots, (a faithful dog is optional) and they congregated around steamboat jetties wheezing into mouth-organs.

Poccington

pikachucheeks wrote: »

Out of interest, has anyone seen that tramp in Wexford who begs on the main street?
The only way I can describe her is ... Susan Boyle's traveler half-sister. Curly, greasy black hair. Bearded. Very fat. She lies on the street, like a beached whale and attempts to sing, to make money.
More often than not, people give her money to shut up!

I thought everyone looked like that down in Wexford tbh.

RonMexico

Axl Rose might be down on his luck but he makes for one hell of an entertaining tramp :pac:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tTccU4CcFu0

Sea Sharp

Anyone from the Blanchardstown area should know of 'J***y the Knacker' and two litre P**er.

The knacker lady was an interesting one. Originally from England she lives in a caravan and has about 10 dogs. She owned/owns millions of euro worth of land.

Then the other guy, when he died everybody was talking about it. The tramps are well known around here.

ziggy23

luckylucky wrote: »

Penneys eh - He obviously realised you were a posh bird :P

I was in Paris a few years ago having breakfast/lunch in a cafe when looking around I noticed a chinese looking tramp on the ground across the road playing with himself.

Haha I'm a classy bird alright;) Somehow I don't think they'd let him into Brown Thomas:p

And eww about your man playing with himself put it away son:eek:

seanybiker

we have the best one ever. tramp/bum/wino thingmebob. Ould howdo is a legend .

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xhAHK34yIyg

Four-Percent

The-Rigger wrote: »

"Good man,boy"

Pygmalion

pikachucheeks wrote: »

Out of interest, has anyone seen that tramp in Wexford who begs on the main street?
The only way I can describe her is ... Susan Boyle's traveler half-sister. Curly, greasy black hair. Bearded. Very fat. She lies on the street, like a beached whale and attempts to sing, to make money.
More often than not, people give her money to shut up!

Good old Maggie Hurley.

Pics here and here.

She's even mentioned on slang.ie here.

david

Pygmalion wrote: »

Good old Maggie Hurley.

Pics here and here.

She's even mentioned on slang.ie here.

Thats the one!

blue-army

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xhAHK34yIyg

How-do wins.

Coriolanus

There was a fella always on the number 10 in Dub when I was in College. Used to serenade the first year girls.

Bajingo

When I was about 16 I used to hang around the areas where tramps liked to hang out aswell..coincidence really.:D

Anyway there's one particular tramp I remember. He approached a friend of mine and began to describe how the building across the road was built. He said the builders where stupid for building from the top down..which didnt really make sense:p..anyway my other friend decides to make a fart noise in his ear and hide behind me. He then turns around and screams at me 'How dare you do that in the presence of a lady! Your too skinny to squeeze a fart between your tiny cheeks!'

I was horrified!

kumate_champ07

PhysiologyRocks wrote: »

I was talking to one who used to work for a demolition company and did some semi-pro boxing in his spare time.

poor steve collins

Elliemental

There was a tramp in my local area (south Belfast), who used to go round with two little dogs in the basket of his push bike, and he`d have them wearing paramilitary style balaclavas and sunglasses.