27 year old acts like a child

lisajane

Iv had enough of my sister's tantrums. She's 27 but acts as if she's 4.

I haven't spoken to her since the end of june and i never want to again. Its the honest truth.
She's fcked up in the head. She has to be. Over the past year there has been a hundred times where she blamed me for taking stuff of her, things in which she misplaced but i always got the blame. Other times she would call me spiteful if i refused to do sit in with her while she was learning. Other times she would say i was jealous of her if i refused. When i ignore her moods she goes around the place stomping and shouting. It doesn't matter what time of the day or night it is. She uses any excuse to turn against me.

She would get moody, lash out at me, verbally abuse me for whatever reason. I never knew when she would attack me next. I always have to watch what i said with her, because i didn't want to start her off. It was always like walking on eggshells.

I don't want to live like this. Always watching what i did, what i say, only to do nothing and still get attacked, to be called jealous and spiteful. Its not to much to ask, is it?

She had a post on boards a few weeks, all about me. But it was far from the truth. She described herself. In it she said that i wanted her dead. I never wanted her dead. I just wanted her moods to stop. For her to grow up. Like i said, she described herself but made it out to be about me, so did she want me dead? Does she want me dead? Why?

I have been ignoring her since june. I can't handle it anymore. I don't want to be giving her any excuse at all. But just tonight i completely ignored her and she took it out on the cat. One thing i absolutely love in life, animals. And she knew how to get to me.
The poor thing was sleeping, she picked him up, bent his legs in such a way, and threw him down on the kitchen tiles with such force like you would smash things in a fit of rage. He didn't even land on his feet. He seems ok now, though.

But why the cat? I have seen it in her years ago, when i had another cat. She was trying to get to me, and she kicked him in his mouth.

She's a viscous and controlling. What can i do? I don't want her taking it out the animals. Should i report her?

(I hear you all saying, move out. I am in a few weeks).

Jammyc

I can sympathise with you entirely, I will say however that you should perhaps not call someone a child untill you can resolve a situation by never wanting to talk to someone again.

As for the poor old cat, she should be reported and sanctioned appropriately. That is just disgraceful behaviour and probably truly defines the character youre trying to show us.

Try take the cat with you when you move.

TPD

Move out? Best way to not get riled by someone like that it to not be near them.

LegacyUser

lisajane wrote: »

She would get moody, lash out at me, verbally abuse me for whatever reason. I never knew when she would attack me next. I always have to watch what i said with her, because i didn't want to start her off. It was always like walking on eggshells.

Ops sister here,

the op is describing herself here.

leaving out what happened in the past, I'll explain about tonights episode: went to bed. wanted an early night. We share a room. She was in her bed - tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap onto her keyboard. Tap, tap, tap, tap, turn on her flashlight, tap, tap, tap, tap,... It's hard to sleep when someone is tapping away... I asked her to finish up. Tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, she continued. She's has done this a few times before trying to keep me awake. I have a job to get to in the mornings, I need to get to sleep at a reasonable time. She would have continued well into the night.

I was out of line with the cat, and I'm so sorry - the poor creature. Her way to solve it all tonight after the cats drama - thump, thump, thump, thump into my shoulder. Maybe will I complain her for assault?

Op didn't mention her own violet outbursts in her post. She didn't mention that she's not talking to another member of the family in well over 6 months. Everybody has a problem except for her. Her way to solve any sort of an issue is to insult and ignore. She has extreme anger issues - doesn't realise it herself - everybody else has the problem except for her. Don't know what shes talking about me verbally abusing her - the stuff that comes out of her own mouth during any sort of any arguement is unreal - always bringing in other stuff that is unrelated to the dispute. She has constantly called me a whore, a tramp, a slapper and a tart - wish she'd learn the meaning og those words. I am not any of these by the way.

I'm at a standtill myself regarding moving - I need a car first so I can get to and from work

FionaC

Ok perhaps you two should sit down and talk about your differences instead of communicating through boards.

You need to grow up and face your problems. Even though you are sisters doesn't mean you automatically can be friends and get along. The difference is you have to live together so you need to find a way to be able to both be in the same room together. You can't choose your work collegues and you certainly can't choose your siblings but you have to just tolerate each other.

If you can't do that i'd suggest one of you move out then at least you stand some chance at family occassions to be able to stand each other in the same room before your relationship is ruined altogether.

FionaC

Oh by the way op sister i really think what you did to the cat is pure cruel and i don't think you should be allowed own pets in the future.

kmick

Sounds like the two of you are peas in a pod. You both have some serious issues. Violence against each other and animals is a sure sign of poor mental health. Move out fast and avoid each other for a while. Tap tap tap indeed.

tbh

kmick wrote: »

Sounds like the two of you are peas in a pod. You both have some serious issues. Violence against each other and animals is a sure sign of poor mental health. Move out fast and avoid each other for a while. Tap tap tap indeed.

agreed. you both sound like a nightmare, tbh.

sachamama

why are you sharing a room when you both are so old?

i think that's the problem. you need your own space. its about time.

give each other space now, respect that you both need your own room, see if you can reorganise the house where you live now so that you each have a space of your own to work in. and im delighted one of you is moving out soon.
it doesnt sound like either of you hate each other really. you're just on top of each other and its been WAAYY too long.

give each other a hug, and work together to make the next few weeks more pleasant until you can get actual physical space away .

LegacyUser

Has anyone else noticed the OP posts the same stuff every few weeks about her sister, never following a single bit of the advice that's given to her?

sparkydee

Well whatever about the op what the sister did to cat is horrific. And reading both posts the sister sounds more like the one with more issues. But as previous posters have said ye need to sort yourselves out and fast. Life is too short to behave like you both do.

Emme

Find a better home for the cat, it doesn't deserve to be the butt of anyone's temper.

LegacyUser

+1 on the cat. That enrages me. When I hear about people hurting animals for no reason it makes me want to hurt them. And having a cranky little temper is no excuse, none at all.

Other than that unfortunate animal it sounds like the makings of a great sitcom.

wexford202

Ye both should not even be at home at this stage let alone share a room with each other.

I think ye are both as stubborn as each other and one day ye wil both and i mean both regret your ctions to one anoter espically if anything serious was to ever happen to one of ye.

Grow up. Put the past behind and start afresh with at least seperate rooms.

As for your cat I woudl if I knew who ye were report you to animal wlefare. That is disgusting carry on and ye should be ashamed of yourself for that type of abuse. I would have you locked up for that.

wexford202

wexford202 wrote: »

As for your cat I woudl if I knew who ye were report you to animal wlefare. That is disgusting carry on and ye should be ashamed of yourself for that type of abuse. I would have you locked up for that.

Ditto. Why the hell are you sharing a room at your age anyway?
You sound like Patty and Selma from the Simpsons, except violent versions.

LegacyUser

Oh My God! These few lines from the OP is alarming!

lisajane wrote: »

I have been ignoring her since june. I can't handle it anymore. I don't want to be giving her any excuse at all. But just tonight i completely ignored her and she took it out on the cat.

It takes two to tango! TWO! The OP wrote her post protraying her sister as a bad person and her (the op) is absolutely innocent in all this. I doubt that the op is innocent in this and other past issues as shes making out to be.

Keeping someone awake at night, espeically when one has to get up for work in the morning is a form of TORTURE. The sister resorted to treating the cat badly out of despair.

What you did op, keeping her awake was spiteful. Your sister was trying to get to sleep and you ignored her plee to finish up and continued on the keyboard. She was in despair in which she resorted to taking it out on the cat, and you yourself lashed out at your sister hitting her.

I believe you are over exaggerating in your post to protray your sister in a bad light to get as much pity as possible from people here on boards, and I will explain why:

lisajane wrote: »

She would get moody, lash out at me, verbally abuse me for whatever reason.

That to me would mean that your sister beats you up on a regular basis, or comes close to. If she is as dangerous as what you're making out to be why don't you go to the gaurds and report her? Why does your family not intervene and seek help for her?

No where in your post did I read that you wanted to solve the issues with your sister. Instead you want to cause further hurt by reporting her and never speaking to her again.

lisajane wrote: »

Over the past year there has been a hundred times where she blamed me for taking stuff of her, things in which she misplaced but i always got the blame.

This to me seems as if your sister does not trust you. Simple as that! It also seems as if the two of you simply annoy each other. You cannot solve issues by ignoring people OP. I highly recommend you both to put your differences behind you and apologise to each other. And keep some distance between each other for a few months. That means moving out op. Not in a few weeks. This weekend.

You were given advice before. Move away and stay away from your sister. You wont do this though because it seems as if you enjoy causing trouble and anguish for your sister abd other members of you family.

Theres somebody else in your family that you're not speaking to? Whats all that about?

Read past threads from you op. You're not happy in your work?

You're not happy with your family, and also with your work. I'm not a doctor but this could be depression.

To the OPs sister: Your sister is trying to rise you to get you worked up. Don't fall for this. It seems as if your sister is out to hurt you in same way or another. If you're reading this anytime would you be able to link the thread you wrote about your sister?

lisajane

Sorry that this whole post sounds so fing childish and it is. Its silly and its stupid. What my sister fotgot to say, was just how perfect she was in the past year!

1. Order her a phone from internet using my credit card. She gave me cash. for the phone. Phone was 2 weeks late. She was convinced that i kept the money. She was violent and abusive towards me demanding her money back. There was no telling her it was late. When the phone came, there was no apology.

2. She misplaced a book. The rules of the road book. She blamed me for taking it. Telling me i was spiteful and jealous of her trying to learn to drive. I tore the house upside down looking for that book just to prove her wrong. No apology either.

3. She asked me one morning to sit in with her while she was driving. (I have the full licence). I was busy and couldn't. She turned against me telling me i wouldn't sit in because i was jealous. I was just being spiteful. She went on and on. There was no shutting her up.

4. I couldn't drive her to the gym another time and she turned on me once again. Apparently i didn't want her to lose weight and thats why i couldn't drive her to the gym.

5. We both wanted to go to a xmas party. The very same week i got a rash all over myself. Itchy horrible rash and i was covered in it. (I was told it was psoriasis-no surprise there, my granny has it). Just google pics of guttate psoriasis and you'll see just how ugly that is, so to say the least the xmas party was the last thing on my mind. But there was nothing stopping my sister from going but because i wasn't going, she wouldn't go. She turned on me once again, telling me i only build up her hopes just to let her down. I was jealous once again bacause i didn't want her to get a guy she had her eye on at the xmas party.

6. She asked me for advice on a car. Since it was only for learning i told her to get a heap of sht, so if she scratched, bumped it, crashed it wouldn't be so bad, and considering she had already crashed. She turned on me once again and took my advice that i just didn't want her to get a better car than me.

7. She gets up late and its all my fault. Back in june she told me i should be wearing nappies and to leave the bathroom free for her.

And of course, i don't want to be treated like this. Who does? To be called spiteful and jealous. Im not going to stand back and take it. yes i do call her names but its after her temper tantrums that i do.

That's just a couple of things. I warned her before the june episode to cop on to herself. And that's it, i give up with it. Its schizophrenic behaviour.

And now she's just rising me. Completely lashed out on the cat which was totally unfair on him. And ya i did hit her, to fight back on the cat's behalf.

This seems to be the only way we can communicate with each other. I can't speak to her in person, i'l just get my head bitten off.

I absolutely love the way how she posted anoymously and dragged in everything to make me look like the real bitch here. The situation between myself and my brother for example. (well to cut it short, he asked me to pick him up outside the college one evening. I drove 20miles out of my way to pick him up, and for him to ring me 2 minutes away from the college and tell me he has a lift. I got over it. But its him not even speaking to me cause i got mad at him over that). Oh ya she forgot to mention that, cause im meant to be one with the issues.

Now, give it to me. Give me your opinions. Is it me with the issues? Am i being unreasonable. I only want an easy life and just to get on with it. Tell me am i one being the real bitch here? Well just basically any advice, cause i can't go on like this anymore. And even when i do move out in a few weeks, i don't want to leave like this either.

Jammyc

I honestly think you two should get off boards and talk about this together and stop wasting everyone elses time and your own. Youre going to get nothing done here talking to eachother over the internet.

Wacker

lisajane wrote: »

Now, give it to me. Give me your opinions. Is it me with the issues? Am i being unreasonable. I only want an easy life and just to get on with it. Tell me am i one being the real bitch here?

Why do you presume that only one of you can be the bitch? That might sound harsh, but you're both clearly bitches to each other. Maybe you're both perfectly charming to other people (i.e. not cats, in one of your cases), so the problem here is proximity. One or both of you needs to move out. Don't waste any breath saying you can't; imagine you came home one day and found your house had burnt down. What would you do; try sleep in the rubble? You can find a way if you need to.

cbmonstra

Look, I'm 27 and I live with my sister, who's just over a year younger than me...

To be honest, you both sound like we were.... when we were 6 and 7...

For God's sake, if the verbal and physical abuse is that bad don't live together.

I was worried when my sister and I moved in together, as children we fought loads, but she's the best housemate I ever had, and I'm not looking forward to the day I eventually have to get my own place.

If the two of you can't be civil and act your ages then forget it. I just hope that whoever you both do end up moving in with is a saint, cos it sounds llike they might need the patience!!

lisajane

Well i can certainly be civil to her but its so hard to wake up in the mornings and you don't know when she'l turn on you and call you selfish, jealous, spiteful etc. My only way is to ignore her and hopefully she might know how it upsets me. Its like walking on eggshells, you just don't know when it happens. She has even lashed out on the dog another time and all because she had to walk to the village which was a 10 minute walk. That's not fair, taking it out on poor innocent defenseless creatures. She has alot of growing up to do. And if she doesn't she her own behaviour in it, i don't know what i can do. She's paranoid and thinks i'm out to get her, and i'm not.

LegacyUser

What your sister did was wrong and disgusting but I cannot see how anybody can justify hitting people op. What you did was even more disgusting. I cannot stand violence in a home. If you were to hit a stranger you'd be appear in court. Does the ISPCA go about hitting people for animal cruelty.
You are bringing a lot of past arguments/situations into your currant dispute. Are you going to carry all that into the future? And bring it up with every arguement?

Busi_Girl08

First and foremost, got the pets the hell out of there.

They have done absolutely nothing to deserve this abuse, and you are abusing them as well if you are keeping them in this environment.

Second of all...grow the hell up, the pair of you. Life is too short to give out about the stupidest of things like a bloody driving lesson or going to a party. If she's not going to listen, then you leave. Staying in that house with her isn't going to do either of ye any good. Stay away from each other, keep your distance, it will do you both good in the long run.

Maybe it will give you both a chance to think about the things that are more important...

I'm sorry if I sound harsh, but you are two grow women, maybe ye should start acting it, and that does not involve going back and forth on a message forum.

pocketdooz

Level obviously

Should be pretty obvious


.

lisajane

pandora.charm wrote: »

What your sister did was wrong and disgusting but I cannot see how anybody can justify hitting people op. What you did was even more disgusting. I cannot stand violence in a home. If you were to hit a stranger you'd be appear in court. Does the ISPCA go about hitting people for animal cruelty.
You are bringing a lot of past arguments/situations into your currant dispute. Are you going to carry all that into the future? And bring it up with every arguement?

I wasn't bringing past arguments into it all. I was just writing about her moody tantrums over the past year towards me so other people can get a view of what's she's like. She thinks she can treat me like sht and i will tolerate it time and time again. Iv had enough. You would get sick of it too. If it was anyone else, i would told them to f off ages ago and i would never see them again but for some reason people think i should put up with it because she's family. I do stay well away from her and not even giving her any excuse (hense just ignoring her since june) but she rises me. I will never stand back and watch a poor animal being treated so bad by anyone. To lash out on an innocent creature.

LegacyUser

Hasn't this been going on for years? What I mean is, I feel like I've been reading online about a lisajane and her sister not getting on for a very long time, possibly on different sites. If it's the same pair (and I'm almost certain it is) then you've both gotten lots of advice over the years and haven't listened to a word of it. One or both of you move out and stop bloody well attacking animals!

Ridiculous for two adults in the same house to be behaving like this.

Handsome Bob

Ladies, seriously, I know it's difficult and not perhaps realistic but one of you needs to move out, it's the only way you two can build some bridges again. I'm speaking from experience here, once the familiarity of being in each others face all the time is gone you will begin to appreciate each other. You'd be amazed at how much positivity and friendship comes out of only seeing each other a few hours a week instead of 24/7.

You sound as bad as each other. It is absolutely pathetic for two adults to be going on like this. You both need to grow up and/or move out.

LegacyUser

lisajane wrote: »

I do stay well away from her and not even giving her any excuse (hense just ignoring her since june) but she rises me.

Not even giving her any excuse - You kept her awake? God only knows what else you have done for your sister to behave in such a manner. You're coming onto boards pretending to be a good girl who can do no wrong. The sooner you realise that you are partly at fault the better.

Agree with LZ5by5

Zaph

OK, having read through this thread it seems to me that neither the OP or her sister are willing to give an inch, so everyone's just going around in circles, including them. That sort of childish behaviour from two grown adults is ridiculous, and tbh I don't think we need to hear any more of it here. Ladies, I suggest you sit down and try to have a have a civilised discussion between yourselves, even if it involves having a family member or outside third party like a counsellor as a mediator. Both of you have a lot of growing up to do and you're not going to do it by constantly sniping at one another here on Boards, so for that reason I'm locking this thread.

lisajane, you have started 21 separate threads in PI, 9 of which have been about your sister, with at least a further 4 about various other members of your family. If you can't resolve any issues with them directly, I really can't see how we can help you here. Please don't start any more threads of this nature in PI as they won't be entertained.