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Tired of dreaming of ex

  • 09-09-2009 8:15am
    #1
    Unhappy_01
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1 ✭


    I broke up with my boyfriend of four years in December 08, although it wasn't a decision I really wanted to make because we both loved eachother alot we had so many problems that just wern't being resolved and brought up in every fight. Breaking up seemed like the best thing for both of us and I still now think I did the right thing.

    The first few months after the break up I was so upset and had dreams nearly every night involving my ex and I expected that. After a while they wern't so frequent but around May I found out he had a new girlfriend, it stung a bit but I didn't think 'oh I want him back now' or anything. That's when the dreams started again, every single night. I do still love him in a way but I've accepted I couldn't go back to a bad relationship even if he was single and I'm happy being single.

    Other than a few txts here and there like happy birthday I havn't talked or seen him since the break up.

    I just don't understand though why every time I close my eyes he's there and the dreams usually consist of me seeing him with his girlfriend, getting really upset and then waking up crying or feeling really depressed. Its really getting me down and affecting my life i just don't know why my brain can't let him go. Anyone ever experience this even when they really wanted to move on?


Comments

  • #2
    lolli
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,173 ✭✭✭lolli


    You were with him for so long at its only natural that you were attached to him. While you might not want to get back with him i'm sure that you miss having him in your life. It takes time to adjust to life without a person that was in it for so long.

    When i broke up with a long term boyfriend it took me about a year to fully get over it. It wasn't that I wanted to get back with him, I just missed him being in my life because we had spent every day of the previous 3 years together. Its hard to adjust.

    Just keep going, you'll get there. Make sure you get out there and enjoy yourself. It'll pass and get easier with time.


  • #3
    ellie1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 360 ✭✭ellie1


    I think your subconcious is trying to tell you something.
    Maybe you think breaking up was the right thing to do but deep
    down buried somewhere there is unresolved feelings.

    Try writing all your feelings about him, his girlfriend and your day every night before sleeping. Be really honest. And then do the same in the evening.


  • #4
    VaioCruiser
    Closed Accounts Posts: 750 ✭✭✭VaioCruiser


    OP, it sounds like you have not moved on socially and haven't got involved in other activities, with other guys. If you don't do that then your mind has nothing else to do but reflect on the past ... :rolleyes:


    All the best


  • #5
    kjl
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,127 ✭✭✭kjl


    Unhappy_01 wrote: »
    I broke up with my boyfriend of four years in December 08, although it wasn't a decision I really wanted to make because we both loved eachother alot we had so many problems that just wern't being resolved and brought up in every fight. Breaking up seemed like the best thing for both of us and I still now think I did the right thing.

    The first few months after the break up I was so upset and had dreams nearly every night involving my ex and I expected that. After a while they wern't so frequent but around May I found out he had a new girlfriend, it stung a bit but I didn't think 'oh I want him back now' or anything. That's when the dreams started again, every single night. I do still love him in a way but I've accepted I couldn't go back to a bad relationship even if he was single and I'm happy being single.

    Other than a few txts here and there like happy birthday I havn't talked or seen him since the break up.

    I just don't understand though why every time I close my eyes he's there and the dreams usually consist of me seeing him with his girlfriend, getting really upset and then waking up crying or feeling really depressed. Its really getting me down and affecting my life i just don't know why my brain can't let him go. Anyone ever experience this even when they really wanted to move on?

    Op if its any constellation, I have the exact same problem, an ex of mine recently got pregnant and I have these weird dreams where I have sex with her while she is pregnant. Its not a sexual dream at all, and I wake up very uneasy,

    for me, I used the fact that she was pregnant as closure, but I suppose subconsciously I may still have some sort of feelings for her.

    I think it could be the same with you and your ex bo. Although, I recently started seeing someone else, and I haven't had a dream about her since.


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