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  • 08-09-2009 10:16am
    #1
    Rufus.T.Firefly
    Closed Accounts Posts: 159 ✭✭


    I went for an Indian last night.

    The waiter came over and said "Curry OK?"

    I said "Go on then, one song then you can sod off".

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Have you ever wondered about those people who pay a fortune for those little bottles of Evian water?

    Try spelling Evian backwards.......

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Whenever my uncle tries to squeeze into a tight gap left between two parked cars, he starts to shake uncontrollably.

    I think he suffers from parking zones disease.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    A moustache walks up to a bouncer and says

    "alrite mate, any chance of letting us in?",

    the bouncer says

    "sorry mate, not tonight, you're clearly off your face"

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    I woke up in the hospital the other day and the doctor said,

    "I've got some good news and bad news."

    "What's the bad news?" I asked.

    "You've been in a car crash and you're paralysed from the waist down.

    Your girlfriend died on impact and your son is in a coma showing no response."

    "Blimey that is bad news!" I said.

    "What's the good?"

    "You're favourite to win X Factor next year."



    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    I noticed on the Bookie's window:

    Open Sunday 11-2.

    I'll have a tenner on that.

    He was open last Sunday.


Comments

  • #2
    Nikko
    Closed Accounts Posts: 88 ✭✭Nikko


    Excellent selection Rufus T. - especially the 'parking zones' one. I'm gonna use that one if ya don't mind!!

    :P


  • #3
    Rufus.T.Firefly
    Closed Accounts Posts: 159 ✭✭Rufus.T.Firefly


    Nikko wrote: »
    Excellent selection Rufus T. - especially the 'parking zones' one. I'm gonna use that one if ya don't mind!!

    :P


    No problem Nikko....keep em coming :p


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