Friendship Gone Bad??

LegacyUser

Right hears the story. I've been really close friends with female coworker since she started about 10 months ago. I'm male late 20's and married she's the same age and single.
From day one we sparked up a great friendship and always have such a great laugh together. A major lot of flirting and innuendo being part of our conversations both face to face and on text messages. There have been allot of work nights out and at these she has sat with me all night chatting and flirting outrageously and not talking to anyone else. Me giving as good as I was getting and enjoying it all. I love every minute of chatting, laughing with and txting her, she always spoke about us being really great friends.

But last week I was visiting her place just the two of us chatting. We were talking about a women at work that her husband has just left her. I said that I would never do anything like like that and there could never be any thing like that between the two of us. Well since I said that she has totally changed. Not answering texts and not saying two words to me face to face. I rang her to say sorry and that I was being silly, she said she was upset at what I said and thought we were good friends and that I was accusing her of wanting more than friendship. We went out with friends over the this weekend and she ignored me all night.


Over the last day fewdays she has started replying to my texts but not the way she used to or the usual subjects, now just general stuff at work. She lives really near me and if we are on the same shift we take it on turns to give each other a lift its my turn at the moment so I txted her today to ask her if she wants a lift and she excepted. I don't want to bring it all up again with her so I'm thinking about acting normally with her and hope she comes round. I really enjoy her company and all the laughs I have with her so would like all that back.


What do you all think, Was she offended that I had suggested such a thing or Is she upset because she does want more than friendship and what should I do.

Faith

Right, I had a reply typed out, but I've deleted it. All I'll say is, does your wife know about this friendship? And is she okay with it? Maybe I'm being overly jealous or whatnot, but if my husband or boyfriend "flirted outrageously" with a single female friend and shunned others on nights out in favour of spending time with her, I'd be very hurt and concerned.

Personally, I think you should back off with the flirting and treat her as you would any other colleague. Whether she is interested in you or not doesn't matter - you're married. Fair enough if you just want your friend back, but if you take away all the flirting and sexual tension, are you really left with such a great friend?

LegacyUser

I think you did offend her by your comment. If you're a single female, people in relationships always think that you're trying to get with them / their partner & it is frustrating.

However the two of you do seem to have a relationship that's closer than regular friendship & maybe this is the time to put it on a different footing. You can be friends without the "outrageous flirting" & if you cant well then maybe you're not just friends?

thefeatheredcat

Yeah, I think she could have taken offence be seen to be looking for something if that wasn't the case although beforehand it might have given that impression with innuendos and flirtation that occurred. At least she's been set straight on the matter anyway.

I wouldn't take the change in texts personally, she's just adjusting herself to get over the issue. Let the dust settle a bit.

If you think that there's a strong bond of friendship that's worth salvaging (and assuming not mere flirtation or sexual that could cause problems in the future), go for it.

SarahSassy

She was laughing and talking with you like that because she thought you were 'safe' and that ye had a friendship. She now thinks the boundaries have been breached and is not happy with the outcome. I dont think she had any designs on you but was just brough up short when you insinduated you thought she may want an affairs...

Am very curious if your wife knows about the level of this friendship....