any advise welcome

sharky86

Hey folks. send i'd just pop on in here and ask ye all for some advise as you do.

Well here goes, was in a relationship with a woman for a few years and have had a wonderful child together, When child was one we broke up and now live apart. From conversations with her and her friends etc she and I both know that we were both brook up over it. Tried the whole "get over her get under someone else" thing....DOSEN'T WORK!! would not recommend it as it can sometimes only mess up your head, yes it made me feel very matcho for an hour or two and what not but it didnt make me feel like a man, actaully kinda felt quilty when next day when I brought my baby girl to the park, out for walks etc, Felt like a player and that is not something I aspire to be.

Can't do the whole advoiding thing to get her out of my head as this would mean not seening my little girl as offen ether (currently I see her everday after work, great in one sense I know, but also means I see the X everyday) We still get on well have the normal disagreements bout stuff yeno.

Well anyhow I still love you, Would love to give it a try again and I think she knows. Problem is she says she doesnt that it would only make things messy and complex. That would be grand except every so often "things" happen between us which confuses me even more. she says lets not mention it again everytime and I kinda mention that I would like to see where it leads. Am I crazy for not been able to just say its just sex and nothing else. any suggestions as to what I should do?

Xiney

It takes two people to want a relationship.

You can't convince her to feel the same way you do.

So, if she doesn't want to be in a relationship with you, you WILL just have to get over her. And that means stopping the no strings attached sex etc.

LegacyUser

next time she wants for 'things' to happen between ye. stop. don't let it. tell her how you feel and you want to whole deal or nothing. nothing like withdrawing sex when its most wanted to get someones attention. be warned thou wimmin aren't used to having sex refused like us blokes are - some of em don't know how to deal with it - so theres a slight risk of some mentalist outbursts on her part

VaioCruiser

Unregistered wrote: »

next time she wants for 'things' to happen between ye. stop. don't let it. tell her how you feel and you want to whole deal or nothing. nothing like withdrawing sex when its most wanted to get someones attention. be warned thou wimmin aren't used to having sex refused like us blokes are - some of em don't know how to deal with it - so theres a slight risk of some mentalist outbursts on her part

The point here is good.

OP you need to get the balance between having a bit of 'fun' with her from time to time, and being too heavy on the 'where it leads' thing.

One solution is the one proposed above. Say no to any 'fun' moments and when she tries, tell her you cannot just dip in and out of your emotions as easily as she can. Tell her how you feel, though without making it sound TOO much about 'where it might lead' ....

Hope that makes sense.

All the best

sharky86

Cheers folks might try that next time..will let ya know how it goes