Getting screwed over by men

LegacyUser

Ok before i start i have to say that i do not think all men are B@stards there are alot of good guys out there..

Ok so here is a little background I'm 22 finished college going into a reasonable job so i would consider myself reasonably successful so far.. I'm tall (5ft10) size 14 and will never be a size 8. but it think the best thing i have going for me is my personality i've a good sense of humour and have loads of friends..I've heard from guys that i am great craic (Ok this is beggining to sound like a personal ad time to get to the point..)

So i've established that i think i'm generally a decent enough person (Bout a 7) but i always end up being treated **** by guys. 3 times i have ended up being the other woman where i end up scoring guys and then finding out they have a girlfriend.. I can honestly say i did not know that they were in relationships so i'm not a bunny boiler or anything one of them said that it had been all off with his girlfriend for a few weeks so i thought he was fair game untill i found out after that they had never broken up.

I'm now becoming paranoid that they will have girlfriends that i don't know about.. so the last guy i was with i was convinced he was single we were getting on great.. we were together for 5 months last time i saw him we were after sleeping together (not for the first time and the sex was great) I made him a smoothie for breakfast and he kissed me good bye said he'd ring and i never heard from him again...

Ok so the main point is that i'm beginning to hold a grudge for men that I am just gonna end up getting hurt.. Just from talking to my girl-friends i'm hearing so many horror stories about men treating them badly that "men are W@nk B@stards" is now becoming my catchphrase..

I'm just attracting the wrong type of men??

Cleopatra12

Nope, you are just having a bad run... Happens to us all! Have been in the same boat, finding men who i think are single and who aren't.

All i can say, cos this is what i am doing, is sit back, forget about men and just go out an enjoy your life. It will happen when its ready to...

Do you get to know these guys' friends/families at all? Do you know much about them? Whenever I've dated someone in the past, I've been introduced to friends and so on fairly early on, included in nights out and dinners and things. It would be very hard for a guy to do this if he already had a girlfriend everyone knew about! If a guy was very hesitant to make me a part of his life, as opposed to meeting up for a shag every weekend, I'd be very wary.

CaoimheX

Regarding guys, the unfortunate protocol (but necessary)is to take the cynical approach first with them all ( because most of them are chancers as we all know!) Like above post, you need to establish what their circle of friends/family are then you can make an informed opinion instead of just wanting to believe the story they spin...., unless of course its just a fling you require...;)

LegacyUser

Hey, first of all you need to stop scoring yourself!
You start your response with being 22 and not a size 10!
At 22, when I remember that far back (not aht long ago, by the way!), as a bloke, I was extremely horny and would do whatever to get a shag, however, I wouldn't shag or anything else, someone I didn't find attractive, so first thing you need to understand is, that you are obviously attractive! This 'using' people, is part of life unfortunately, and something you just have to accept, all the feminists and other similar radicals will tell you that it's all wrong and unacceptable, but the reality is that it's life, it's up to you to show some self worth, and not to give it away.
Don't blame blokes for wanting to get what they can, it's natural, but the fact that they want it, shows that you have a lot to offer! It's up to you to decide who you want to allow access!

VaioCruiser

HI OP. I really thing this is a case of what kind of guys you are getting involved with.
I see some real self esteem issues with all of this 'self assessment' and 'scoring' stuff. And as a result I then see you being attracted to and attracting guys who are toxic for you. Guys who don't respect you - probably because they can tell that you don't value yourself very much.
This 'run' of experiences will continue, in my opinion, until you break the cycle by tackling your self esteem issues and seeking out a better kind of guy.

All the best.

LegacyUser

Original poster here.

In relation to meetin their circle of friends i have met friends in certain instances mainly always guys... So I assume they just don't say anything.. I work in Dublin and one of the guys worked in Limerick and since at the time i didn't drive he always came to Dublin and we'd go out and come back to mine never really noticed that i hadn't met any of his people.. His boss definitely knew about it cause he joked that his boss said

I don't think i have low self esteem probably the opposite i think what i was trying to put across is that i am a decent person but i always end up being treated like crap..

Giblet

It happens to everyone, I can moan on about how I've been treated badly by every woman I've been with, but I see my friends get on great with lovely girls wo are genuinely nice, you just have to scope it out. In a way, a lot of guys will just go for a girl without any intention of seeing her again, but you have to be watchful of this, get to know a guy first. Guys who like girls will still show interest even if they don't get to kiss her etc.

beks101

I agree with this ^^, you have to be clear on what you're after with the guys you're dating as there are many chancers out there! I don't see this as a bad thing, it's just human nature given your age.

It's all too easy to become bitter and start to tar them all with the same brush but try to keep your chin up, everyone goes through these tough phases with the opposite sex.

You know your own worth, you know you're a decent person who deserves a good guy so keep plugging away until you meet him!

villains77

its not only the men that treat people like s**t. women do it aswell. dont know howw many times i or a mate been hurt by a woman but like somebody said thats life we get over it. maybe take a break from looking for men/women and you might find him/her when you least expect it happen to a friend of mine recently so you never know whats around the corner good luck

LegacyUser

Your just have to keep the faith that you will find a good guy! kiss alot of toads till you meet your prince so to speak